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The landlord/manager's special.


Dirty_habiT
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This meme the other day reminded me of all the stuff I've seen in the duplex I live in. 
 

54608BA1-A0EE-4B0F-952F-B7FAD25D0218.jpeg

 

This exchange was initiated by the property manager. He's been a real "genius" on many occasions. 
 

5814FFB4-4646-44AD-8699-7FB16CEC6D18.jpeg

 

To which I replied telling him that there is no water service, thinking that he would understand there is no way to drip faucets right now. 
 

DC851249-A0C4-4FC0-B087-EE8C2FC19CCF.jpeg

 

Then he forgets how homonyms work and provides a patronizing reply to me that sounds like he didn't read what I said or understand it at all. 
 

22308EDF-F5C2-4217-BD69-51B638846323.jpeg

 

This dude seriously is special olympics. I'll add some more stuff as I get time to photograph it. 
 

Do any of you have any landlord or rental manager "specials" to talk about?

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I'm past apartment living but did it for a long time and in a lot of places.  Most of my landlords qualified as special, never mind their work.  I lived in one place that used to be a tenement and was somehow still standing.  Shitty paint jobs would have been more than welcome if that was the worst thing there 😱

 

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Wish I had some pics

 

used to live in apt that had these outlet blank offs in random spots on the walls. Not around ground level where an outlet would be, but like midway up a random wall, or like 18’ below the ceiling. Never opened one up to see what the deal was. Just figured they used them to cover up holes in the walls where they were fishing wires through or something. 
 

 

91709459-969C-4732-ABDF-FA13EFB4DE90.jpeg
 

 

 

edit-

 

almost forgot! Same place had a random small ass skylight in a very odd spot between the living room and kitchen. Pop corn ceiling to the left and right of it scraped away in a straight line. Figured there was a roof leak that instead of correcting they just bored out and installed this small odd skylight and then scraped away the popcorn on the ceiling to hide the water damage. Skylight was about a 10’ circle. 

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Me and the homie once had a landlord try and take the majority of our rental deposit by claiming that a company had to do repairs after we left. Repairs that were issues when we moved in.

 

All you had to do was google the company and a blank invoice came up. 

 

The homie took them to small claims court - I wasn’t willing to go through the hassle and told him he could keep the bread he got back.

 

This was over 10 years ago - 2 bedroom in SF was $1666

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I had one apartment on a 3rd floor that by law had to have a fire escape/exit.  We were told it was this trap door in the floor near our kitchen, that it went to a staircase to the 1st floor in event of emergency.  When we finally decided to inspect it, it was a decrepit staircase down to a door to the 2nd floor that was blocked on the other side by a bookshelf.  I had made the mistake of living with a friend who turned out to maybe be an ok friend, but a horrible roommate.  We used the fire exit as an excuse to break leaase and go our own ways, left the keys in the landlord's mailbox with a note about the illegal exit.  

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My last land lord was mr fixit. Mister skirt the law. Mr hire some junkies off craigslist. I gave him a bunch of pain killers once and he took it off the rent.

 

There was a time he hired some primo crack smokers to cut some tree branches from a big ass tree out front. Three of them showed up. Two little guys and one big fat guy. So they sent the 300lb dude up the later while the 2 little guys held the bottom. The fat guy fell off the top of the ladder and blasted his head open on the side walk. There was blood staining the sidewalk for a while after that. The landlord came over complaining about how the tree guys were suing him and some one else was suing him for lead poisoning their kid and the people that lived in the converted garage on our property was suing him because the ac unit fell out of the window, hit the roof below it and made part of the ceiling cave in on grandma.

 

Lol. I cant believe I lived there for 7 years. I have more all from this place. I'll post later.

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the first apartment(i've had three total) had the paint job like the one in the picture and was fucking freezing in the winter. oldest neighborhood of the city. the basement looked like a dungeon.

 

just for the heck of it i went and google mapped it. lol. downstairs apartment, inside that cracked front door there....2005-2008. memories.

hg.png

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I have pictures of fuck ups laying around I’m too lazy to dig up. Great thread for reflection though. Can’t remember how to get in the special adult oontz chamber but there is some real estate talk there from what I remember. There comes a time in some folks life where they wake up and decide fuck being the guy who always pays the other guy rent. I set out with plans to be the mf collecting a couple years ago and I’m getting closer. I solemnly swear to all my future tenants to not be shit lol. It’s fuckin unbelievable how many fucks the majority of landolords give. I knew a guy back in Boston who had literal mushrooms growing from ceiling stained water damage. Landlord still comin round dudes door knockin talkin bout some wheredarent at tho?! Smfh Lolol. 

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I’ll have to think on some stories, but i moved into a friends apartment on a sublease for a few months because some girl was moving in with her man and rented me the room. At theend of the lease everyone in the house was planning to move out. The last month this meathead looking white dude shows up to “collect last month” claiming he was the landlord’s brother, and that we never paid. My friend states that in order to move in we paid first, last, and security. He says “well the way we do it is you still pay the last month, and then we reimburse you when you move out.” To which i thought, “bull, fucking, shit,” and decided i need tk join this conversation because at that point i was still in my room and overheard it. 
 

This dude helps himself into the apartment and was now roaming around, clearly trying to intimidate. My 2 room mates were Asian, and one of them spoke broken English. The dude sees me walk out and his whole demeanor changed. My friend calls the landlord and is talking to him and the guy starts mumbling some shit and i just looked at him and said “..you’re not getting paid.”


The landlord eventually said there must have been a misunderstanding and maybe he went to the wrong tenants house, as they owned multiple properties, and that we’re paid up. I snuck in the comment that i grew up with the landlords nieces and nephews and that i knew who he was, which was true.
 

Pretty sure they just assumed a few Asian women who barely spoke English lived there and they were going to strong arm a little extra cash. Needless to say, they didn’t get jack shit. 

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Memories coming back to me reading this thread.  The landlord of the former tenement was named Jack and it was fitting that several of us referred to him as Jackass.  All the apartments had front and back porches which was actually kind of nice.  But- it was all the original wood construction, maybe paint slapped over parts now & again, but nothing really in terms of structural repair.  The whole thing was being bored through slowly over time by carpenter bees and while I did enjoy chilling there I can't say there was ever a time I did without the thought in my head that that shit was going to collapse.  Dude never did shit to repair any of it and eventually I moved out.  A little while after that a kid went right through a railing on the 3rd floor.  By some miracle he was hurt, but not all that bad for what had just happened.  Ol Jack repaired the rail, but never upgraded anything else.  One day those porches are going to collapse down on each other, not an uncommon story around me.

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My first spot in SF was like 5 blocks from SFSU campus....close to a liquor store, cannabis club and a few good freeway/muni spots.

 

In this place the fucking plumbing would run - we let the landlord know about it. Dude didn’t do shit for a few months.....probably an easy fix but we didn’t know shit at that point in the game. Water bill came for like $1000 - we ended up deducting it from the rent since he didn’t do shit about it when he was notified.

 

We had only the top story - 3 bedrooms.

 

Edited by fat ralphy
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The lady that lived downstairs from me called me one day screaming that her ceiling in her kitchen was caved in and there were mushrooms growing out of her wall. I started laughing and went down stairs to check it out. So Nuff there was a giant slab of plaster still attached to wood lath that came down, smashing through her little breakfast table. The mushrooms in her wall just turned out to be effervescing plaster. 

 

So I told her I'll call rich and get him over here to figure out what he's gonna do. He finally shows up around 830 pm. He comes straight up stairs to my place and he's like "its probably your sink plumbing," without missing a beat. 

 

This dude was notorious for scavenging used parts from his other houses to do repairs at other properties. So I asked him if he repaired my sink at some point with used parts, knowing that at this point I had already lived here for about 5 years and the only time he came inside was to get the rent. 

 

So me and rich climb through this little access door in the eaves to get access to behind my sink. When we get back there, the fernco looks like it was installed dry rotted about 10 years ago and was for sure the culprit. When we crawl back out I says to rich, I says "at least it only like a $3 part." Rich looks at me and says "yeah. I think I got one at another house I can go grab." 

 

We both started laughing but we both knew he was serious. He stepped outside to go run and scavenge this repair part. He was gone for about 20 seconds before he came back in and said "actually man, I was on my way outta town and Im running late. Do you just have some tin foil I could borrow?" 

 

The dude wrapped the shit up with foil and disappeared for a few weeks letting the shit rain dirty dish water on the lady below for about 20 days. He eventually had me patch the ceiling below and took it off my rent.

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  • 1 month later...
On 2/18/2021 at 12:51 PM, KILZ FILLZ said:

Wish I had some pics

 

used to live in apt that had these outlet blank offs in random spots on the walls. Not around ground level where an outlet would be, but like midway up a random wall, or like 18’ below the ceiling. Never opened one up to see what the deal was. Just figured they used them to cover up holes in the walls where they were fishing wires through or something. 
 

 

91709459-969C-4732-ABDF-FA13EFB4DE90.jpeg
 

 

 

edit-

 

almost forgot! Same place had a random small ass skylight in a very odd spot between the living room and kitchen. Pop corn ceiling to the left and right of it scraped away in a straight line. Figured there was a roof leak that instead of correcting they just bored out and installed this small odd skylight and then scraped away the popcorn on the ceiling to hide the water damage. Skylight was about a 10’ circle. 


 

dead light switches (ADA compliance by lowering for wheelchairs???)

 

skylight to hide odd water damage / crack in ceiling shaved away??

 

 

85349A13-2C5A-41F5-9C48-9A782F4938CD.jpeg
 

 

12274550-9D2A-4E55-859C-FB4155065AC0.jpeg

 

 

C002176D-D278-4BC2-B8AE-20B4A88AAB5B.jpeg
 

 

821A7FFA-CA01-48F9-9BCF-393CED4D8D25.thumb.jpeg.ab65fa48f3d3b029b5c2869004454ac9.jpeg

 

 

5CD72E4F-662E-494E-87B5-B62D2B99CDBE.thumb.jpeg.99588372bd243af64b643a464890aec9.jpeg

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Managers special at one of my brothers apartment complexes. It's not like they couldn't do a good paint job either. There were plenty of buildings that looked legit with new paint. I have no clue what happened here though. 

D3D4CA5B-0135-445C-B439-1EDE90CC56FF.jpeg

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Lol. That was 1 of 2 things. The painter got fired in the middle of the day or the paint contractor was having problems getting paid for work already completed. Ive left plenty of jobs looking like that.

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We lived in a split duplex in west oakland once. Front and back. We were chill with the people in back, partied together a lot. A few of y'all actually came to a party there once or twice.

Towards the end of our time there, our windows started to leak a bit, but primarily in the backside apartment. We both email the landlord and ask him to do somethin about it. His response was to put THE LARGEST TARP I HAVE EVER SEEN over 3/4s of the entire building. This was a converted victorian, 2 story 2 apartment building. To this day I've never seen a larger tarp. There's photos floating around somewhere, I'll find em.

The poor folks in the back apartment had every single window covered in blue tarp. They lived in this blue haze for months. We all eventually moved out, but by the time we were leaving, there were actual mushrooms growing through the walls. I took photos for them, and a few things that were going on in our side of the house too.

Naturally the management company/landlord tried to keep the whole deposit on both apartments. Saying we left it trashed. They also didn't show up for the walk through. I took extensive photos of the cleaned apartment just in case this happened. I borrowed a family friend's legal letter head, and sent a strongly worded letter including a link to the photos I had collected over the last two years.

Got our full deposit, and helped the back neighbors get their full deposit back as well.

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30 minutes ago, the.crooked said:

Naturally the management company/landlord tried to keep the whole deposit on both apartments. Saying we left it trashed. They also didn't show up for the walk through. I took extensive photos of the cleaned apartment just in case this happened. I borrowed a family friend's legal letter head, and sent a strongly worded letter including a link to the photos I had collected over the last two years.  Got our full deposit, and helped the back neighbors get their full deposit back as well.

 

Would prop twice if I could.

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