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offensive jokes..


graffsurgeon

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I love dead baby jokes.

 

Told a few at the baby and childrens expo a few weekends ago.

 

* How do you stop a baby from choking?

Take your dick out of its mouth.

 

* What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?

I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.

 

* What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?

You don't have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it

 

Boom boom tish.

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why do black people like basketball so much?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

because its the only sport where they can run, steal, and shoot, without worrying about the cops!

badum tish....

 

 

 

whats long, black, and always stinks?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the unemployment line!

badum tish

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what happens to women over 60?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they get raped.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Holocaust

 

holocaust00.jpg

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So this yoked up gangster dude goes to prison for his first bid.

Gets paired up with a big fuckin' black dude.

Black dude starts telling the fresh fish the ropes.

Then axes him you wanna be the husband or the wife.

Fish says the husband. (obviously)

Black dude says well get down on your knees and suck your wifes dick.

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here's some of the good ones that were posted on the first 20 pages or so with a few exceptions

 

a plane is flying over america when the pilot says " i have good and bad news. the bad news is that we're going to crash, the good news is that if we get rid of some passengers we might be able to land." so he says " we'll go alphabetically, we'll start with A..

are there any African Americans on board?"

no one answers

"are there any Blacks on board?"

again no one answers

" are there any Colored people?"

still no answer.

a little black boy looks at his dad and says

"dad, aren't we all 3, African American, Black, and Colored?"

the father says

"No, son, today we're niggers, let the mexicans go first."

 

what do you tell a girl with two black eyes..?

nothing..you already told her twice..

 

whats the difference between a gay man and a fridge?

a fridge doesent fart when you pull out the meat.

 

what do you do to a stumbling black man in your backyard?

shoot him again.

 

whats long and hard on a black man?

teh third grade.

 

Q: Why do black people play basketball?

A: They can run, shoot, and steal

 

Q: What's long, black and smelly?

A: An unemployment line.

 

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow-job?

A: You know she'll swallow.

 

Why did the redneck cross the road?

A: Because he coundn't get his dick out of the chicken.

 

Why do Jews have big noses?

Air's free......

 

what do you do when you see a black in your back yard with half his head blown off..?

stop laughing and reload.

 

whats wrong with 5 blacks in a cadillac driving off a cliff..

a cadillac fits 6.

 

There was a Jap, a Mexican, and an American standing over a bridge. They came to throw something over the bridge that they had too much of...The Japanese man threw over some rice, the Mexican threw over some beans, and the American threw over the Mexican.

 

why doesnt mexico ever win the olympics?

if they could run or swim, they'd be in the u.s.

 

Why don't women know how to ski?

No snow between bedroom and kitchen

 

Why don't women wear watches?

There's a clock on the stove

 

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks??

Slap the bitch.

how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

give the bitch a shovel..

 

A black and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving?

A cop

 

Q:What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball??

A:Juan on Juan

 

Q:What do you call four black guys in a car??

A:Tinted windows

 

Q:What are the first words a Mexican hears in the US?

A:"Attention K-Mart shoppers"

 

Q:What do you call two black guys in a sleeping bag?

A:TWIX!

 

Q:Why are black people's palms white?

A:Because their hands were facing the wall when Jesus was spray painting them black.

 

Q:How do you blindfold a Chinese guy?

A:With dental floss

 

Q:What do you call a thousand black guys falling from the sky?

A:night

 

Q:What do you call a bunch of black guys on a ship?

A:Chips ahoy!

 

Q:What's the difference between a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky?

A:The vending machine says "insert Bill here"

 

Q: what do 54,000 abused woman have in common?

A: none of them fucking listen

 

Q: what do you do after raping a deaf mute girl?

A: break her fingers so she can't tell anybody

 

Q: whats the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King day?

A: on St. Patrick's Day, everybody wants to be Irish

 

Q: why don't puerto ricans have check books?

A: because its impossible to write your name that small in spray paint

 

Q: what do you call a puerto rican midget?

A: a spec

 

Q: why is there so little puerto rican literature?

A: spray paint wasn't invented until 1949

 

Q: whats the first thing a woman does when she gets home from the

battered womens clinic?

A: the dishes if the bitch knows whats good for her

 

Q: how do you keep 5 black guys from raping a white woman?

A: give them a basketball

 

Why does helen keller masturbate with her left hand?

-So she can moan with the right

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why do black people like basketball so much?

because its the only sport where they can run, steal, and shoot, without worrying about the cops!

badum tish....

 

whats long, black, and always stinks?

 

the unemployment line!

badum tish

 

 

you stole those from the first page of this thread...

 

badum tish

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edit: haha i posted this joke already a few pages back... man im high. i'll think of another

 

 

stole these from a google search....

 

----

 

whats the hardest part about rollerblading?

 

telling your dad you're gay.

 

 

 

 

so a black man has finally reached the highest echelon of us government.

 

too bad he still has to have government subsidized housing.

 

 

and this one was pretty funny, worth the read (if you're a fast reader...)

 

 

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.

 

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

 

One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

 

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

 

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

 

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

 

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

 

 

 

And the moral of this story is:

 

Always keep your condoms in your car.

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What do you get when you mix a Saber tooth tiger and Sir Elton John?

 

 

 

I don't know but ya better keep it away from your ass.

 

 

 

Why did Sir Mick Jagger urinate on his daughter?

 

 

 

He mistook her for a fan.

 

 

 

 

Why did God send Terry Schiavo to Hell?

 

 

 

For her sin of sloth

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a plane is flying over america when the pilot says " i have good and bad news. the bad news is that we're going to crash, the good news is that if we get rid of some passengers we might be able to land." so he says " we'll go alphabetically, we'll start with A..

are there any African Americans on board?"

no one answers

"are there any Blacks on board?"

again no one answers

" are there any Colored people?"

still no answer.

a little black boy looks at his dad and says

"dad, aren't we all 3, African American, Black, and Colored?"

the father says

"No, son, today we're niggers, let the mexicans go first."

 

 

Good joke heres the rest.

 

The little black boy then decides to point and laugh at the mexican sitting next to him. He says "Haha your gonna die first" the mexican then laughs and says " HAHA not so fast, im a wetback today"

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