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Moe Szyslak

got that snip snip

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Ive been planning on getting a vasectomy for a couple years. Finally i got up the money to put my plan into action. I went to the Dr. yesterday and got fixed. It wasnt painful at all and only took like 20 mins. So yea, its supposed to take 100% effect in 6 weeks and 15 ejacks. So long parenthood!!

Ps any of yall 12oz ladies in texas like to slide thru my dms, you'd be more than welcome.

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I got snipped 6 1/2 years ago. I randomly chose a Thursday in March, figuring I’d get a 4 day weekend out of it. (I have a boy & a girl = done.)
 

I logged onto a sports message board and there was a thread labeled “Happy Vasectomy Day” - I didn’t realize I chose day one of March Madness, DERP. All basketball, DVDs, painkillers (I wasn’t in pain) & reefer madness in bed; I milked it making the wifey run the household.
 

I forgot to ask how long to wait until I could 🥜- I think I waited 7-10 days then busted the biggest 💦 ever.
 

For those not in the know, you have to wear tighty-whities for a couple weeks after the snip. I’m totally off boxers now and back on briefs permanently, they’re like sports bras for balls 🏀.

 

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did it a few years ago. was less painful than getting accidentally hit in the balls. easy recovery. just followed doctors orders.

got two kids. don't need/want anymore. 

 

by far one of the easiest things to ever do. 15-20 min from walking in the door. 

10/10 would do it again.

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Got mine 3 ish years ago. Ate pain pills on the couch and played super nintendo for a couple days.

 

My first loads (like a week later) had blood in them, it was fucking metal as fuck. 

 

I have had some of the issues they warn you about--intermittent minor pain in my balls that shows up for a few seconds out of nowhere. But still, 100% no hesitation would do it again. My wife also likes that she doesn't have to be on bc of any sort.

 

 

 

I had tried to get a vasectomy when I was still in the Army, but they said I was a bad candidate because "I didn't have any kids, yet." I told them that was the point. 

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1 hour ago, misteraven said:

Wife brought it up once.
 

I was like hell fuckin no. 

 

End of story. 

I’m reading the rest of these comments like wth brothers 😟

 

 

At least one of you survived the purge jfc

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I've been wanting to get a vasectomy for awhile, haven't nutted up though.

 

What is ya'lls experiences as far as libido? Any noticeable changes in your ejaculate?

 

best use of a vasectomy in my eyes is busting in that shit without her having to take BC and not having to worry about taking care of some POS for 20 something years.

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Nothing really changes, your testicles still produce sperm, it just doesn’t shoot out with the semen - which remains the same, but hazy in color versus filled with swimmers.
 

Plus the added bonus of no condoms, and your girl isn’t as bat shit crazy as she is on BC.

Edited by Drue_Down
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1 minute ago, iloveboxcars said:

^oh ok cool.

 

I have never once used condoms in my life.

 

Pull out game strong AF.

Ooof, lucky. My bud going thru it rn. He thought his was too, the sket calls him 4 months later saying shes having his kid

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Very nice, paternity test time!!

 

I think if you live a "decorated" sex life ( @Fist 666- looking at you lol 😉 ) it's probably best to still use condoms.  Who really..... in all honesty requires the "clean bill of sale" on that pussy before hitting it drunk?  I have never not once ever in my life heard of someone saying oh, i just got tested last week and they said I'm clean, and you're the first person I will have slept with since then..... also, you're clean right and have gotten tested too .... right..... rightt????

 

I'd take the accidental kid over AIDS no question asked..

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My sex drive is honestly as high or higher than it's ever been which is not the same for my wife, may start another thread on where my heads at there (poly/swinger)...

 

But @Dirty_habiTi am a firm believer in condoms outside of committed relationships.  I'm as scared of herpes or worse as I am a kid. Only a couple times have I fucked someone new without one, and I was younger and dumber then. But getting head has always been a gamble...

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At this point I would definitely use a condom, but back in the day I was invincible bruh. Been with my wife for 10 years or some shit.

 

Also, I have never chased women the way other dudes chase them, so I never went around with condoms. All the pussy I've ever gotten has fallen into my lap.

 

Still no std's though. Thanks god *points up emoji*

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SMFH, to each their own, but you's all just signed away your testosterone.
It's all about the IUD. Your chick gets her cervix pugged, and it's creampie heaven after that. No hormonal bullshit, no loss of testosterone on your part, no nothing. Just creampie heaven. yall fucked up. 

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I can’t tell if this is starting to feel like the old 12oz or if we’re actually in uncharted territory. 

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Where in tf you at @SQUIRRELall the boys seem to have had a halfway decent experience with this male neutering. If i remember correctly, you most certainly did not i know it affects everybody differently though. I’ve considered it on multiple occasions but it would without a doubt be a terrible choice at this point cause my chick of 4 years is on that baby train.....Would be destruction.

 

 

8 hours ago, Kults said:

Ooof, lucky. My bud going thru it rn. He thought his was too, the sket calls him 4 months later saying shes having his kid

Happened. Sucked balls but I just turned 30 a couple weeks before the news just rolled wit’it mane. 

 

15 hours ago, Fist 666 said:

Got mine 3 ish years ago. Ate pain pills on the couch and played super nintendo for a couple days.

 

My first loads (like a week later) had blood in them, it was fucking metal as fuck. 

 

I have had some of the issues they warn you about--intermittent minor pain in my balls that shows up for a few seconds out of nowhere. But still, 100% no hesitation would do it again. My wife also likes that she doesn't have to be on bc of any sort.

 

 

 

I had tried to get a vasectomy when I was still in the Army, but they said I was a bad candidate because "I didn't have any kids, yet." I told them that was the point. 

LOL’d exceptionally hard at the metal part. I concur. 

 


 

8 hours ago, iloveboxcars said:

^oh ok cool.

 

I have never once used condoms in my life.

 

Pull out game strong AF.

Almost made it on that train, dog. 

 

 

Also, it does seem like it would fuck with the ol libido but ain’t nobody got time for them kind of surprises. 

 

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9 hours ago, iloveboxcars said:

I've been wanting to get a vasectomy for awhile, haven't nutted up though.

 

What is ya'lls experiences as far as libido? Any noticeable changes in your ejaculate?

 

best use of a vasectomy in my eyes is busting in that shit without her having to take BC and not having to worry about taking care of some POS for 20 something years.

feel like this has been answered but heres my take

 

 no difference that i can tell in libido or ejaculate. 

 

Birth control has always made my lady kinda crazy, to the point we were on condoms for a really long time. 

Doctor will def corner you on the "are you really sure you don't want kids any more?" and "even though your marriage is good now, things change...blah blah blah." told dude i was def done having kids.

 

lots of older dudes get prostate cancer. its not uncommon for them to not even bother treating or fucking with it because you will usually die from something else by the time it kicks in/becomes an issue. As far as a shortage of testosterone goes. I haven't had mine measured. I'm more active than i was before i got snipped but who knows. I do know that you see a ton of "low T" clinics these days. I doubt it's because everyones gotten snipped.

 

Heres the play by play of what you can expect if you decide to move forward with it.

You'll go for a consult - They'll check out your balls. then talk with you to make sure you know what you are asking for and what it will mean. - they can reverse it but its a bigger pain in the ass and doesn't always work so discourage you from getting snipped if you think you will need it later.

 

They set up an appointment. I did mine on a Thursday going into a long weekend where I would have Friday/Monday off. They called in a prescription for pain pills and you take them 30 min or so BEFORE you show up at your appointment. 

 

You show up. they come and give you some warm towels to wrap your junk up with so your dick isnt hanging out and just your balls are exposed.

Doc comes in. after doc comes in, you'll be out of there within 10 minutes. he does a really small incision at the base of your dick when i say small, maybe its 1/8 of an inch.  I chose to just look at the ceiling from this point on much like I do at the dentist office. he gives you a shot in each ball - this is the only uncomfortable part. then does his clamping/tying or whatever and stitches you up, you walk out and go home. its only like 1 maybe 2 stitches. they will come out when they are ready.

 

They send you home. Spend the next 4 days playing video games, watching movies, etc. dont lift anything. not even a gallon of milk. just take it easy. your wife will be more supportive of you during this time than you have ever been of her. You've got pain pills if you need them but honestly i never used them. never felt like i needed them. Frozen peas rumor is true. you'll want to have about 4 bags of those around to rotate out. just keep them applied and follow the after care directions. 

 

Doc said you can have sex again whenever you feel like it. I took it easy and waited two weeks, kept using condoms till i got cleared from the doc.

that bit is pretty important. you still got live rounds until you cycle them boys out so watch yourself. 

 

A few more weeks pass and then you'll have to take them a jar of jizz - same as if you've ever gotten your swimmers tested. They will call in a couple of days and let you know if you are clear to play. 

 

 

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10 hours ago, DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER said:

SMFH, to each their own, but you's all just signed away your testosterone.
It's all about the IUD. Your chick gets her cervix pugged, and it's creampie heaven after that. No hormonal bullshit, no loss of testosterone on your part, no nothing. Just creampie heaven. yall fucked up. 

Hell naw theres a difference between castration and a vasectomy. There is a higher chance of prostate cancer tho that was the only thing i was sort of worried about. But i dont really plan to live past 50 anyways so suck on that grim reaper.

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1 hour ago, Moe Szyslak said:

Hell naw theres a difference between castration and a vasectomy. There is a higher chance of prostate cancer tho that was the only thing i was sort of worried about. But i dont really plan to live past 50 anyways so suck on that grim reaper.

I said that about my 30s yet here we are

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23 hours ago, diggity said:

Frozen peas rumor is true. you'll want to have about 4 bags of those around to rotate out. just keep them applied and follow the after care directions.

Damn guys, since nobody else is going to step up, I'll go ahead and ask what we're all wondering.  How long did it take to eat 4 bags of peas?

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Make sure the peas bag is also in a ziplock, one bag melted and the peas peed on me.

 

i didn’t get a pain killer prior, I got prescribed a Valium. I had male doctor and a female nurse, they worked simultaneously. I looked up at the ceiling, at one point I saw a little smoke and freaked out. They kept talking about football with me,  STFU and snip my shit already, so I can get my scripts.

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My 2 pennies:

Snip snip...no no

Tested... yes yes

Once in July, once in November.. both came back clean. 

Pull out game strong as fuck, but AIDS is strong as fuck too.

 

20191209_235253.jpg

... just reupped.

 

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