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KILZ FILLZ

Advice - dating a chick w a kid

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Halp. 2.5 yr old son.

 

 

I get it that time ain't the same

Plan ahead

Blah blah blah

Kid always comes first

Blah blah blah

Can't text and say "let's get bfast!"... Gotta give notice and plan ahead even if kid is invited

 

 

Her kid is great and I've already met him a bunch of times. He's a sweetheart and she is amazing. The kids dad has mental issues and is all fucked up .... Seems like meth from what I've heard. I don't know whether mother doesn't realize it or doesn't want to tell me. She's told me a couple stories and I've asked her WTF she was thinking even getting involved etc. typical girl answers "he made me feel special"..... He's is prison now.... "RUN!!!!!!" Right?

 

Probably a crazy head case but she's grabbed my attention and is fun as hell. Makes me feel young again even though she's older than me. I'm 28 she's 32 but we have so much fun. I can tell the times we go out together are a major release for her and she loves it. And I do too. We hang out w her kid and her mom too watching nfl and everything is cool.

 

Only prospect in the last year of being single I've felt a major FEEL for.

 

 

 

Give me advice you old faggots. Or words or wisdom or whatever you faggots call it.

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I'm no old faggot, 24 to be exact.

 

But I have plenty of experience in this department. I dated a girl with a kid for almost 3 years because she was the hottest piece of ass I had ever had(still to this day) but in the end it was not worth it.

 

Before you get in too deep, get out. Best advice I can send ya player, I will only bang, not date women with the childrens.

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It is difficult, I am a dad with a son that i have on weekends and it depends on what you want from the relationship.

 

TDB is dope with my kid, she knows he doesn't need a mum and she doesn't want to be his mum, they just have a good relationship. The only difficulty you will have is it the dad is going to start being a dick about it. Best way is to just go with it and keep an eye on how things are going, especially with how the child reacts and changes (because they do and quickly)

 

As for the dad has he said he wants any involvement with the kid once he is out of jail?

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I do not think that "the kid always comes first" is a hard and fast rule for relationships involving children, sometimes the relationship between the adults needs to come first if it is going to survive. I know at first glance that this goes against some peoples perceptions of what single parenting and step parenting is like but it is how I see it.

 

A "ready made" has it's pros and cons, like anything. I would posit that unless the relationship is kept short, her feelings will probably progress pretty quickly and if you are developing a relationship with her child, all the more so. The pro to this is that you will get to feel a emotional intensity and bonding and all, the con being that only a real douche can play the "I am not in a relationship just seeing where it goes and getting some pussy" for very long in such a game, so if you are not down you should prolly do the right thing and bounce.

 

The kid may grow up to be just like his father, keep that in mind.

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As somebody who does not want to have kids ever, my hesitation on dating women with children is that IF things go well in that relationship do you want to be the father to that child?

 

I don't. I don't care how hot she is, how cool the kid is, I don't want to be a parent.

And I wouldn't give up on that stance and all the reasons behind it because she made me feel good/young/whatever.

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But you dont have to be a father to that child. I wouldn't expect TDB to fit into that role, I dunno if it is different if a man comes into a relationship, but my kid has a mum, I have my girl and it all kinda works with my kid

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Maybe. Maybe not.

 

In BNH's case, if pops is in prison, then the odds are higher that he'll need to step into that role.

 

If the relationship were just physical and fun, fuck it, but because he's invested emotionally he has to weigh that into consideration. Step-parent might not be the same as just-parent, but its still a jump in commitment IF that relationship lasts.

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Do what feels right.

 

Fuck what any of us tell you.

 

If you dig her and she digs you, do it.

 

If not, don't do it.

 

The age difference isn't that much.

 

I wouldn't worry about that.

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From my side of the relationship, the biggest things that made me question whether to get into it with Decy were the fact he is still married, with a kid and a wife technically.

 

Suddenly not having free weekends was difficult, not gonna lie. Not just being able to do us all weekend. But we've adjusted to a pattern that works for everyone and now Decy's ex has stopped being a psycho from hell, it's easier.

 

If you're questioning it, get out, because the priority here IS the kid. End of. This kid is already dealing with a dead beat dad and a mum who seems to be dumb enough to keep that druggy fuckwit in their lives, so... I'm never gonna be #1 in my relationship with Decy the way I would be if he wasn't a dad, and I had to decide whether that was cool. It is cos, I dunno, I'm me. and i got my own stuff going on, and I'm quite happy to spend 10 hours doing my own thing while Decy and MiniDecy get their quality time.

 

Morton - when you're a "step" in the relationship, you learn the kid always comes first. The hardest thing is reconciling that with your own needs imo but it can be done.

 

edit: that sounds a bit depressing but I don't mean it to be.

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from the ages of 18 to 22 i dated a girl aged 22 to 26 with a 3 to 7 year old and a 5 to 9 year old.

 

main reason we broke up was cause she wanted me to quit school, get a mediocre job and settle down with her. thats not what i wanted out of life at such a young age (high school diploma and mediocre job for the rest of my life)

 

you just have to look at things in the long term. can you see yourself starting a family with her? can you see yourself getting married to her? raising the kid and your own kids eventually? etc.

 

if not, then you might want to move on before you get attached. i got attached and made it hard to move on but so glad i did.

 

remember, shes 32, so if youre not planning on settling down for life with her, you might be wasting her time and her chances of finding someone to settle down with down the road.

 

true, do what makes you happy, but remember to use the brain as much as the heart.

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i don't like kids so i'm prolly not the person to ask

 

and i pretty much refuse to date parents

 

but i've been off the market for over 6 years now anyway

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what no pix?

i dont think that age difference is drastic but her methed out baby-daddys just got released from jail issues may be a red flag for some

idk you her or the kid so would be best to keep it mellow.

Figure out whats best for numero uno and then follow through with it butt

you could also become Uncle Boats

 

"Uncle Boats hugs mommy laying down.."-said her kid in a few years

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