rental Posted February 10, 2002 Share Posted February 10, 2002 Q: What's the difference between love and herpes? A: Herpes lasts forever Q: Which of the following does not belong: AIDS, gonorrhea, herpes, or Bill Clinton? A: Gonorrhea -- it can be cured. Q: Why is Michael Irvin (Dallas Cowboys) like herpes? A: He's embarrassing, goes away for weeks but then comes back, and responds well to drugs. Q: Why did the dumb blonde name her dog Herpes A: Because it wouldn't heel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted February 10, 2002 Share Posted February 10, 2002 i dont know if this really goes with the subject but i thought it was funny LITTLE TOMMY'S DEAD FROG One day, little Tommy wanders into the local brothel, dragging a dead frog on a piece of string along behind him (Thud thud thud etc.) He goes up to the woman at the front and says "Please, Miss, I'd like a girl please." "Go home, sonny" replies the proprietor, not unkindly, "you're too young yet for this." Tommy reaches into his pocket and drags out a $100 bill which he slaps on the desk and beams brightly. "Up the stairs, 3rd door on the right" comes the reply as the $100 vanishes.Tommy starts to climb the stairs, (Thud thud etc.) when he runs back again. "I forgot, this girl has got to have active herpes!" he cries. "No way kid, all our girls are clean!" Tommy reaches into the other pocket and another $100 appears. "Ahh, last door on the left..." he is told.Tommy climbs the stairs, still dragging the dead frog on the string (thud thud thud), and some time later reappears. He waves to the woman at the front desk and is about to go out (with frog) when she calls him back. "I can understand curiosity at your age," she says, "but why the active herpes?""Well," says Tommy, "when I go home, the babysitter will be there. I'll screw her before she goes home and she'll get the herpes. Later on, dad'll take her home and have her in the back of the Mercedes, and he'll get the herpes. Later on, he'll get back and jump on mummy and she will get the herpes too. In the morning, daddy'll go to work, the milkman will come and get in bed with mummy and he'll get the herpes and HE'S THE BASTARD WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted February 10, 2002 Share Posted February 10, 2002 A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods at night. The little boy turns to the pedophile and says, "Gee, mister, these woods sure are dark and scary tonight..." The pedophile turns down to the little boy and replies, "You think YOU'RE scared... I gotta walk out of here alone." soooo wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceasroni Posted February 10, 2002 Share Posted February 10, 2002 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted February 11, 2002 Author Share Posted February 11, 2002 how do you keep a black out of your backyard? hang one in the front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyeBddub Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 Q: whats the best thing about fucking a 5 year old? A: hearing its hips crack Q: whats the worst thing about fucking a five year old? A: cleaning all the blood out of your clown costume Q: why do you wrap a gerbal in electrical tape? A: so it doesn't explode when you fuck it Q: what does a 300 lb gerbal do for fun? A: sticks gay people up ITS ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?? Slap the bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted February 11, 2002 Author Share Posted February 11, 2002 how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? give the bitch a shovel.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SayOne Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 some of this shit is just too funny :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 ok, this one is bad, im evil..im sorry... If this super offends anyone just say so and ill take it off.. Whats black blue orange and green and sittin on my front porch? my negro and ill paint em any color i like.. sorry... :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted February 11, 2002 Author Share Posted February 11, 2002 this is more of an occurance then a joke but yesterday i was cooling out with a couple of my boys one whom is half jewish..he had a woodstove and my boy opened the door to it and said to my jewish cat.."hop in" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bruno Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 whats the difference between a homo and a hobo? a hobo doesnt have any friends and a homo has friends up the ass. how do you make a dead baby float? two scoops vanilla and one scoop dead baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdork Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 Whats the definition of confusion? Fathers day in Oakland. What do elephants use as tampons? Sheep A black and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? A cop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 Originally posted by Dharma Bum A black and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? A cop haha :lol: p.s i love the name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest catwash Posted February 11, 2002 Share Posted February 11, 2002 How do you make a little girl cry twice? Wipe the blood from your cock on her teddy bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted February 12, 2002 Author Share Posted February 12, 2002 a little girl is in the shower with her mother and she points to her mothers pussy and says, mom whats that? she says thats my vagina..you have one but it will develop as you get older..the little girl then points to her moms tits and asks..mom what are those? she says these are my breasts..you have them but they'll get larger as you grow older..she gets out of the shower and hops back in with her father..the little girl points to her pops dick and says..daddy whats that? he says, thats my penis..the girl says when will i get one? her father then says, in about 10 minutes when your mother goes to the store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 Originally posted by graffsurgeon in about 10 minutes when your mother goes to the store. damn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EL MASKO Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby, and baby skin shoes? A: About a half an hour. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a box of tissues? A: A box of tissues doesn't scream when you staple its feet the the wall. Q: What's black, blue, and red all over? A: A dead baby. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted February 12, 2002 Author Share Posted February 12, 2002 there are some good one's in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mosluggo Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? maneuvering around the wheel chair- what do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? a quarter pounder with cheese-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eon135 Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 does anyone know...? these ones whats the definition of pain? sliding down a giant razor blade using your balls as brakes whats the definition of disgusting? an old tramp sucking diarhhea through a sweaty sock those were from memory my old man used to tell me them anyone know any more "definiton" jokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KASTsystem Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 What the definition of gross ? Dreaming you're eating chocolate pudding and waking up with a spoon up your ass. What's grosser than gross? Fucking a pregnant lady and the fetus gives you head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dusty Lipschitz Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 shit im a sick fuck laughin out loud... so this guy and his girlfriend get into a fight. she's packing up to leave and yells at him: "You are a fucking asshole. You are a fucking pedophile." So the guy snaps back: "You know thats a pretty long word for a 12 year old." i have more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BROWNer Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 haha... this might have been said already...but.... what did the pedophile say after he got out of jail? i feel like a kid again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bruno Posted February 12, 2002 Share Posted February 12, 2002 double punchline... so there once was this guy with no arms and no legs. and he came upon his childhood church one day and decided to talk to the priest. "all ive ever wanted to do since i was a little boy is ring the bell in the bell tower on sundays," he told the priest. so the priest told him "sure why not." so every sunday this guy with no arms or legs would get up in the bell tower and roll end over end towards the bell and hit it with his head to ring it. he did this every sunday for years and years, when one sunday he missed the bell and fell out of the tower to his death. when the police showed up they asked the priest who this guy was and the priest replied, "i dont know but his face sure does ring a bell." so one year to the day later the dead guys brother shows up at the church and tell the priest that he wants to ring the bell on sundays in honor of his dead brother. so the priest allows him to. for years and years he rang the bell every sunday, untill one sunday when he slipped and fell out of the tower to his death. when the police arrived they asked the priest who this guy was. the priest replied "i dont know but he sure is a dead ringer for his brother." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kookone Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 What has two legs and bleeds a hell of a lot? Half a cat!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 Q:What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?? A:Juan on Juan Q:What do you call four black guys in a car?? A:Tinted windows Q:What are the first words a Mexican hears in the US? A:"Attention K-Mart shoppers" Q:What do you call two black guys in a sleeping bag? A:TWIX! Q:Why are black people's palms white? A:Because their hands were facing the wall when Jesus was spray painting them black. Q:How do you blindfold a Chinese guy? A:With dental floss Q:What do you call a thousand black guys falling from the sky? A:night Q:What do you call a bunch of black guys on a ship? A:Chips ahoy! Q:What's the difference between a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky? A:The vending machine says "insert Bill here" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted February 13, 2002 Author Share Posted February 13, 2002 this thread has been very helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 If god invented the top half of a women, who invented the bottom half? A black person of course, it has big lips, kinky hair, and smells like fish.. (can't get much more offencive then that one!) Colt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt Posted February 13, 2002 Share Posted February 13, 2002 What do you call a women with two brain cells? Pregnant What do you call a women who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced Why do men fart more then women? Women can't shut up long enough to build pressure Three blondes are stranded on a desert island, and their fairy godmother appears to grant them each a wish. The first wishes for some intelligence so she can get home. Zap! the fairy godmother turns her brunette and she learns how to swim home. The second sees this and asks for more intelligence then the first. ZaP! the fairy godmother turns her hair black and she learns how to build a raft and sails home. The third asks for EVEN MORE intelligence, and ZING! the fairy godmother turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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