Sex Addiction

[UPS!]

So...... we have a thread for the drunks and smack hounds(I mean that in the most loving way possible), but there are other forms of addiction.

 

Alcoholism runs in my family, and I have had bouts with the bottle, but fortunately I have always managed to persevere without professional help. As far as drugs go, we all at least dabble at some point in our lives, but I have also managed to avoid any form of substance addiction.

 

However, I have struggled for most of my post-adolescent life with sexual addiction.

I'm not talking about beating my dick too many times a day or watching too much porn.

What I ''suffer'' from on a daily basis is basically being consumed with around the clock sexual thoughts, urges and cravings that typically cannot be filled no matter how many times I get off.

 

For a long time I thought sex addiction was made up, much the same way I thought drunkards blamed their habits on ''alcoholism as a disease''. Now that I am a bit older and a bit wiser I see that both are completely real things.

 

There are a lot worse problems to have I know, believe me, but as comical as this might sound to some my sex drive is consuming a huge part of my life.

 

Do any of my fellow Oonzters deal with anything similar?

[CALIgula]

Hello, my name is CALIgula and I'm a sexaholic.

[therealcityonsmash]

It's real, specifically when dope's involved.

[theprotester]

I would put myself at whatever the lower rung of this would be. Perhaps 'unnecessarily excitable'.

 

I guess I could trace back times where it has effected my actions/outcomes in a negative way, so by definition alone I guess I'm susceptible to the condition.

 

I can imagine if it's overwhelming it would be completely exhausting, and perhaps even frustrating/furious?

[thebosdj]

Yeah dude... I feel like with every female I see throughout my day... I immediately go to "smash or trash." More often than not, it's smash even if they are very questionable. And even my porn game is getting too crazy... I'm lookin for weirder and wierder shit everytime. I used to get drunk and go to massage parlors alot... it was pretty bad. Spending all my money in a weekend. I got a girlfriend who I live with. It helps keep me in check... but I struggle with cheating all the time. I've never seen a psychiatrist or psychologist, idk which one would diagnose, but I'm pretty sure I've got some sort of sex addiction.

[theprotester]

How obvious is it to other people?

[UPS!]

Well the worst part is that now that my girl and I have a year under our belt and we're getting serious I have to sort of keep it pent up.

 

Last year(senior year of college) when I was single, I literally had a black book of atleast a dozen women I could text/call to arrange sex so I kept busy, and would constantly rotate or add to my stable.....that made things worse long term I'm sure, but at the time it kept me sedated as I was fucking literally three times a day minimum, that keeps you fed so to speak.

 

Now though that I'm a one woman man things are growing more and more complicated....you can't exactly air things out to your women about how you think about banging anything that moves. I still have ''guy'' talks with my boys, but I don't see them as much and many of them are either wifed up or don't really have any game so that they could relate.

 

I don't know how obvious it is to people, but whenever I'm out in public I sometimes literally lose myself in staring down girls and get caught up in my mind fucking. It's not always bad or distracting but sometimes it's so bad I can't pay attention to what my friends are saying to me because I'm salivating over some skirt across the room.

 

Again there are way worse problems to have, but I do feel that I have become a bit consumed by it.

[theprotester]

Indeed, it's an inward stress that you're having to deal with. Whatever it actually IS doesn't matter, it's when your life plans are changing to accommodate that THING - there's trouble.

 

I was consumed by the conquest side, but now at my age, it has not held up as a great rap sheet over time.

[UPS!]

That is literally the epicenter of my problem....right now while I'm young, hung and dumb I just want to fuck any woman I can lure to my bed...which was working great...

 

Then I met my girl, who is literally everything I have wanted in a woman(within reason), and could easily see her being the one if I ever want to settle down...the problem is I don't want that to happen anytime soon and now I feel stuck.

 

I'm falling for her further and we're becoming more and more intricate in each others lives but I struggle on a daily basis not to sleep around and I would for the first time in my life actually regret doing so, but the urges are getting irresistible and I feel like I either need to get a grip or break up with her just so I won't hurt someone I love.

[theprotester]

Girl doesn't want to see me ever again, she only moved here recently, we had a ball - but now she's doing bar work and all the stories about me are coming out.

 

Made my bed, lay in it and pray for the best.

[UPS!]

That's the problem with telling she devils deep dark sexual secrets...we all have our kinks.

 

That's another reason it's hard to not have a side chick, be a romantic to your girlfriend and a freak to your mistress....if only life were that simple again.

[Fist 666]

I've got plenty of problems, but this isn't one of them. I don't envy those that do.

[SMdoubleXL]

i may have to log in my other account to talk here haha

 

i def see the impact of (name any opiate based pill) and my sex life .

 

sex drive is ridiculous even at my old age.

it hasn't changed the thoughts consume me -i cant even look at some younger guy without thinkin how exciting it would be to bed him

 

and i have a boyfriend.

but i think the thought of new sex makes me wild and its all i think about ..

 

 

 

 

i dont know if its an addiction, i thought everyone was a creep. and I def don't think its a problem

[UPS!]

All I can say is the world needs alot more women that think like you do....

 

God I can't count how many times I was flirting hard with a cougar/milf and things were going swimmingly, only to have them put the brakes on because of my age.

 

So what I'm your sons age, I'm not your fucking son!

 

At least that hasn't stopped all of them....still plenty of grey fish in the sea.

[Crocodile Tears]

I've gone to 1/2 a dozen meetings. Some of the shit you hear in there will rupture your brain.

I haven't been to one in over a year.

[UPS!]

Please elaborate.... no matter how bad my addiction gets I'd never go to a support group.

 

Although id love to hear other people's stories and misery with it.

[MedicineCabinet]

everyone is a pervert by nature

 

a few are asexual & some are just in denial

[Gucci Mane LaFlare]

realtalk im a sex addict fam and that shit has fucked my life up. i be jaggin off like 7 times a day.

 

shit made me weird af tbh

 

but im about to do this nofap november and bounce the fuck back nigga

[UPS!]

7 a day? Holy shit....

 

I tug it a few times a day if I can't see the girl but can't say I've hit that mark before.

 

We're all weird and perverted, it's just about how much of it you let out.

[CALIgula]

Please elaborate.... no matter how bad my addiction gets I'd never go to a support group.

 

 

ive considered going...the only thing that stops me is the fact that most of the time, they are held at churches, and i know they have some ulterior motives in first helping with the addiction and secondly trying to help people "find Jesus"...dont want to divulge too much in this thread, but my addiction has gotten me into lots of trouble.

[theprotester]

One of the main reasons it's always held at the church is because nowhere else wants it held there.

 

There's always going to be those feelings in a church environment. Use the back door.

[CILONE/SK]

Use the back door.

 

Appropriate for this thread.

[Crocodile Tears]

Please elaborate.... no matter how bad my addiction gets I'd never go to a support group.

 

Although id love to hear other people's stories and misery with it.

 

 

Not to be a dick but fuck you man. Getting a hard on for someone else's misery is gonna fuck your life up for a while if you don't fix that way of thinking, its just awful. its the core root that separates good people from bad people. I have been tempted to feel that way but I always feel a sense of good like a good angel telling me do the right thing, don't take pleasure in that shit.

I like you Cunt so I am saying this as a homie not to be an asshole. Fix that shit. It will make you happier.

 

 

There are Co-ed nights (sat night) All men night (thurs) women's night, I don't remember what night that was.

 

I went to 6 or 7 Co-ed nights. I felt like a sleaze going there till I went. The people there are all characters.

Every Single One of them.

And there were Textbook creeps there, types of dudes you think you'd see at porn conventions. Trench coats giant white grandpa sneakers and the whole 9 not pushing a day over 35. It was magnificent. But the chicks all dimes. NO JOKE, It was like bizarro world.

 

The hardest thing for me to get used to was the terminology and semantics.

 

Words like "qualifier" and "trigger" people who go to these programs use them to structure their life. A lot of them are in several different ones like Alcanon and AA or NA and they say "in program" Like an industry term, not in the program. but what we are taking about is;

S.L.A.A sex and love addicts anon.

 

I don't want to say too much here because I actually found a bit of solace there and respect the struggle.

But each meeting is an hour and half. One person who is on their 8th to 10th step speaks about their experience then for 15 mins then there is 30 mins of 10 random people opening up and telling their exp. or what they are going through.

I never said a word.

I actually felt like a fraud and I was jacks enlarged colon. I really felt like Ed Norton because my problems were no where near as severe as some of these poor souls.

 

If you choose or is you're picked you get 3 mins to speak. These people would start off with these outlandish tremendous horrible stories that you couldn't imagine on your worst day, hotel rooms, bathrooms, truck stop showers and subway situations. But... BUT by the time they were finished they were saying the exact thoughts I had in my head at one time or another, and had the same disposition about sex and love as I had and I felt like I belonged there a little more every time, we were all suffering together. Really unfortunate, I thought. It made me realize I had similar pain but no where near as tragic as some of these people. Really ugly sad stuff out there. Be grateful for what you have.

 

 

 

One of the main reasons it's always held at the church is because nowhere else wants it held there.

 

There's always going to be those feelings in a church environment. Use the back door.

 

 

The church is suppose to be a judgement free area. I am not religious and get sick when I hear all that god bullshit. For us agnostics they say "higher power" though I think some of the foundations are religious based. I think it needs some updating but it was established over a half century ago when everyone was a bible banger. But the meetings have been held in any place that will allow them. If you have thought about going.

You should go.

Its a strange tranquility I have never experienced before. You're only doing good by going, you're supporting people who really need the help indirectly, just by being there and listening. And whether you know it or not you're taking a step toward good and giving out good makes you feel good, even if only for a short while.

[CALIgula]

I really felt like Ed Norton because my problems were no where near as severe as some of these poor souls.

 

 

same author that wrote fight club, chuck palahniuk wrote a book called choke, where the main character is a sex addict and attends sexaholics anonymous meetings....interesting read.

 

 

thanks for your insight and perspective croc.

[theprotester]

I have and do still attend, out here in the bush it'll always be in a church. Which is fine. And the pastors will without wanting to, have those thoughts. But the respect is awesome, and I would never ever discourage someone that is thinking of checking it out from checking it out. Especially if you might be like me and living in a small arse country town - they can call it 'anonymous' until their fuckin' face falls off, am I right?

 

You're dead right, don't let the venue sway your feelings about checking out a meeting.