HOW TO GET TO 7/11 WHEN YOU HIGH

[xfrodobagginsx]

PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS. IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU COULD EVER DO AND IT ONLY TAKES A FEW MINUTES.

 

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

There are some things that you should know:

1. Realize that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior:

Ro 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

 

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

 

This all began with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. God created them perfect, there was no death or sorrow. God told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed God and as a result, sin entered into the world. The pain which this world sees is the result of sin.

2. Because of our sins, we die both spiritually and physically, but God sent His Son to die so that you can have a chance not to have to go to hell by accepting what He did on the cross for you:

Ro 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

 

Ro 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. for us."

 

Every person who has ever lived is a sinner and is not righteous because we do bad things. A sin is a crime against God, just as if you steal something at the store, it is punishable by going to jail. It's the same thing with sin. Even if we lie one time, the punishment is hell, which is a prison for those who commit crimes against God. That’s because you must be perfect in order to get to heaven. No matter how well you live your life from then on, you have already committed a sin which will be punished if you are not pardoned. If you commit a crime, and then live as a good citizen you still will go to jail for the crime you committed. Right? Just as the president can pardon a crime so you won't go to jail, Jesus can pardon your sins so that you do not go to hell, and can go to heaven when you die.

3. If you will Admit to Jesus Christ that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior, Believe in your heart that He died on the cross and rose from the dead and Accept Him as your Lord and Savior and you will be forgiven and taken to heaven to be with Him when you die.

Joh 1:12 “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name”

 

Ro 10:9,10 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.."

 

You cannot get to heaven by being a good person, going to church, baptism or any other way other than by turning to Jesus, believing in your heart that He died on the cross and rose from the dead for your sins and placing your trust in Him. While these are good things to do, some people believe that they will get to heaven if they do these things, but the bible says that there is only one way to heaven and that is through receiving what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you.

 

Will you do that today? If you will, you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you die.

 

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT JESUS CHRIST DIED ON THE CROSS AND ROSE FROM THE DEAD FOR YOUR SINS?

ARE YOU WILLING TO TURN TO JESUS CHRIST FOR SALVATION?

4. If you are willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and believe it with all of your heart, you could pray something like this to God from your heart:

"Dear Lord Jesus, I believe that You died on the Cross and Rose from the dead for my sins. I ask you to come into my heart and forgive me for my sins, save me, take me to be with You when I die. I now receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. In Jesus holy name, Amen."

 

If you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ and meant it with all of your heart, you are now a child of God and will go to heaven.

 

Now that you are on your way to heaven, you should attend a bible believing church and follow in baptism.

[Fist 666]

Oh.

 

Are you going to respond to criticisms and questions or are you just going to put out a fascistic view of life and leave this thread for weeks at a time?

[xfrodobagginsx]

I will come here and answer questions and discuss this with you on a daily basis, as much as possible if you will please change the poll back to the original format and leave things as I have written them.

[Fist 666]

Sorry dude. Boogie Hands is a required poll option.

 

I'm being kind enough to let you have this thread in two sections. The original contains some of the best conversation this forum has ever seen,

[backwaterbutthole]

Boggie god damn Hands for eternity

 

Lord of the Rings sucked anyways

[!@#$%]

bring back the eyeroll smilie.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Sorry dude. Boogie Hands is a required poll option.

 

I'm being kind enough to let you have this thread in two sections. The original contains some of the best conversation this forum has ever seen,

Fair Enough. Thank you. Could you at least erase the merged second version within this thread? Not the first one, but the one under it. No need for 2 in the same exact thread. I tried to delete it, but couldn't.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Boggie #$% damn Hands for eternity

 

Lord of the Rings sucked anyways

LOTR was a GREAT movie! Come on now!

[^ . ^]

I just stopped in to state that this is the worst thread on 12oz and possibly the internet.

 

Good job.

[Schnitzel]

"Heaven For The Weather"

 

I want to go to heaven for the weather

But hell for the company

I want to go to heaven for the weather

But hell seems like fun to me

 

There's something in the sun this day, I feel it

Or maybe it's just my hay fever

The weeds are green, the sky is shining

But it'll soon be night which is nicer

But then cracks peel back and hell bends the room

And the devil gestures to you

You've never seen such a Beelzebee

And he's telling you to make up your bean about what's left of your evening

About whether to flake out or fecking stay out

What do you make of this doubt?

The devil wants to know if you're going down or up

Easy - I know what my speech should be

 

I want to go to heaven for the weather

But hell for the company

I want to go to heaven for the weather

But hell seems like fun to me

 

Oh and

Boogie Hands!!!

[Mr.Maker]

 

/thread

[Brickos]

BH

[CALIgula]

co-signed on Boogie Hands

[xfrodobagginsx]

I just stopped in to state that this is the worst thread on 12oz and possibly the internet.

 

Good job.

How So? Telling people how to get to heaven is a bad thing?

[Fist 666]

Ah yes. You're right and everyone who disagrees with you is wrong, so it is out of kindness and love that you're willing to share they key to heaven, not some egotistical, self serving catharsis that you've adopted because your church shoved it down your throat.

 

Sure.

[Toiletseat]

how can i donate money to your church to ensure my soul doesn't get flushed to the bowels of hell?

[CALIgula]

Ah yes. You're right and everyone who disagrees with you is wrong, so it is out of kindness and love that you're willing to share they key to heaven, not some egotistical, self serving catharsis that you've adopted because your church shoved it down your throat.

 

See also scare tactics

See also brainwashing

[Guest]

How many people did Lucifer kill in the bible vs how many your 'God' killed.. Flood etc

 

How many days did it take your 'God' to create the universe? On which day did he create the sun again? If it's any thing other than the first day everything falls apart. The sun is the entire basis of our time system.

 

 

Fairy tales are fun.

 

Religion is for people who don't have their own moral compass or sense of purpose. But hey, lots of people need something. That's why motivational speakers make so much goddamn money... Because there are an bunch of weak people on this planet that want someone to hold their fuckin hand.

[Fist 666]

Yeah, but what if you're wrong?

[CALIgula]

^Devil's advocate...lol

[xfrodobagginsx]

how can i donate money to your church to ensure my soul doesn't get flushed to the bowels of hell?

Ac 8:18 And when Simon saw that through the laying on of the apostles' hands the Holy Spirit was given, he offered them money,

19 saying, "Give me this power also, that anyone on whom I lay hands may receive the Holy Spirit."

20 But Peter said to him, "Your money perish with you, because you thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money!

21 "You have neither part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in the sight of God.

[Fist 666]

So all of the OT verses that refer to Abraham giving a tenth of his everything to god, typical justification for tithing, is what? Old laws that can be forgotten for New Covenant believers? Like your ability to wear cotton-poly blends t's and eat pork?

 

Or is it like the OT stuff about hating homos and menstruating women and it should be acknowledged?

[ShortFuse]

The tithe is something churches abuse in the scriptures to make money. The tithe was originally set up through the mosaic law to provide for the Levites. The Levites did not receive an inheritance in Israel so God commanded the Israelites to give one tenth of their produce to support the Levites. The reason being because the Levites maintained priestly duties etc. Money though was not a commandment of the tithe. It was for grain, fruit, live stock etc. Money could be given if the person chose to do so but they would have to give an additional fifth. There also wasnt a punishment if someone failed to tithe. God gave them the commandment under strong moral responsibility. Jesus being an end to the Law has removed the guidelines of the tithe. Christians at Pentecost 33 ce became part of a new spiritual priesthood that was not supported by tithes.

 

Proverbs 3:9 says to Honor God with your valuable things, but it can be applied in a broad sense to our stengths, talents, time, along with material.

 

Jesus stated in Matthew "What you received free, give free" so surely providing spiritual food via ministry shouldnt cost people. He even told a scribe that wanted to follow him "But Jesus said to him: “Foxes have dens and birds of heaven have nests, but the Son of man has nowhere to lay down his head.” So Jesus, the primary role model for all christians, didnt lead a life full of things.

 

2 Corinthians 9:7 states "Let each one do just as he has resolved in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver" so its not a guideline of a tenth, twentieth, or 3.95767 th but what a person chooses to provide.You could even use the example of the poor widow. She gave two coins of small value. Jesus said she gave more than any others because she gave out of her Want and not out of her Surplus.

 

The Apostles provided for themselves in the ministry. Paul was a tent maker and worked as one. In 1 Thess 2:9 he states "Surely you remember, brothers, our labor and toil. We were working night and day, so that we would not put an expensive burden on any one of you, when we preached the good news of God to you." He led the example of not putting a burden on people for the ministry.

 

The Mosaic law might have been done away with after Jesus but Laws are based on principles so the basis behind them can still be applied to Christians. In Romans 15:4 can be applied to still applying the OT along with NT "For all the things that were written beforehand were written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope" Also 2 Tim 3:16 "All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness"

[Fist 666]

The face of your faith doesn't demonstrate any of that.

 

Do the mega-church pastors that siphon money from the poor still get to go to heaven simply because they've asked Jesus H Christ into their hearts?

Why does god's mysterious plan involve fucking over the people that Jesus claimed to care about?

Has Catholicism's "Suffering is a gift from god" spread throughout the whole of christianity?

If letting his son die was such a great sacrifice, why would god allow the rest of history and humanity to completely disregard what Christ talked about?

[ShortFuse]

The False representatives of said faith dont demonstrate that.

 

Considering what is said in Matthew 7 you could rightfully say that these mega churches are among those of false religion stated in the bible. "“Be on the watch for the false prophets who come to you in sheep’s covering, but inside they are ravenous wolves. 16 By their fruits you will recognize them. Never do people gather grapes from thorns or figs from thistles, do they? 17 Likewise, every good tree produces fine fruit, but every rotten tree produces worthless fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear worthless fruit, nor can a rotten tree produce fine fruit. 19 Every tree not producing fine fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Really, then, by their fruits you will recognize those men." So to examine the actions of said churches and many aspects of religious leaders and relate them to the "fruits" they produce you can tell that they fit with the "ravenous wolves" of false prophets. 2 Corinthians 11 also helps with "And no wonder, for Satan himself keeps disguising himself as an angel of light.15 It is therefore nothing extraordinary if his ministers also keep disguising themselves as ministers of righteousness. But their end will be according to their works."

 

Its more than accepting into the heart, James 2 gives a good understanding that its not by faith alone "Of what benefit is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but he does not have works? That faith cannot save him, can it?" "19 You believe that there is one God, do you? You are doing quite well. And yet the demons believe and shudder. 20 But do you care to know, O empty man, that faith without works is useless?" The contrast is very good. The demons know God, they are Angels that turned against god, so surely theyve seen the proof in the pudding yet their works are what is bad and have made the choice. Even for us the bible speaks many times using works like "exercise" "exert yourself" "indure" all words promoting action.

 

Gods plan isnt so mysterious. Religious leaders today want people to think that the bible cant be understood. Far from it. 1 John 5:20 says Jesus has given his disciples the "undertsanting, that we may know what is true." Some translations render it "mental perception" intellectual capacity" or "insight." As for screwing people over thats not Gods fault. 1 John 5:19 says the world is lying in the power of Satan. It was Satan that started it all. James 1:13 clearly says that for evil things God cannot be tried. God might allow things to happen but the scriptures speak of him as the "living god." Likening it to the fact that nothing is impossible for him so what can man really do to us. Jesus foretold that his righteous followers would be persecuted and hated so it would be something to expect. Satan at 1 peter 5:8 is called a roaring lion seeking to devour someone. So of course an adversary like that would do all he could to cause harm to is enemies followers. Its not a grim outlook. There are many areas in the bible for encouragement and guarantee of provision, care, and protection from God. Its not like hes just saying oh well hey whatever. Ecc 9:11 Shows that God doesnt cause things to happen as some consider fate "11 I have seen something further under the sun, that the swift do not always win the race, nor do the mighty win the battle,+nor do the wise always have the food, nor do the intelligent always have the riches, nor do those with knowledge always have success, because time and unexpected events overtake them all."

 

I guess the last question is somewhat answered within the others. God gave mankind free will so man will chose a way of life. Jesus talked about a time where the world would get increasingly bad before the declared End would come. False prophets, people leaning on their own understanding, degradation of human morals, war, increased poverty, pestilences, food shortages, increased earthquakes, etc. Kinda looks like our world today. But the bible also talks about a rise in true knowledge behind the bible, a growth of faithful servants, how the love of the greater number would cool off, and how Gods true followers could be noticed.

[CALIgula]

yo, im sorry, but im about this close (holds up thumb and index finger about 1 cm apart) from closing this thread.

 

this thread with the same exact title appears in the news section....I don't care what religion anyone chooses to accept....if Christianity works for you, great!...what I do have a problem with is people shoving religion down other people's throats.

 

sorry, but 12oz is not the place for that in my opinion.....12ozprophet (the only prophet that matters on this forum) is made up of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Atheists, Agnostics, etc etc.

 

this thread is seriously fucking up my high.

 

I literally had this conversation with my girlfriend 3 days ago....aggressive promoting of one's faith is very off-putting to many people and probably does more detriment to your cause. When I was younger I actually had a lot more respect for your faith, but aggressive preaching and lightweight insulting of other people's religions and faiths has caused me to lose A LOT OF RESPECT for Christianity and Christians in general....

 

so as Ghandi once said:

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

 

I hate stifling someones ability to speak their mind, and I swore that as a moderator, I would be objective as possible, but this is getting fucking ridiculous......knock this shit off for real....or just keep it in the news section.

 

channel zero is for casual discussion and humor....not serious ass topics about God and religion....especially when baiting people in with your title and your poll....which is divisive as fuck.

 

once again....knock this shit off.

[massgraff]

The earth is already in space..

[One Man Banned]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oGbsc-uF_M

[One Man Banned]

[One Man Banned]