The power of positive thinking, meditation and crawling out of the pits of dispair

[misteraven]

So I've been continuing with my DIY efforts and thought I'd provide an update.

 

I've been listing to a guided meditation podcast and it is relaxing. I have no frame of reference for this stuff and for all I know maybe its a placebo effect, but I can say that I feel noticeably more relaxed.

 

Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meditation-minis-podcast/id963597166

 

Its the highest reviewed in iTunes I was able to find and has crystal clear production, which I find helps me personally. The ladies voice is super soothing so it all works pretty well (for me at least). What I don't like is that they're all super short. Like 10 - 15 minutes. I'd love if they had hour long ones because I'm just barely getting into relaxing when it's ending. Then she comes out of the guided meditation to give a plug to her sponsor or whatever, which kills the vibe a bit. I still tend to listen to a few in a row and again, I am feeling a but less anxious and just more calm in general. Been doing this before bed and early in the morning when I wake up before the alarm.

 

Further to that, I've been listening to "The Secret", mostly at night and usually after the podcast I just mentioned. Again, I don't necessarily take what they're saying literally, but the whole thing is essentially positive messages and it helps keep my mind focused on not dwelling on negative shit as I'm falling asleep. Wondering if there's a sound track or something that is essentially an hour of just positive messaging and soothing sounds? Haven't tried just listening to those rain or ocean waves or other white noise sound tracks, but will likely do that next to see if it manages to keep me focused.

 

--------------

 

All in all, I do feel better though. Again, might just be that I'm putting effort into it and that's convincing me of something, but if it works to make you feel a little better, I really don't care if it can be proven in some scientific study or not. I do suspect that a lot of this is likely very intertwined with diet, supplements and exercise. Seems like a no brainer since that's what they always tell you... Eat right, exercise, get a good nights sleep, etc... Maybe its me, but its easy to just ignore shit that is so obvious like that. Further, like exercise, I suspect it takes time to undo the damage that builds up over time. Much like if you let yourself get vastly out of shape, you can't hit the gym for a week and expect 6 pack abs. I think a lifetime of stress and not taking as good a care of yourself as you should is likely why so many people are feeling anxious, stressed and fucked up. There's a lot out there on how western society has really lost their connection to some of this sort of thing. I'll be the first to admit that there's so much out there telling you what you should or shouldn't be doing that its easy to tune all that shit out or outright defy it purposely as some pseudo science hooky bullshit or someone just trying to get rich with another self help gimmick.

 

But then again, a lot of us are feeling pretty fucked up and whereas your body bounced back when you were a kid and you also had your whole life ahead of you and could put off a lot of shit, I think most of us are waking up to realize that something is off or outright wrong and maybe we need to remedy the situation asap. 

 

Hopefully this helps some of you somehow. Still trying to find some 60+ minute guided mediation or positive thinking type soundtracks, so let me know if you come up on any. Have not tried the CBD, and also have not tried that meditation app, though I downloaded it. (Hate the idea of falling asleep with air pods and freakin iphone has no headphone jack.

[misteraven]

On 9/18/2019 at 6:53 PM, diggity said:

sign up for the free trial, pretty sure you'll get an offer at the end of it.

 

i remember reading a huge backlash about the guy who owns the company and how he was taking advantage/not living a genuine buddhist approach or some shit.

Seems to be that a lot of the first content is free and then you need to unlock the rest of it. Still planning to try it though.

[One Man Banned]

There are 3+ hour ones you can find if you just want background noise like ocean waves.

Not so much placebo effect.  It's been studied and I guess it kind of relates to you chosing a positive step for yourself combined with the expectation of something good coming from that.  

 

I've done a bunch of hypnosis, self-hypnosis, meditation, biofeedback, etc.  They all involve different levels of focus.  One of the things that was impressed on me (maybe a pun) is that many of us use these abilities regularly without realizing.  Daydreaming would be one.  Or you worked you way into a spot, rocked out, and it wasn't until later when you got home and got in the shower and felt the sting that you realized you got all scratched up on those bushes you went through.  

 

Re: positive messages will suggest not seeking them out but creating ones you want for yourself and then telling yourself those things during focused meditation.

[Guest]

Weird one: driving to/from work and arriving at your destination with no recollection of the bulk of the commute. 

[misteraven]

So I finally tried that Headspace app. Tried to do the 30 minute guided intro mediation and really didn't like it all. Don't like that its a man's voice with some sort of accent I can't place, but more than that, just wasn't nearly as good (for me) as the podcast one I mentioned. I know its not a fair assessment and I'll try it a time or two more, but main thing I also didn't like is it was so minimal, I kept wondering if the app crashed. Literally minutes between any sound at all. Again, maybe just a bad episode or something, but off to a poor start.

[poes]

On 9/25/2019 at 4:50 PM, misteraven said:

So I finally tried that Headspace app. Tried to do the 30 minute guided intro mediation and really didn't like it all. Don't like that its a man's voice with some sort of accent I can't place, but more than that, just wasn't nearly as good (for me) as the podcast one I mentioned. I know its not a fair assessment and I'll try it a time or two more, but main thing I also didn't like is it was so minimal, I kept wondering if the app crashed. Literally minutes between any sound at all. Again, maybe just a bad episode or something, but off to a poor start.

You could also try the Sam Harris app (https://wakingup.com/) but suspect you might have similar response as the Headspace one. To his credit, Sam harris has a deal where if you really can't afford it, you can email him and he will give it to you for free (both can be found on torrent sites as well).

 

I have done a bit of meditation over the years but never been able to stick with it. I do find other activities that force you to switch of your mind have a similar effect ie. BJJ or reading or anything where you end up losing track of time. Meditation is unique in the way it encourages you to deal with the thoughts/stresses in the back of your mind.

 

The guided meditations are particularly good when you are starting out and maybe need some encouragement but you'll find as you get to the more 'advanced' Headspace ones they contain more and more silence. Once you have the basics down, you only really need silence (or sounds) and some time to continue. 

 

[+plus+]

Just got promoted but I'm spending way more time at the desk and its eating my soul. 

Also the workload is easy and I have all this time I "Have" to dedicate to this position while I ignore other issues from other position. 

funny enough it is compliance related. 

 

[misteraven]

Progress update... Haven’t given the Headspace App much more of a try but feel I’m getting pretty good results from the Meditation Mini podcast posted above. She mentioned in one of them that she’ll be releasing a paid app that does away with the commercials and has some other stuff so curious to see what that’s about and what it costs. But again, podcast has been good for me. Usually listen to 1 - 3 episodes in a row before bed and in the morning and it’s calming for sure. Basically re-listening to them at this point, but don’t mind so far. 

[Guest]

On 9/26/2019 at 1:59 PM, +plus+ said:

Just got promoted but I'm spending way more time at the desk and its eating my soul. 

Also the workload is easy and I have all this time I "Have" to dedicate to this position while I ignore other issues from other position. 

funny enough it is compliance related. 

 

My last position was compliance and mad desk time. I advise buying a yoga ball to sit on instead of chair. Look like a tool but feel like a million bucks. 100% serious. My back got fuckedddddd in that first year. Hips too

[Guest]

23 hours ago, misteraven said:

Progress update... Haven’t given the Headspace App much more of a try but feel I’m getting pretty good results from the Meditation Mini podcast posted above. She mentioned in one of them that she’ll be releasing a paid app that does away with the commercials and has some other stuff so curious to see what that’s about and what it costs. But again, podcast has been good for me. Usually listen to 1 - 3 episodes in a row before bed and in the morning and it’s calming for sure. Basically re-listening to them at this point, but don’t mind so far. 

Have you tried Asmr? Not the sexy asmr, "real" asmr. 

[misteraven]

9 hours ago, KILZ FILLZ said:

Have you tried Asmr? Not the sexy asmr, "real" asmr. 

Link? No idea what you’re talking about. 

[Guest]

Throw some headphones on. @misteraven

 

[misteraven]

Will check it out.

 

Wanted to call attention to another podcast that was referenced from the Meditation Minis one I linked above. Meditation Minis is really fantastic (for me anyways) and I'd likely be willing to pay a fair subscription fee for it or an ad free version of it, because I get that much out of it. That said, this new one called Tune Into You (iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher)  is next level. Honestly, I'm sure there's therapists out there charging a grip that aren't as effective as I've found this podcast to be. Yesterday was a hard day, topped off by a super shitty evening. That podcast helped.

[glorydays]

Ive been reading a lot of albert Camus, jean Baudrillard, and Jacques Derrida

 

These philosophers are nihilistic leaning in thinking, BUT, they encourage an inner cultivation of strength and resilience that nihilists tend to overlook when embracing the school of thought.

 

Nihilism and stoicism can be held hand in hand and do not have to veer into any kind of pessimism or existential crisis.

[KILZ FILLZ]

I’m having a rough day today guys. 
 

moms been in the hospital since I took her to ER mid Nov and visiting the hospital day in and day out for this long is starting to wear on me

 

been just kind of driving around the city aimlessly all day today. 
 

can’t be home because I’ve been getting this irritable cabin fever thing, but also have no where else in mind to go. 
 

Sitting in a bar by myself right now 

 

 

fookin aye

[Fist 666]

@KILZ FILLZ imo, go find a quiet (loud waves, low people) stretch of beach and watch the tides. When I was coastal that was my go to "grounding" activity.  Bars ain't gonna help anything. 

[Hua Guofang]

13 hours ago, KILZ FILLZ said:

I’m having a rough day today guys. 
 

moms been in the hospital since I took her to ER mid Nov and visiting the hospital day in and day out for this long is starting to wear on me

 

been just kind of driving around the city aimlessly all day today. 
 

can’t be home because I’ve been getting this irritable cabin fever thing, but also have no where else in mind to go. 
 

Sitting in a bar by myself right now 

 

 

fookin aye

Get out of the bar.

 

Buy yourself a nice meal. And buy a meal for some one who really needs it. Take yourself for a neck, shoulder and back massage.

 

None of this will fix your problem but at the end of the day, you will have nourished your body and soul and not done anything you'll regret. You'll be better set to confront challenges.

[misteraven]

Definitely back the last two comments. Seems a lot of people overlook volunteering. Does the soul a lot of good to step away from life for a period and help someone simply because you’re able. 
 

The podcasts I mentioned a couple posts up have helped me tremendously, though it’s more a stress issue for me. Also another one that has become a favorite is https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tune-into-you-meditation-podcast/id1428668590

 

In regards to motivation / depression, there’s several Navy SEAL podcasts that I’ve found to be good entertainment and really motivating as well. For me, depression stems from stress, which can seems to usually go two ways for me... Either it sparks anger that I fuel into motivation when I’m feeling crushed or it sometimes saps motivation, which leads to depression. 
 

In any case, you won’t find a solution by drinking. Key to it is to break your cycle and cultivate the positives in your life. Step back for a few minutes and truly focus on the bigger picture. 

 

 

[misteraven]

Got a copy of the Secret book audio file. As mentioned previously, I'd been listening to the movie on Netflix at night before bed or early in the morning before sun up, just to focus my mind and sort of let the positive messages sink in. Being honest, I was pretty skeptical at first (I generally maintain a skeptical position by default), but the more I listen to the words, look up related topics and think it through myself, the more I believe in the essence of what they're saying. The book is actually better than the movie as far as audio. Its a bit more in depth and comes off a bit less hookie.

 

But the power of positive thinking, is more than just some bullshit saying you tell people that are depressed. There's a sort of universal truth to it that I think few people truly understand. Not implying I do myself, but when you consider how little modern science understands about the actual biology and physiology of the brain, you can imagine how much less than understand about the less tangible side of it. We've seen scientific, evidence based understanding of the placebo effect, as well as a great many examples of the power of the mind that continues to mostly go unexplained. We've seen how certain cultures have managed to achieve physical feats that should be impossible through a lifetime of training in meditation and other mental discipline. It's off that there's so little information on that sort of thing, as well as how it seems most of Western society actually dismisses stuff like that.

 

Anyhow, I've been slowly trying to wrap my head around the topic, but can absolutely say that the guided meditation stuff I mentioned in previous comments and simply listening to positive words, whether its the Secret or some Navy SEAL podcast discussing overcoming extreme adversity, has really done wonders at keeping my own mood / motivation in check. Call it a placebo effect if you want, but the way stress and depression can derail health and happiness is 100% a real thing and what I'm learning is that a lot of that can be controlled. Makes me wonder how much more the mind can control with proper exercising and discipline of the mental faculties that we otherwise largely ignore, if not outright dismiss.

 

Anyhow, I definitely recommend it to all you guys.

[SMdoubleXL]

I found this a bit ago  and to me it seemed like a very good visual to the truth of this.  The more you feed either side the greater it gets.  You really have to be conscious of which side you’re feeding.  

[KILZ FILLZ]

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering ?

[misteraven]

4 minutes ago, KILZ FILLZ said:

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering ?

[One Man Banned]

Bumpity bump.  You'd think we need this thread more than ever.  Thought of it the other day.  Was playing with a blood pressure monitor at someone's house.  Took my BP.  Then took it again while doing meditational breathing, dropped my reading by 10 points.

[johnny]

Keeping breaking news and facebook off my radar has done wonders for keeping up that PMA.  Simply limiting my intake of the news cycle has probably had the most impact lately.

[KILZ FILLZ]

8 hours ago, johnny said:

Keeping breaking news and facebook off my radar has done wonders for keeping up that PMA.  Simply limiting my intake of the news cycle has probably had the most impact lately.

Ignorance truly is bliss

 

i have a few sayings that have stuck with me though life. 
 

one of them is - ‘don’t ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer’

 

this can be applied to so many things. 

[Tails0nE]

So.. I've seen this thread before when someone commented some obviously not positive things a little while ago and with the way my life be lifin' right now I figured I'd take a second to be a little vulnerable with you guys on here in search for some potential positive affirmations/advice or even some would say guidance if you will.. I don't wanna give up too much personal info cause, ya know the whole anonymity thing, but ya boy is not feeling well mentally.. like at all.. and haven't been for quite a fucking while now... 

 

Long story short, I feel like I'm stuck in my current situation/relationship and for quite a while now it's been a huge negative impact onto me and my mental health.. she means well but has this victim mentality to where everything is out to get her also can't let go of things from the past even from her previous relationships and constantly throws it in my face.. more importantly, and this is the main thing here, I can't keep being someone's personal therapist when they take everything I say advice/guidance wise and manipulate it to be the most negative thing I can even think of or say.. literally to the point to where it's like those are two completely different sentences.. and especially when I'm still trying to work out my own bullshit and problems let alone yours on top of it.. she claimed she has border personality disorder and only sees black and white, right or left, no in between.. I'm nervous to break it off because that's when she gets petty and starts threatening me with the car we share and that I helped pay for as well as maintenance issues to get my son every other weekend.. she's already done it before when we've argued and even gotten to the point where shell throw my clothes on the couch and tell me to leave, then when I do she blows my shit up hours later and begs me to come back.. everything is such a chore to even talk to her with or about and it's draining to even keep a conversation with her because she eventually throws some negative ass shit in the mix for legit no reason..

 

This has been an issue to where it's halted my creativity but I don't wanna use her bullshit as a scapegoat for my own procrastination and laziness although it definitely plays a big role in it.. also it irks the fuck out of me of how self aware I am about my own self destruction to where I end up in a never ending loop of self deprecating depression.. like, I haven't created anything in a while, so I'm down about it.. I know I wanna create something, so I try to, but because of whatever bullshit or other life stress, it's hard for me to focus and I don't end up getting as much done as I want to, which gets me down even more.. I realize what's happening, and it gets me down even MORE on top of that because whatever the fuck is interfering with me trying to create and I'm not getting as much as I want done.. yet I realize THAT as well and get pissed with myself to where I'm like "why are you letting this affect you stop being a bitch dude" but because my focus and energy isn't on what I'm trying to create I fuck off and end up playing a game to decompress or some shit.. which results in me getting EVEN MORE upset and pissed with myself because I realize ALL of that shit, yet I'm not doing better to fix the situation.. like, I got energy to play the game but not to do what's important to me which pisses me off EVEN MORE... Then I make a full loop and I'm back to the beginning.. it's honestly the most fucking annoying thing about myself that even I wanna kick my own ass over it..

 

But with all that being said, I'm really lighting a fire under my ass to get my own car and apartment like ASAP but I'm putting an obnoxious amount of extra stress and pressure on myself to do everything like right this very second because I want out.. like badly.. which I know isn't healthy for me on top of how I already feel on a daily basis with the shenanigans I gotta deal with at home.. let alone my son's mother being extremely difficult for no reason at the most random times.. like I'm trying to do a lot by myself all at once and as quick as possible but I feel it's not that easy nor works that way which I think is more so the reality of things..

 

I said I was gonna be vulnerable on here because ironically enough I don't have anyone I can express these things to.. my family have their own shit going on and when I talk to my mother it's usually that completely uninterested/barely paying attention conversations where the only responses are "yeah.... Nah I feel you... I understand... Yeah...... But yeah I'm gonna head to the store idk what to make for dinner tonight blahblahblah" so I've kind of refrained from even bothering to speak with them about things like this.. friends, meh... I have trust issues with people even though I have a decent friend group, I've been fucked over too many times in the past to feel comfortable opening up like this with others yet ironically enough I'm here on the internet exposing myself to a bunch of strangers.. yet I feel more trust with you all than others I know IRL if that somehow makes sense..

 

 

All in all, even after this massive wall of text, what it comes down to is this... I don't wanna keep living like this.. I don't wanna keep being surrounded by negativity... there's so much more I want to accomplish with my life and staying in this situationship isn't gonna help me get there, yet I have no idea how to maneuver about all of this or what the first step to take is so I'm compiling everything on top of each other and trying to do everything all at once which I realize isn't healthy for my well being especially with how I already feel on a daily basis.. the unnecessary added stress and pressure I'm putting on myself is getting to me on top of everything else and is clouding my head even more than before and I have no idea where to begin...

 

Apologies for the massive wall of text.. I just don't know what else to do or where to turn to.. I guess any and all kinds of advice or positive reinforcements of that sort of whatever would be appreciated.. once again idk why I'm exposing myself like this on the interwebs.. but with practically growing up on here as a kid and a lot of different perspectives on life from different parts of the country/world this platform can share I feel more comfortable talking with you all than others I see on an almost daily basis ironically enough.. sorry for sounding like a TPWF I swear I'm widening my stance so big right now as I'm typing this I'm damn near doing the splits right now... Is this what a mid-life crisis is...?

 

This adulting shit is fuckin wack...

[One Man Banned]

You can tell your secrets to the Oontz.  But props on taking a chance and putting yourself out there, 1st positive thought is you're willing to take healthy risks.  You wrote a lot and I actually did read it.  Some thoughts/ideas....

 

Your girl has mental illness.  That doesn't mean that she's not responsible for her behavior.  At the same time, realistically you're going to face some unusual circumstances at times in your relationship as a result.  Maybe she would be willing to see a therapist and can make changes.  For you, it may be too late and time to move on as a healthy choice for yourself.  The positive thought I'm reminded of here is a quote something along the lines of that we have to allow people to be who they are, and that attempts by us to make them be something different is more harmful than whatever harm they may cause being themselves.  I'm also thinking that with borderline ladies you're not so much separating or breaking up so much as you're untangling yourselves.

 

You've mentioned being aware of some of the times you're kicking your own ass and making things worse.  So now, in advance, consider what are the healthy options for you during those times so that when they do happen, you have those healthy options to choose from.

 

Part of positive thinking is challenging negative thinking or thinking errors.  A good place to look at are the times where you use words like should or have to.  There are very few rules or truths in life, so when we tell ourselves should or have to we're often applying our own rules to life that may drive us crazy because these are not real rules.  

 

Creativity and productivity, two different concepts that can exist together.  Hard to force either, harder with creativity I guess.  Sometimes stress and emotion adds to the experience, other times it gets in the way.  If you were a Blues musician you'd be all set.  Sometimes it's good to start a creative project with a direction in mind, other times we let the feeling move us.  Often a new project is started with a blank canvas or clean piece of paper, but how often do we begin with a clean and clear mind?  Creativity does not occur solely when we step into the studio, it comes to us as we move through life.  So if you're stuck somewhere, get out and move.  Immerse yourself in something else and then suddenly what you're looking for comes to you instead of you having to search to find it.

 

Keep up the struggle.  Fight the good fight.  The Oontz has your back.

[One Man Banned]

Going to mention @fat ralphyfor some thoughts hurr.......

[ndv]

@Tails0nE  it's tough to start with one thing in your situation.  But first and foremost,  you at least see your personal faults, I don't believe you're lazy, and you have what it takes to get out of it becuase you recognize the negative implications of your current situation and care to better yourself.   As for what she is doing to you, from what I understand  she's not good for you look what it's doing to you. Time to make a change.  She is using this to control you.  She doesn't respect you at this point.   As for the transportation situation I understand in this day and age it's tough to get around with out wheels.  This is a tough call here.  But one thing I'd do see, is she knows how much your child means to you, and you are doing everything you can to see your child regardless of the hurdles you have in front of you (no auto) but you don't let nothing get in the way, hoelwever, she doesn't mind getting in the way of that.  Basically she will get in the way of someone who is a good father and personally that's not cool with me with people like that.   

 

I know it's tough to say and even tougher to do.  But honestly she doesn't realize the way she is acting, she is giving you the opportunity to make a choice in your life for the better.  I think she thinks or she it may not even cross her mind at all that you will not have the balls to leave and you'll stick around.  This is where she's wrong.   Why? Becuase you addressed the situation, you have ambition, drive and a life.  

 

Don't get me wrong it's easier said than done, actions speak liuder than words.  When I was still working a 9 to 5 while trying to start my business the thought of quitting my job that day with a fee hundred bucks in my bank account was the most scary feeling I have ever had.  But what shadowed that fear was the leap of faith of telling myself if I don't quit, how will I know if I will fail or make it.  A couple months later I'd walked out, bridges burned to never cross again as a motivation to make the best of it, use every opportunity I can to succeed.  Several years later my business is doing good, might not be where I was hoping it to be but better than yesterday.   I can't say I succeeded or failed because it's still a work in progress, but one thing I can say is that I am no longer in a position where my mental state is in a bad situation in a pay check to pay check example of a bad relationship.   

 

I guess what I am trying g to tell you is that you have what it takes to better yourself becuase you see the bad.  At this point you will have to take a leap of faith but a smart thing to do is tie up any loose ends with anything that is outside your relationship that has nothing to do with her, line ducks up in a row, talk to the closet people who you know will help if needed at rock bottom and then go for it.  

 

I am hoping someone like @Mauler5150 could chime in with a few things given his success in life as i am sure @misteraven could add a few words.

 

God Speed and donkie punch, Brother!

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

Yo @Tails0nEi feel you dog. Living in somewhat of a parallel universe myself only the stakes are feeling a bit higher as I have a house and kid with shorty. The last year and a half ++ have been fucking gnarly. They get better briefly and then back to regular programming. I deal with all my own depression and personality disorder. Which is fucking really hard when you add in trying to run a business but I still keep waking up every day. Therapy twice a week does help but it’s still a motherfucker. When these women add fuel to the fire it’s so fucking hard man. I been drinking a shit load and self medicating that way which is not the move but Wtf. Positive thinking is a real butch but I been having some light weight success with practicing gratitude for weird small shit and it helps a lot. I’m fuckin old too done tried it all. Best advice I can give is to take a peek at the only things that bring you joy and do that shit big or small.