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Your best shitty fucked up crap at work stories


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On the first day of my first 'office' job I was given a stack of old quotes and was told to call to remind the customer of the quote and see if they want to order.

 

I was given this 80s type office phone and the 1 button stuck so every time I pressed 1 it would dial '11111111111111'. So I had to constantly hang up and start over since all long distance phone numbers begin with 1.

 

Like most offices you have to dial 9 to get an outside line.

 

After about 30 minutes into it the office manager announces over the PA: "The police are outside. Someone in this office has been repeatedly dialing 911 and hanging up."

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i once worked at a supermarket and proceeded to piss in the floor cleaning machine, everyday day i was there.

 

giggling my way trough the store while it stank like piss while they couldn't pinpoint the source was one hell of a way to spend my youth,

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one of my bosses loves to come in and take floor-clearing, dramatic shits right as the workday begins, every morning. i wash my hands every morning when i come in. we cross paths 3-4 times a week in the bathroom, usually when i'm wading through the poop mist.

really hard to keep a straight face when he tries to tell me serious things immediately afterwards.

 

Your post reminds me of this pooping at work guide I found and sent around a few weeks back. Said something like when you & the boss enter the bathroom at the same time you should make like your washing your hands & bail. Since I can't find it now, I'll leave this:

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