Dumb & dumber toilet scene IRL

[KILZ FILLZ]

Picked up a chick from the bar last night and went back to her place... During the day I ate a bunch of hot wings. Got back to her place and was chillin. Then the bubble guts hit me :(...Went into the bathroom to handle business quick and smooth like

 

TURNED OUT HER TOILET WAS BROKEN!!!!

 

luckily I took the lid off and figured it out. But I was terrified for a minute there LOL!

 

 

stayed the night and today all I did was fuck, drink beer, and binge watchTrue Detectove season 1(lives up to all the hype) /today was a good day!

[theprotester]

Nicely played on the DIY plumbing job.

 

Not in the all so distant past my adventure ended up differently. With all the wit and social finesse that a day of drinking white spirits can bring, I managed to snag a promising ride home from the pub with a travelling surfer babe (I can't swim). As we all know, with that finesse and wit comes another impossible to ignore side effect - boozey shits. Taxi ride was all of ten minutes, but half way through that the conversation ran dry, mainly because I was using the remaining 13% of my brain to contain said boozey shits. It was still acceptable groping season, so all systems are still go at this point.

 

Arriving to her place, got the run down on the housemates, owner of the house, etc.

 

We microwaved some sort of alfredo pasta dish and set up camp in the living room, the whole while my entire focus is on containing the firey shit brewing deep inside. After a while it was a position that was no longer tenable and I had to ask for directions to the bathroom.

 

Barely making it to the toilet, which for some reason had a rug over the toilet lid (You seen these? WHY? Why is there a little rug on your toilet?) I turned with the precision and grace of a drunken alpaca, and proceeded to empty the bowels, it was as if someone had kicked over a box of lego in the middle of a hallway.

 

I was now at peace. Fully relaxed. Without even so much as a wipe, I fell asleep like a baby.

 

Not sure exactly how long past, but I was awoken to a thud and a door whistling open - forgetting I was in the toilet I 'stood' up to defend. It was the owner of the house, a Navy officer, who was not taken aback by a naked (yeah I shit naked, come at me) random sitting on their toilet, passed out - instead, he seemed to revel in the whole situation, grabbing the dunny brush and proceeding to scrub the toilet underneath me while I was half standing above it. Screaming to me that there's nothing I can do to shock him.

 

She followed the surf to Asia, and I'm still mates with the crazy Navy bastard that scrubbed my shit off his toilet.

[One Man Banned]

Hilarious.

Killz- you didn't wash your ass out after mud butt and before smashola? Lol.

Protester- why the fuck would you go for alfredo when the dam is barely holding back the flood? Recipe for disaster there. Also, nothing wrong shitting naked, especially if you're going to wash up after.

Lolz in here.

[+plus+]

Holy Shit that is great, also pro that story was one of the best i've heard in a minute.

[Toiletseat]

Nicely played on the DIY plumbing job.

 

Not in the all so distant past my adventure ended up differently. With all the wit and social finesse that a day of drinking white spirits can bring, I managed to snag a promising ride home from the pub with a travelling surfer babe (I can't swim). As we all know, with that finesse and wit comes another impossible to ignore side effect - boozey shits. Taxi ride was all of ten minutes, but half way through that the conversation ran dry, mainly because I was using the remaining 13% of my brain to contain said boozey shits. It was still acceptable groping season, so all systems are still go at this point.

 

Arriving to her place, got the run down on the housemates, owner of the house, etc.

 

We microwaved some sort of alfredo pasta dish and set up camp in the living room, the whole while my entire focus is on containing the firey shit brewing deep inside. After a while it was a position that was no longer tenable and I had to ask for directions to the bathroom.

 

Barely making it to the toilet, which for some reason had a rug over the toilet lid (You seen these? WHY? Why is there a little rug on your toilet?) I turned with the precision and grace of a drunken alpaca, and proceeded to empty the bowels, it was as if someone had kicked over a box of lego in the middle of a hallway.

 

I was now at peace. Fully relaxed. Without even so much as a wipe, I fell asleep like a baby.

 

Not sure exactly how long past, but I was awoken to a thud and a door whistling open - forgetting I was in the toilet I 'stood' up to defend. It was the owner of the house, a Navy officer, who was not taken aback by a naked (yeah I shit naked, come at me) random sitting on their toilet, passed out - instead, he seemed to revel in the whole situation, grabbing the dunny brush and proceeding to scrub the toilet underneath me while I was half standing above it. Screaming to me that there's nothing I can do to shock him.

 

She followed the surf to Asia, and I'm still mates with the crazy Navy bastard that scrubbed my shit off his toilet.

 

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[One Man Banned]

[Sleazeside Heights]

haha great stories. that situation is the worst though.