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GnomeToys

How to beat the final boss of linkedin

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I found 1 weird trick to instantly make you show up on all the searches.   I got this popup immediately:
 

 

linkedin_allstar.jpg.b80f47f815983f492b87936e2b4f00bc.jpg

 

"WOW HOW DO I DO THIS MAGICAL PROFILE FUCKERY AND GET RECRUITERS SLURPING MY NUTS?", you scream incoherently.

 

I added work experience.

 

linkedin_person.jpg.63a9ff123df4c419d423166b2d1462ea.jpg

 

😄  😄 😄

 

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LinkedIn is just the "professional" fuckboi network.... like facebook, but... "professional".

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So far all I’ve seen from LinkedIn are a handful of messages that could have been just as easily emailed (in fact it would have been easier since I could’ve just responded straight away instead of click a link to go to the website, then respond) and a fuck ton of spam offering everything from marketing advice to accounting services and SEO.

 

Total waste. They’ll be dead before Instagram. 

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Meh, I've gotten a bunch of interviews through there (when I wasn't in a good state to be interviewing)  and a lot more requests that I ignored because I wasn't looking.  Very little spam, but I still don't like the place much and pseudo-randomize the work history and profile every once in a while to see what kind of hilarity it produces.

 

 

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A short time after I posted the same screenshots on linkedin, two advertising / SEO agencies, one local and one in DC Metro, viewed it and started requesting me in their network.  

 

I deleted the account.

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I might need to polish up my LinkedIn profile after reading this

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My best luck has been on dice.com for tech jobs.  Careerbuilder.com also works.  I went to college on udemy.com for $10 one time.

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