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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 year later...

My chromed up Honda Civic is no more brehs, it's over-------I tried to change the spark plugs today----never have worked on a car before and just watched the first thirty seconds of a youtube video------man long story short, the engine exploded brehs-------blew the eyebrows clean off my face-----your boy is straight browless now-----forehead looks like an asian pornstar's vagina brehs-----typing this from a burger king was supposed to go to emergency room but was driving by there and seen they had a new cheesecake pie-----shit  was fire just like the fire coming from my Civic brehs------monday I will have to go out and find a new whip that i can let ride sideways on residential streets-----Discuss

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8 hours ago, Boris The Butcher said:

My chromed up Honda Civic is no more brehs, it's over-------I tried to change the spark plugs today----never have worked on a car before and just watched the first thirty seconds of a youtube video------man long story short, the engine exploded brehs-------blew the eyebrows clean off my face-----your boy is straight browless now-----forehead looks like an asian pornstar's vagina brehs---Discuss

 

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As many of you know, there is a disabled dude that lives in my apt building. He doesn't have to work and he apparently is paying some girl to live there and blow him for rent or something. He used to have a wheelchair wife but she got arrested for trying to shoplift some kind of dog appliance and her wheelchair battery went out in the door at walmart so she just had to wait for them to get to her. A friend of mine works there and said that they were real smug about it, like they would take a few steps then stop and talk about some stupid shit, then take a few more and stop, etc. 

 

But anyway, dude just sits at home or outside being useless and he is my enemy. A few days ago, I heard his whore outside on the phone talking about how this fat fuck cannot achieve an erection and she has to give him flaccid head no homo. I made a mental note of that for the day I would need it. That day was today. I was going to work and dude was out there and he goes 'enjoy working' and started laughing like I was some kind of goddamn loser. Brehs, without missing one beat I go 'enjoy not being able to achieve an erection.' I kid you not, dude's face turned complete red, like a cherry or some shit. I was in such a savage state of mind, that I waited for his comeback cause I was gonna go in on his ass. None came, he just sat there being fat and making this weird gasping noise like he couldn't' breathe n shit. So anyway, another victory for myself-----

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I thought long and hard before posting this, but here it is. 100 percent true. As most of ya'll know, I am serious with boxing. I am also lean and muscular.


Well, I live in an apartment complex and sometimes, I will show some of these lil punk kids some tips so that they can defend themselves if they get in a fight. 

One of the whole buildings over here is occupied by about 200 cambodians. Most of them usually keep to themselves but they will be all up in the roads and in and around the dumpster like it's a play pen. But there is this one that has been jealous of me for quite some time. He used to see me rolling in that honda civic with the full tint and knows that I am just swagged-out in general.


Plus, he thinks that I have been piping down his girl, which I have and plus I threw one of his dogs like a month ago. 


Ok, few days ago, I was showing one of the kids some boxing pointers and I was stripped down to the waist, glistening, looking like bruce leroy brehs. These dudes were outside rolling around on their tricycles and shit, the women were admiring the god.


Well I saw this lil dude and a couple other ones watching me, hating on me. I could feel his anger piercing my very being. The thing that brought it to a boil was when the little boy said something like 'wow, I wish you were my father!' he said it in a joking manner because he asked how to get muscles and I told him working out not being a slob.

When he said that, dude rolled up on me. That was his kid.


He started talking all fast in cambodian and shit. I looked at him and was just smiling, not really taking him seriously. This only made him angrier. Finally, this pathetic fool swung on your boy so of course, I easily caught that shit like captain marvel.


I wasn't going to punch him, but raised my hand to slap the shit out of him like one of my hoes. And that's when one of the dudes that I hang with sometimes fell down beside me on the goddamn parking lot. This muthafucka was spazzing out and having a seizure and shit.
 
He has some kind of medical condition but I don't ever ask out of respect. I don't let him in my house though.

 His fat mom ran up talking bout give him cpr to which I was not going to do that because his father is gay and I don't know if he sucks dudes off by association. And kissing dudes in the mouth is just not a good look. 

I started giving this dude the chest compressions just to be doing something and somebody called the cops. The cops came and was looking hard as fuck at the cambodians, like something was clicking to them.


Less than 48 hours after that, I saw police vans and shit roll through deep as fuck, and they rounded up all the people in that building. Shit was sad as fuck brehs. I was on the porch with a bottle of that finely-aged evan williams. Ol dude was mean-mugging the fuck outta me, then he started yelling in his language, but I don't speak that shit so I don't know what he was saying. 

 
On the news, they were saying that some of the dudes in the building were moving drugs through the community and that they were being extorted or whatever it is that they do. The mayor got wind of it and is about to put me through to the governor, who is going to bow down and give me an award because they are making it like I made some huge drug-bust.


It is a well-known fact I am looking to a career in aviation, and this will be all over that application. And if I wasn't a shoe-in before, I now most certainly am. This just goes to show that you can do anything that you put your minds to brehs. Let's get it

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Gold.

 

 

Cambodian dude runs the donut shop by my BM’s crib - he flex’s hard out front when he smokes, even though he aint ripped and we all know smoking is hella played out at this point. But he is tacked back and probably runs with a crew of similar sized Cambodians, everyone knows they form like Voltron - so I check my head and give him his props when I slide through. 

 

His hyna does all the work at the shop and likes to dip extra low when she gets my apple fritter from the bottom shelf so I can peep those ដើមទ្រូង (which is breasts in Khmer)……here is the kicker, she always puts some free donut holes in my bag.

 

When I leave old boy usually says “Thanks Breh…” and most likely it’s because I keep his breeze moist. 

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