Dirty_habiT Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Probably helps I don't have a penny to my name and don't get paid for 2 weeks This is a subject that is covered in treatment programs. Some addicts cannot handle "success". They stay clean while they don't have the means to get fucked up but as soon as everything is going well and they have a couple extra dollars or some free time they fall right back into the hole. The real challenge will come when you can afford to buy alcohol again and make the choice not to do it. In response to the comments about the town having a drinking problem, I live in Austin, TX. I am pretty sure most peoples' "hobby" in this town is getting fucked up. It's a huge slow moving orgy here with a bunch of people lacking inhibitions. To some this might sound like some awesome rock concert where drugs are free and hookers are giving out hj's to everyone.... but when you're not a part of the scene and you can take a step back from it, it really seems like many people have no substance and nothing to do with their free time that's worth a shit. What's funny is that since I'm never anywhere that drinking is the main subject... the only place i see a lot of drinking now is AT work. We have whiskey by the coffee maker at work, various canned beers in the fridge, and numerous people have bottles on their desks. This brings me to my response about "never painting without drinking." The one time I got in deep doo doo painting was when I was fucked up. I don't think I would have been able to get away even if I were sober, but I can tell you that your mind doesn't think nearly as fast or clearly when you're using a substance.... any substance. Have you ever heard a friend that would say "i drive better when I'm stoned." Yeah, that's a moronic thing to say. The only thing anyone does better stoned or drunk is have a limp dick and eat cheetos. The sober you is the better you. I'm not intending to preach or say that anyone is wrong for their choices... everyone does what works for them. When you realize that something is causing you a problem in life, then it's probably not for you and best to avoid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Yea with painting I don't really paint illegally I'm almost 40 and don't need the hassle. I got busted a few years ago very drunk in a different town and I just held my hands up got arrested as I knew friends were round the corner and gave them a chance to get away. I went to a friends house last night. I did drink but only had 2 and was by no means drunk in the slightest I just nursed a drink and was really proud of myself but then walking home I bought a half bottle of whiskey then did the same today (fuck knows why I'm being so honest on here but no one else is about really) Back to starting over tomorrow. But I will say other than the drink I'm very happy with how I'm dealing with everything else in life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 It takes time. You'll get tired of realizing that you're weak to these things and stop doing it. Everytime you go back and feel guilty about it, it's another step to not doing it anymore. With most substances it only takes a little bit. If you look at the story you told, you started w/ two beers, but it triggered a 2 day long relapse with hard liquor. Two beers with some friends seems harmless.... a bottle of whiskey in two days seems like a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hua Guofang Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 Yea with painting I don't really paint illegally I'm almost 40 and don't need the hassle. I got busted a few years ago very drunk in a different town and I just held my hands up got arrested as I knew friends were round the corner and gave them a chance to get away. I went to a friends house last night. I did drink but only had 2 and was by no means drunk in the slightest I just nursed a drink and was really proud of myself but then walking home I bought a half bottle of whiskey then did the same today (fuck knows why I'm being so honest on here but no one else is about really) Back to starting over tomorrow. But I will say other than the drink I'm very happy with how I'm dealing with everything else in life Good to hear that you're on the up, mate. I've never dealt with depression nor alcoholism so I really don't have any realistic advice to give, sorry mate. I did kick smokes after 20+ years of the filthy fuckers. I smoked at work and worked from home so I couldn't avoid the triggers either. I went cold turkey as that's the approach that suits me best, although it's not for others. My mantra was that I wasn't quitting smoking, but that I was not allowed to put anything in my mouth to smoke. That got me through each day until the cravings left, which took months. 6 years later I'm still coughing shit up. Hope that vignette might help in some way or at least offer some support for ya. @D_Habs - regards avoiding situations that can trigger, everyone is different, man. some people prefer to get past the physical cravings before they test themselves. That is not any indication on strength of character or any shit like that. There is one goal and nothing else matters. Whatever is the best strategy to achieve that aim is the best one for that person. For some getting early wins like challenging your intestinal fortitude makes every following challenge easier. Some others prefer to work incrementally by taking one challenge at at time - first the physical and then the psychological. Horses for courses and all that. As long as the aim remains to get where you need to be. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 There are no common rules for this shit, sent you a message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Decy. I dropped out of college over depression. My entire life was set back for years over depression. I lost friends and jobs and a bearded dragon because of fucking depression. Drinking doesn't help. Rap letters make things easier, until you get popped and end up in jail only to increase said depression. This shit sounds depressing as fuck, and i know it. But the point here is this. Fuck that shit. I know how fucking hard dealing with that shit can be and i still do. The only thing that works is what works for you and you alone. But you gotta find that thing first and foremost. Staying active and over riding the desire to mope alone in bed is key. A simple walk is a beautiful place to start. Peace and stay up! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Few quick thoughts here... Exercise is one of the best counters for depression. I can explain why if you don't believe that. In most cases it is not a cure for depression, but it helps a bunch. @Hua Guofang and anyone else who thinks you can't offer advice because you haven't dealt with depression, I would say you still have a lot to offer. What about the opposite side- happiness or contentment? Maybe you have ideas on how to acchieve or maintain that. On drinking- the obvious best method is to not drink, but how you do that is up to you. To expect someone to turn off one day and never go back sounds great, and some people do that, but the majority of people do stumble here and there along the way. If you put your pants on every morning right leg first, and I tell you starting tomorrow you're going left leg first every time, I can bet your right leg will still find its way there first quite a number of times before you fall into a steady habit of left leg. It can also be a matter of perspective. You said you hung out, had a drink or two, and felt good about that, so feel good about exercising control in that particular situation. After that the rest was a matter of choices- you could have bought or left the whiskey. You could have bought it but then put it on the shelf, or you could open it and have some. You could drink half or the whole thing. You have choices. I believe I gave credit in a DM for bringing all these things up here but will give it here too, this is the real life shit that a lot of people experience but are afraid to talk about, it's also the type of thing that some people are afraid of or don't know how to respond to, so an old school round of tic-tacs for all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 Thanks guys and sorry I've not responded to PMs I'm feeling pretty positive. I'm not gonna beat myself up for drinking on the weekend as am yet to drink this week. Started reaching out to some friends. Was nice that last night one of the local hip hop heads invited me to go chill this weekend. Painting is ok as I don't paint illegally anymore so not worried about getting nicked. Gonna go home tonight and get some sketching done for a few battles. Each day as it comes but definitely come to a realisation that most people I know are acquaintances and not friends but that's cool, I'm just gonna focus on me and my son 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 Another day without drinking Still feeling positive to the point I'm looking up yoga stretches to sort my sciatica out hah 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hua Guofang Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Good on you mate. Sciatica sucks. But isn't that more related to lower back issues? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 Yea all stems from a motorbike crash when I was 17 and fracture a vertebrae had lower back issues on and off since mid 20s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sicilian antiquities Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 Even though I've not had depression, I've been on and off for the last 2 years with a girl who has battled depression and alcoholism for years. She's currently on disability from the depression, should be on meds etc. I and we've done a fuckload of research on depression, meds, dosages. One thing I've found, and we've tested is micro dosing mushrooms. This has actually worked. I know it's not for everyone, especially with regards to drug testing at work places, but if you can, it's something to think about. There is currently quite a lot of testing being done with cancer patients, anxiety and depression with the tentative results being overwhelmingly positive. Some of the benefits she's noticed... Lower alcohol cravings Elimination of serious pms cramping and general psychoness Better vision (vision suffered from brain swelling) Overall well being greatly improved Suicidal thoughts diminished Night terrors eliminated And the list goes on. Google it for sure if it's something you'd be interested in. I have partaken with her a little bit as well and It's honestly helped me with random physical and mental issues. Better sleeps, less aggression, less figity, and the odd one... regulating my bladder and piss issues ( from years of painting). That last one threw me for a loop. Other than that, stay strong. One day at a time, and believing that you can do it goes a long way. Cheers. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 I've read a bit about the same topic, there are a handful of interviews with vets affected by PTSD and similar conversations talking about the subject. I'm also under the impression that drug tests almost never screen for psylocybin/psilicin as it is cost prohibitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Another day without drinking Still feeling positive to the point I'm looking up yoga stretches to sort my sciatica out hah you ever listen to bill burrs sciatica bits? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 Nah I've not listened to them Gonna head to the doctor this week as still in pain constantly Been enjoying work not been drinking during the week but have had a few on the weekend but it's more relaxed than getting hammered haha Basically been rinsing gta online need to get myself some online gaming pals haha although my son is gonna start gta online with me too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5amshift Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Best friend of mine has been dealing with depression for as long as I've known him. Hanging out weekly at his place, late night game nights and going out for food was where we always bonded, not only to grow our friendship, but to keep his mind active and off other things. Doesn't help that his girlfriend fucking sucks, almost to the point of abusing him, and the list goes on. I believe she plays a key role in his depression, which I've said many times before but he really cannot' find the balls to get rid of her. Regardless. I feel for you guys and hope it becomes something that you conquer. I'm always available to chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Man Banned Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Drugs, alcohol, psychotropic medications, all can have positive (and negative) effects on your mental health but I would caution that in most cases this represents treating/alleviating symptoms, not curing them. Lot of the vets I've known seem to get screwed by the VA, put on multiple unnecessary meds, not really getting treatment. Military has known about PTSD since at least WWII but does not want to acknowledge the number of cases. Fucked up. @Decyferon good for you making some positive decisions and having some control, bet it feels good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 AYO D, stay up man. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 My son is off school this week as broke a rib so he is gonna come stay with me because I'm off from Wednesday to Monday Looking forward to some fun time with him and going to the anime and gaming convention on saturday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hua Guofang Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Wow, broke ribs are fucked, no comfy position. Have a great time, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enteruncreativename Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Feels like I've been stuck in this washing machine for a little while now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 you ever listen to bill burrs sciatica bits? . Sciaticaaaa......! Sciatuca-uh-uh-uh-yeah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greyusher Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I know some of you might remember me others not I've gone through a really shit period of life. A relationship has gone tits up. Been finding it difficult to connect with my son (he is almost 13) I'm drinking too much and hating life. I've worried about suicide but I don't think I'll do it. Dunno why I'm making a thread, just don't know who else to talk to how are you today Decyferon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted October 24, 2017 Author Share Posted October 24, 2017 I'm doing good. Been focussing on myself and have a week off work next week which luckily falls on half term so I will have my son all week and we are planning a spooky anime Halloween marathon and also going to the Grayson Perry exhibition here in Bristol Payday Friday so for the first time in months will have some money in my pocket. Hell even my sciatica isn't as bad. Everything's coming up Millhouse 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brink Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 Good to hear it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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