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That one time.......


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times that cool things happen to you


couple week ago i found a purse with a bunch of money in it.

one time i boned two girls at one time.

one time i smoked pcp and my hands were two big balloons

one time i kickfliped over a 7 stair handrail

lately i have been burnin on some walls too.




your turn

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TOT i got stopped for writing on a sign with a marker and the cop took my marker and told me to go away


TOT a motorcycle cop told me simply to "knock it off" after seeing me catch a whiteout tag on a sign. He didn't even come to a stop.


TOT I existed yesterday. amazing day.

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That one time me and an ex were at a bar playing darts and got challenged to a game by a couple guys who brought their own darts with them and we kicked their asses with the shitty bar darts.

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TOT yesterday when this hispanic gentleman almost side swiped me, then flipped me off and slammed on the brakes, I pulled over, got out of my car and he sped off. I met him at the next light and he wouldn't roll his window down. My anger problems have been hitting real frequently lately...

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that one time i was drunk and coked up at a party.


it was raining outside just as it was in my soul. i looked around and saw people content with their puny lives , working 50 hours a week, fucking once a week and paying their mortgage producing there firstborns. the only reason i attended was a dear old friend who bettered his old ways and became a addition to society.


bored with the conversation and agitated with the questions about where i did get my income, what i wanted to with my life and questioning why i would wear a jogging pants combined with a fancy blouse. the judgement was baffling from these soul dead people so i decided to drink all their whisky and reminisce long gone days with my lost friend. all this talk about shit that didn't matter made my bowels bellow in distress.


however the owner of the house made some remarks he shouldn't have about my beliefs and morals. having learned the hard way that these people don't have the same ethics as most of us here, i followed their passive aggressive ways of handling beef.


i explored the house and step by step my heart sank while walking through this ikea filled and banksy look alike printed canvas hung, soulless, suburban hell. my bowels whispered to me that they were ready for their daily walk through the park.

i entered a room and saw a good ol' cd player. lo and behold it was plugged in and out of sheer nostalgia my hands moved automatically towards the open button and my mind clicked while the cd player opened smoothly. i'm gonna shit in the cd player.


i bend over and open sesame the brown gold came out. firstly it was a little solid while a further down the road it was a nice but firm lighter shade of brown semi hard glorius poop. i giggled like miley cyrus thinking about horse dick and pulled my pants up. tired but satisfied i looked around and thought it was good etiquette to close it, so i did. the poor thing tried for a centimeter but then ejected itself again. there was a sweater lying around so i got that and helped it. the shit was everywhere while it gagged shit like a asian pornstar gargles cum. the poor thing had shit dripping everywhere. out of nowhere it starts playing, after a few lines in the penny dropped.


it was playing fucking nickelback, so lady's, gentlemen and shemales. that's the day i learned nickelback was shit.

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That one time on april 20th a vending machine kept giving me my dollar back and a $1 credit and

the change from the snacks ordered.. cleared it out, then used change for drinks.

tot i got change from the cashier and and it was more than i had paid.


...TOT I managed to roll a bowling ball so fast/hard that it went into the gutter, flew into the next lane and got a strike...


Tot i mishit a golf ball at mini golf and it bounced off course to a different hole and went in


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TOT i got 5-6 feet of air in my 96' isuzu rodeo,


TOT i smoked weed in the buckees bathroom (its a giant gas station with tons of people in it that sells beef jerky)


TOT i was surfing and a fisherman caught me with a treble hook in my thigh about an inch from my nutsack

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