Grant_Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 offensive IF you understand it A Negro preacher was heavy into a sermon when he was interupted by a man near the back shouting "Lock the do' and don't a mulla fucka move!" The preacher said "Whoa, who's that interupting my sermon?" The dude stood up and said "I did. Somebody done lifted my wallet. I had it right here in my ass pocket and now it's gone." The preacher said "Well I can understand you getting upset, but I don't see where you had to interupt my sermon. And besides that, where did you say you had it?" He said "Right here in my ass pocket." The preacher said "Well it's your own fault then. You should have been carrying it in your inside coat pocket like I ......Lock the do' and don't a mulla fucka move!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant_Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Two colored ladies were riding on a Greyhound bus to California. In Arizona, two American Indian ladies got on and they all got to talking. Soon one of the colored girls asked one of the Indians what kind of Indians they were. One said "I'm Arapaho and she's a Navaho." The colored girl said, "Well I'm a Dallas ho' and she's a Foat Wuth ho'." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant_Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 not really offensive but fuck it A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asks. "Cojones, senor, " the waiter replies. "What are cojones?" the man asks. "Cojones, " the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon." At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. After dinner the man informed the waiter that these were better than the pair he had the previous afternoon but the portion was much smaller. "Senor, " the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant_Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Ancient Chinese Sayings "Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired." "Passionate kiss like spider web - soon lead to undoing of fly." "Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!" "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ." "Man who walk through airport turnstile backwards going to Bangkok." "Man who do business in whorehouse get jerked around." "Baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk!" "Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it." "War not determine who right. War determine who left." "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse." "Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!" "It take many nail to build crib, but one screw to fill it." "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!" "Man who live in glass house should change in basement." "Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with solution in hand" "Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant_Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 An American black dude was driving his Cadillac in Mexico and pulled into a station for gas. There was a Mexican boy sitting on a fruit crate peeling an apple. The black dude got impatient. "Hey, how about pumping me some mother fucking gas?" The kid said "Senor, we don't like that word 'mother fucker' in this country.", and kept on peeling his apple. The dude said, "Hey, I said I need some mother fucking gas!" The kid said, "Senor, I done told you, we don't like that word 'mother fucker' here." The dude said "You gonna pump me some mother fucking gas or am I gonna have to pump it my self." The kid said "Senor, I must show you something." He tossed the apple into the air, cut it into 16 pieces and caught all 16. The dude said "You gots another mother fucking apple?" The kid said "Si" and tossed up another apple. The dude pulled out his .45 and made applesauce out of it. The kid said "How many mother fucking gallons do you think she'll hold, Senor?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorNumnuts Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Peedo jokes Peodophile walks into the forest with a young girl young girl says to peadophile "it's awfully dark in hear" Peodophile replys "think about me i've got to walk out of here alone!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant_Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Makros is an offensive joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bufme1 Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: >> >>1 bar of soap >>1 toothbrush >>1 tube of toothpaste >>1 loaf of bread >>1 pint of milk >>1 apple >>1 banana >>1 orange >>1 peach >>1 plum >>1 tomato >>1 lettuce >>1 cabbage >>1 potato >>1 museli bar >>1 pie >>1 box of cereal >>1 frozen dinner >>1 single frozen pizza >> >>The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says "Single, huh?" >> >>The girl smiles sheepishly and replies, "How did you guess?" >> >>The checkout guy replies: "Cause you're ugly." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¹º¹º¹¹º¹¹¹º¹ Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 no no seriously folks.. a seal walks into a club Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Methodz Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 How do you get 100 black men into a BMW? Throw in a welfare cheque. How do you get 100 black men out of a BMW? Throw in a job application. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 why are there no indians in the jetsons? they dont work in the future either. what do the flintstones call black people? niggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 Originally posted by T.T Boy what do the flintstones call black people? niggers. haha, what the fuck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swif1 Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 how does the male morning-after pill work? it changes your blood type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 Originally posted by bufme1 A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: >> >>1 bar of soap >>1 toothbrush >>1 tube of toothpaste >>1 loaf of bread >>1 pint of milk >>1 apple >>1 banana >>1 orange >>1 peach >>1 plum >>1 tomato >>1 lettuce >>1 cabbage >>1 potato >>1 museli bar >>1 pie >>1 box of cereal >>1 frozen dinner >>1 single frozen pizza >> >>The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says "Single, huh?" >> >>The girl smiles sheepishly and replies, "How did you guess?" >> >>The checkout guy replies: "Cause you're ugly." made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 http://www.beckysdi.com/main/graphics/pictures/jungle.jpg'> "Darrrrr" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 Originally posted by R. Heydrich Oh my, how offensive. har har. Ok here's a joke... Q. What's the difference between a New Jersey girl and a trash can? A. The trash can gets taken out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bufme1 Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 http://www.foctor.screaming.net/funnypics/real/A000005.jpg'> http://www.foctor.screaming.net/funnypics/real/A000003.jpg'> http://www.foctor.screaming.net/funnypics/real/bigpipe.jpg'> http://www.foctor.screaming.net/funnypics/celebs/ifmated.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mescaline Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 what does snoop dogg clean his kitchen with? Bleeotch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepAnDream Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 how do you know when its bedtime at a catholic church? when the big hand touches the little hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bufme1 Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 A Chicagoan, a Mexican and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer. The Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same one twice" The Iraqi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Iraq we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice, either" The Native, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi and says "In Chicago we have so many Mexicans and Iraqis that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 A chinese huy goes to his eye doctor. After some tests the doctor comes to him and says " you have a cataract" To which the Chinese guy responds "no I drive a Wincoln Continental" -Stolen from the Sapronos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldenglish Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 your mom bitch............. its a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brooksmatic Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 What's the difference between a black man and a piece of dog shit? One turns white and stops stinking after a few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 there was a time when this was a popular thread....there was a time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 Originally posted by Zee_Zee whats the difference between a jew and a pizza pizza's dont scream when you put them in the oven How many jews can you fit in a car 5 in the seats. 5 million in the ashtray who was the greatest jewish cook to ever live hitler those were funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 I was at a party once and some kids tried to make fun of my groups hip hop ways - the kids whose party it was...non-the-less I went up to him and I was like "since you obviously can't rap you must be about to snap, you gotta good mama joke in there?" He responded with one of the Jewish jokes listed. I than asked him: What do you call a white kid from the suburbs who makes fun of Jews? A racist bitch! ...his friends didn't want to step so I entered the house and drank from the keg for free...everyone else had to pay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrpresident Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 hthhahahaha goog one dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Æ° Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today? Screaming and clawing at the inside of the coffin. *This works well with anyone that's dead. Change the name to adapt to your current situation. I should have said 2-Pac or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidSilver Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 How do you get a nigger to wear a condom? Put a Nike logo on it. Whats the difference between George Michael and a microwave? You cant brown your meat in a microwave. Why are Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder always smiling? They dont know they're black. How do you practice cunnilingus on a black woman. Suck warm mayonaise through steel wool. Why is there cotton in bottles of Pills? To remind niggers they were cotton pickers before drug dealers. What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 18 indians? Bartender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. http://www.jokes2000.com/pics/illustrations/9944.gif'> Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.