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In an effort to make up for Tanya Harding

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In an effort to make up for the humiliating actions of hub-cap wielding Tanya Harding, a Portland man attacked Limp Bizkit lead Fred Durst at an area mall. Durst was in Clackamas auditioning guitar players to fill an empty spot in the band. While on his way back from the food court, where witnesses say Durst consumed a Hot Dog on a Stick and three Gyros, an 18 year old man came up and threw a cream pie at the back of Durst's head. Durst immediately dropped to the floor and curled up into a fetal position while his body guards attempted to restrain the attacker. When sheriff's deputies arrived, Durst sporting a new clean pair of pants, told the suspect, "You're just lucky my bodyguards were here to protect you." The 18 year old suspect claimed he "didn't realize he was attacking a star." Claims that the star resembles his next door neighbor, Guy Love the president of the local chapter of NAMBLA.


Okay, this really happened, Durst got hit with a pie, the guy got arrested, and the band continued auditions. The local paper doesn't have it on their website and this was more fun that retyping it.


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Guest Pilau Hands

"Guy Love, the president of the local chapter of NAMBLA."



guy love...


i can't even finish that thought anymore.

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