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Its hard finding what you want, when you dont know what youre looking for.


T.T Boy

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Maybe its just me, but i always feel like im missing something in my life, im not sure what it is whatsoever, but i know its not there whatever its supposed to be. does anyone get that feeling? or is this just me? i have the constant feeling something is missing, and it leaves me feeling empty all the time. when am i going to find this? what is it going to be? how will i know what it is? and if i do find it where will i go from there? also, a certain someone should pick up the phone and call me whenever they can, no matter the time difference.

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I know what you mean,TT....shit....for some reason I have had a "calling" to go to the east coast-why?..I don't know...maybe there is a girl I am supposed to meet or something or somebody I need to help...fuck,I don't know....one thing I do know is that I'm shitfaced right now....God,I love alcholic beverages.

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Guest willy.wonka

sorry i got caught up in south park tonight...

 

but yes..i have that missing thing..that void i cant explain..i used to try to fill it with all sorts of things,drugs,money,girls,toys,art[my art helps],church,,,everything....

 

my only answer could be that,the void inside of you is YOU.its not even empty....its you,its me,its her,its him....

 

the only thing wrong is..i feel what ever human sickness that it may be,it keeps me from exploding with energy....

when i sit and think about it,its true.i constantly do not do what i want to do....and that has been the phrase that i keep hearing...

"do what i want to do"...

 

my friend"who is a worthless tweaked out bitch",but he has enegy..

comes to me and claims he wants to quit drugs...i wish i could save him,but its on him...he has the energy,but he doesnt want to look at himself and pull that part out of him.i dont hold anything back from him..i tell him shit like it is..stuff like this."give me a fuckin camera and let me walk through this house and video tape as i go...your home is a perfect example of how a tweaker lives.." it hurts his feeling,but hey...

 

he saw that potential energy inside of him plenty of times,but denies himself..it pisses me off..but i try not to care and when i dont care i scare this certain group of friends i have,because i love them and they love me,but there is too much for me to handle when im with them,so i'll kick back with my other homies....

i hold shit down for them...i know this about me and my bestfriend JOFUS,tells me this all the time....he has natural energy flowing through him,but like me...i can be too hard to handle....and he lives with these guys...they're all good people,but i feel like im being sucked in by this mess and the only thing i can do is infect it with energy.....i am an explosion that sets of the other exposions and so on snd so on.....my tweaker friend is planning to leave to detroit to cleanse himself,but i think its all a lie.his whole history over there has been,crack cocain..

 

shit man,im sorry im typing so much...but do you see...yah seen?

that void in you is you..bla bla bla..suck to be me sometimes,but i love life and hold on to what i know is true.

 

we're all the same my friend..

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Guest willy.wonka
Originally posted by ASER1NE

dood, i hope you arent implying that there is something wrong with church

i love GOD......church is in me homie,thy temple...i have been to a lot of churches and they seem more interested in some wierd collective and want money when im dead broke....i know a lot of human behavior and i know there were Godly people there,i know God was there,but i started to see the same style that hypnotists use on thier crowds...i like to reason with them,but things i say just dont apply,they here it,but they dont listen...

i see a lot of spiritual activity and sometimes fight them.i have found a secret about humans that few people really know.....when i moved to san francisco i met 3 other peole that full on have the same story as i do about they way they found this secret....all 3 of them were sober when it happened,me i was on drugs.for shame,but im doing so good right now it hurts other people...

 

thats why i liked reading what 455 said about supposed to meet people or help people....that is my true job on this planet..its natural to me...i do it well,but sometimes my energy runs low and i somehow find myself back in my homeland and find most of my friends hooked on drugs..my homie JOFUS quit....

but church just confused me....i liked having little "bible studies" but with me it turns to reasoning..i'll talk and they'll check thier bibles..some people do have remarkable stories and i feel God...but organized religion?$$$$$$$$ bibles for $30.00....

there is good churches out there,but i think i have only been to one.

ask GINGERBREAD MAN....i saw a church unlike i have ever seen or felt..it was good.:idea:

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I feel the same way. It's like, there's gotta be more to life than going to school and getting a job, and having a family, and a dog, and a white picket fence. I should move to like Africa or something and live with a tribe, where money and jobs and everything doesn't matter, they live life how it was meant to be led....

 

 

And if I'm the one you're talking about....hmmmmm, maybe I'll let you sweat for a while:D

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Yeah, I have that same emptyness inside. I love and appreciate life, but then sometimes I'll just get all down on myself cause there is a void. Something in my life is missing. True happiness, love, peace of mind, self gratitude.. I don't know, maybe a combination of all that and more.

 

I feel what Dr. Dazzle is saying, there's got to be more than money, white picket fence's and status.

I don't care about status object's like a Mercedes or fur coat or listening to the cool music. I know there is nothing there that can fill my void, I just stick with the things that I enjoy, even if sometimes they are the things that bring me down. (I'm not sure that made sense..shutting up now)

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