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Brehs-------


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So I was out at the space simulator with my girl lalinda and after I got out the zero gravity chamber, she went to the bathroom, this group of little college aged white girls came up to me and asked to take a picture with me. If you don't know, I have been told that I could be a serious competitor in bodybuilding, but I take my combat training far too seriously for that so there's no time. Also, I drive a honda civic on chrome. But anyway, these little white girls were asking to touch on my arms and all this shit, which I allowed them to, and a couple of times, some of them bent over and there was 'incidental' contact between pelvises, and when they left, Lalinda saw all of this go down and was pretty distraught so right then and there I broke it off. Then some middle-aged, balding scrub with a golden state warriors shirt on came up to me and was all like 'how can I get that kind of reaction from women sir?' I basically looked this dude up and down once, then turned my back on him and I could feel his presence behind me for a moment and then he walked off once he got the hint. 

 

This guy was like 5'0 193 lbs of pure fat, not an ounce of testosterone in his entire bloodstream. And I looked out the window and seen he got in a prius also. But brehs, if you want to get these females like many of you do, you need to get in the gym or be doing some kind of physical labor every day------Discuss

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Thats crazy, cause I just went to this middle eastern restaurant down the block mad close and I go in there by myself and order a mixed grill plate to go that imma take home and eat at the table while I get money you feel me and if the yankees hit the over itll be tax season but yo this israel dude says some shit like oh 1 plate for this guy rolling solo, it was like 17.99 so I gave this mf a $20 and he’s like OH CASH LOL!!! Right then these two saudi girls pull up on a maseriti and I cup the shorter ones awesome tits, visibly erect while the other one grabbed my phone outta my pocket and added herself on ig, they both said they were feeling me and want to hang out at the club this weekend and I’m like yo I go to sleep at like 12 something, the taller one was playing with my beard trying too look me in the eyes, saudi girls steal little pieces of your soul every time you look eye to eye, but it can for sure be worth it. The zionist loser who probably wishes he was tear gasing 8 year old palestinians calls the order, I picked up the smaller of the two girls and simulated hardcore with one hand up air like some rodeo shit and the other one blew me a kiss i morpheus dodged it  with my arms back like I was smashing the first chick in a naruto run. The taller one who was still short did the phone motion with her hand and I told her I’m getting this money and bounced.

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Breh.. i was hanging with my girl at the casino and we get into this fight, i dont even remember about what because i was drunk as shit. We end up in the parking lot hanging in the car, shes sitting backseat door open and i’m standing leaning against the car. She starts crying for whatever reason and i’m trying to get her to relax. At this point we’re not fighting shes just crying and i’m trying to get her to chill. Some group of people (3 dudes 2 chicks) walks by and this fool says “be chill bro.” To which i bark back “mind your fucking business.” And this cunt says it again, “be chill bro.” And i snap back “yo! Shut your fucking mouth before i get it wired for ya bruh.” Simultaneously my girl is screaming “bitch shut the fuck up before i fuck you up!” We have a quick moment like “awww” then we get out the car. 

 

Now i aint from the hood, but my girl is. Shes a white girl who grew up in a very well known shitty place. Walking over i think “I need to hold it down on some man shit right now... what would Boris do??” So i walk up, drop to a one handed handstand like i’m Jean Claude and bboy spin kick 2 of the fools in the mandible. I look over and my girl has this one bitch spinning from her hair like shes about to shot put her across the Mississippi.

 

Brehs.. i didnt know i had those kinda moves in me, but i knew i had to channel my inner Boris if the 2 of us were gonna survive the 5 on 2. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 9 months later...
On 7/27/2019 at 1:50 PM, Boris The Butcher said:

Brehs, I am a goddamn beast with this boxing shit. I went back to the old bball gym I used to go to years ago. It was about five years ago when I last went there. So I am out there with the fibraz and stylations everywhere. But seriously, this dude came up to me as I was watching one of the games and he was all like do you remember me. I told him yeah and he put his hand out and we did the whole handslap come in for half hug thing. However, once this dude got into close quarters, I noticed he put his other hand on my deltoid, that is the shoulder muscle for you retards that don't know. I turned and he was like 'damn you got cut man.' I instantly pushed him, but he had like a gay strength hold so he didn't go flying back. 

 

Many of ya'll know I ain't the one for homo desires so I was like 'what the fuck!' and dude looked around nervously and was all like 'chill.' then he apologized and as he was saying how sorry and 'confused' he was, I don't know brehs, something in me just didn't want to hear it. I literally looked at him and said 'you know what, you're finished.' stole on him right in the right pectoral and he passed the fuck out, screaming like a bitch. Like, he was unconsciously screaming while knocked out. Two of the dudes that work there ran up and I jumped up in the air and gave them that bruce lee double split kick thing you see in the movies and I had never done that before. After that, it was on. Brehs, I kid you not when I say I had to battle my way to the exit and was giving them hands out with military precision. The thing is, I didn't respect their power so I just took whatever they had in order to land my own shit. Dudes was falling out left and right and somebody had their pit up there in the gym and let it loose and it jumped at me off the bleachers and I gave it one crescent chop in midair and snapped its shit all the way up. By the time I had made it to the civic, it must have been like five of them muthafuckas out cold and one of these faggots had managed to rip my wifebeater too. Adrenaline is still pumping as I type this. Discuss and ask questions if you wish.

YO IM DYING

 

GOD HELP ME

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Brehs I was out fishing today by the ocean and I overheard this bill nye looking fellow wearing cargo shorts and hiking boots telling his son how dangerous sharks are and to not go into the water, So I approached him and told him and his son that only pussies fear animals, What you want to do with a shark is give it one of your arms, same as with a dog. Once it latches on, you apply a blood choke and cut off its air supply. If you are a trained boxer like I am, you could go straight for the body with either hand. Of course, since theres a good chance any encounter with a shark will be underwater, you will need better than average core strength to generate the knockout power. It is definitely doable though if you can hold a plank maneuver for five hours, you have the core strength to knock out a shark. His son looked at me with tears in his eyes then looked at his dad and said why can't you be more like him dad, I put my sunglasses back on and walked away------Discuss 

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