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Great Moments in 12oz History


El Jefe Uno

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key3, rumpuncher.. i actually forgot his original username. ugh. that's gonna bug me now. it was something like zippo. hahaa fuck!

 

Kilo7 I think.

Man, the extreme hammock thread was awesome, which reminds me of the MS paint what yo think people look like thread, where someone MS painted him hammocking between the two towers, that shit was awesome

 

Drawball, oh man, that was great. Fucking great.

 

Does anyone remember "ruining christianity.com" where everyone went to their forum and just all fucked around? Lots of fun there.

 

Pooping habits thread where, and I dont remember who, but went into this crazy long story about wiping down the seat, using the entire roll to build a nest, then using the empty toilet paper roll holder to cover his dick, then going home for a shower.

 

Tease was always exciting, "can a girl get pregnant if she swallows"

 

PMP telling the story about taking a shower with his wife, then getting out and sticking his ass back in and farting, then hearing her throw up in the shower.

 

One of my favorite memories of 12oz is when people used to get called out for self promo in the graffiti threads, it was ruthless. Now, it is all instantgrams and shit.

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This, this will make me laugh until the day I die. Iquit. Im kinda shocked I found it.

do i have any special rituals when it's time to take a shit?

 

well yes, as a matter of fact i do.

 

private and public shitting rituals can differ greatly.

 

for now, lets focus on the steps involved in dropping the kids off at the pool in a public location.

 

STEP 1- step one basically involves surveillance and intelligence gathering. who else is shitting in this bathroom? does their shit stink so bad that it will disturb me and interfere with enjoying my own personal aroma? do i want to sit directly next to this dude and totally freak him out with the ferocity of my dump? chances are i do. especially living in asia, i generally feel the need to rep for americans, in that we do everything bigger and better than they do. i want that old chinese man to be in AWE of the atrocity that is my white american ass.

 

STEP 2- flush first. after selecting my throne, i flush first. even if the water looks clean, how do you know someone didn't spit in it? maybe someone drank a lot of water and took one of those transparent pisses that can go completely undetectable and didn't flush. i don't want this nasty pisswater splashing up into my asshole when i drop the goosebombs.

 

STEP 3- the third step is what i like to call, "building the goose nest". i remove ALL the toilet paper from the roll. all of it. yes, you heard me correctly, take the fucking TP roll off of the dispenser, and i take ALL of the TP off of the roll. i start layering my TP around the bowl, creating a nice fluffy nest to perch on. then i decide how much TP i'll need for asswiping and hold on to that. i leave a generous supply, as you never know what the hell is going to happen once we set the wheels of poo in motion.

 

STEP 4- now i take the empty toilet paper roll and put my penis inside of it. sitting carefully on to the nest, i place my cardboard protected penis onto the edge of the bowl, making sure there is absolutely no penis to toilet contact. i get comfy. maybe light up a cigarette. take a deep breath...

 

STEP 5- bombs away. hold nothing back. take no prisoners. make it loud. nothing wrong with a little grunting, tennis pro style, too.

 

STEP 6- wipe.

 

STEP 7- flush.

 

STEP 8- wash hands. this is when i'm hoping my crapping neighbor will finish at the same time as me, so i can see the fear in his eyes after witnessing my ass in all of it's glory.

 

STEP 9- try to get home for a shower asap. i usually need it.

 

 

but this is all pretty standard stuff, right?

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