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offensive jokes..


graffsurgeon

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whats the motto of the jewish football team?

 

get that quarterback.

 

how do you stop a black man from drowning?

 

take your foot off his head.

 

how do you fit 10000 jews into a volkswaon beetle?

 

2 in the front 2 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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whats black and bubbly and taps on the galss every 10 seconds?

a baby in the microwave

 

 

How do you get 10 babies into a tupperware container?

blender

 

How do you get them out?

tostito's

 

 

whats the proper gift for a dead baby?

a dead puppy

 

 

Whats pink slimey and tries to crawl up your leg?

a homesick abortion

 

 

why does the husband always boil water when his wife is giving birth?

if its stillborn he can make soup

 

I babysat for 9 hours today

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jokes uve probably heard

 

1.what did the redneck see when he looked at his family tree?

a straight line

2.what do you see after you see a white guyw ith no m oney?-a black guy running

3.theres a guy whos in a bar then he leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Polish joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm Polish. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's Polish. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's Polish. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."

4.What is the most confusing holiday in the African American community?

Father's Day

5.How do you kill a redneck?

Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.

6.: What's the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity?

Get off of me Dad, you're crushing my cigarettes.

7.what do you see after you see a white guyw ith no m oney?-a black guy running

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a white, black, and a jew get in a horrible car accident and they all go up to heavens gates..when they get there st peter says that he took them earlier then their time so if he they all give him 20 bucks he'll send them back down to earth..

the white guy gives him the 20 dollars and wakes up right when the paramedics are pronouncing him dead..they're all amazed how hes alive and he tells them the story about st peter..then they ask where the black and jew are..he says well the jew is trying to talk him down to $14.99 and the black is waiting for the government to pay for it.

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Guest HELLSATAN

How many babies does it take to paint a wall ?

 

 

one, if you throw it hard enough

 

 

whats the difference between a preist and a zit ?

 

a zit waits till your 12 to cum on your face

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What's the difference between a cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

 

 

 

 

I don't have a cadillac in my garage.

 

What do you get when you cut a baby with a razorblade?

 

 

 

 

 

An erection

 

 

hahaha

someone else posted those on here a long time ago

 

hahaha

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Originally posted by pacman

What's the difference between a cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

 

 

 

 

I don't have a cadillac in my garage.

 

What do you get when you cut a baby with a razorblade?

 

 

 

 

 

An erection

 

 

hahaha

someone else posted those on here a long time ago

 

hahaha

 

 

that would be me

 

Q: why didn't superman save the world trade centers?

A: he's in a fucking wheel chair

 

Q: what is christopher reeves next superman movie called?

A: superman gets a good parking spot

 

Q: what does superman eat for breakfast?

A: kryptonite but the fucking looks of him

 

Q: whats black and charred and sitting at the top of a stair case?

A: superman in a house fire

 

Q: what do blacks and apples have in common?

A: both look the best when hanging from tree's

 

Q: why do pedophiles love halloween?

A: free delivery

 

i know a lot ... so if you want more

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A Black, A indian and a jew go to a bordello where you pay a dollar per the inch. The black dude go's in gets his buisness done come and and the jew and indian ask " How much did u have to pay" wich he reply's 8 dollars.

The indian go's in does his buisness and is greeted with the same question. "9 dollars he says." Finally the jew go's in does his buisness come out and is asked the same question. "2 dollars" he replys. The indian and black start laughing histrically till he replys " i paid on the way out."

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someone on my aim list had this as their away message....

 

There was a Jap, a Mexican, and an American standing over a bridge. They came to throw something over the bridge that they had too much of...The Japanese man threw over some rice, the Mexican threw over some beans, and the American threw over the Mexican.

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Originally posted by T.T Boy

 

whats long and hard on a black man?

 

teh third grade.

 

 

what's long hard and on a white guy?

nothin.

 

why doesnt mexico ever win the olympics?

if they could run or swim, they'd be in the u.s.

 

what's another name for the million man march?

world's longest unemployment line.

 

an asian was at the optomotrist (sp?), and the dr. said 'you have a catterac' (sp?)

the asian says 'no i dont.. i drive a rincorn.

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whats better than winning the special olympics?

 

walking

 

 

what do you call a homeless guy on a bike?

thief

 

Now for some truly terrible jokes:

 

Whats better than nailing a baby to a tree?

Ripping it off

 

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face

 

How do you make a baby cry twice?

Wipe your bloody dick on its teddy bear

 

Why don't women know how to ski?

No snow between bedroom and kitchen

 

Why don't women wear watches?

There's a clock on the stove

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