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the sleep piss chronicles.

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I have been contemplating making this thread for a long time based on my own personal experience.

 

If any of you fellers or ladies have been lucky enough to enjoy this sleep walking/piss drunk situation post your story.

 

I personally awoke one fine afternoon to my father and brother laughing very hard and as I asked what it was they were laughing at I was informed of the following.

 

dad: Do you know what you did last night ?

me: What are you talking about ?

dad: I woke up to go to work and you were standing in the hallway pissing and i asked you what you were doing. You told me to close the door because you were pissing.

 

At the time I lived in an apt with my dad.

 

Either way I spent a long time thinking about what I had done, severely ashamed.

 

Please provide better tales of said circumstance.

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Finally! Something I can relate to! :P

Not that interesting buuuuuut

One time I got really really drunk. I was asleep and dreaming about something, felt really warm in my weiner area. Woke up, didn't know why I felt that way, felt around, found out I was in the midst of pissing in my friend's roommate's bed. Wooooo.

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Also, one time, got drunk at friend's house, too drunk to drive home, slept in his livingroom. My friend also sleeping in said livingroom full of dudes wakes up to find a guy that was also planning on sleeping there standing up, full on pissing on the coffee table. Commotion arises, and friend's wife comes out screaming at the guy, telling him to get the fuck out of her house. Dude is now banned from said house 4ever.

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2005 it was one of my best friends birthday. Bought 2 bottles of jäger and 2 six packs of red bull. Got a group together probably 15 people. Killed both bottles and someone had brought those Bacardi pre mixed bullshit. It was the blue one called hurricane. I drunkenly shouted this shit ain't shit and proceeded to drink from both handles of Bacardi at the same time. Fast forward to way later that night. my younger bro said I woke up from a dead sleep. Walked to my closet pulled out one of my shoes and started to piss in it. He tried to stop me and I said wtf you Tryna look at my shit or what? Woke up the next morning with a big blue stain from my neck to pants like from puke. Had no idea how I got home, who drove, how I got in. My friend that had the birthday ended up at some house 30 minutes south down the 101. Checked my shoe when my bro told me and sure enough it was true.

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in front of mother stood butt neakyd pissing in the bath tub telling her "its cool, ma, its cool, just taking a leak".

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i've never done this

 

 

but when i was a teen, we were at a small house party, where the mother was upstairs asleep

the night wound down

a friend was stupid drunk

mom wakes up and sees him in the corner of her room

she says "sean, what are you doing?"

he says "oh it's ok ms.smith, i'm just using the bathroom"

 

he was pissing on a basket of her clean laundry

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When I was 18, I went to a campground with a few people in upstate CT. One girl, ended up being my first wife. I was drinking multiple 40s of St Ides.

 

Of course, we didn't plan ahead and didn't bring enough food.

 

I am drunk and hungry.

 

So we were sneaking hotdogs and hamburgers from other camp sites.

 

The campsite had a ice cream eating contest.

 

I was hungry and it cost $1 to enter.

 

So I joined and ate ice cream like I haven't ever eaten anything in my life.

 

After working thru intense brain freezes, I won (of course).

 

Continued to drink 40s. Probably had 3-4 by then.

 

Passed out on ground.

 

Still have slight memory of the sun coming up and me having to piss.

 

Laying in my back, I pulled it out and tried to piss to the side and not get piss on myself.

 

Didn't work.

 

Passed out again.

 

Woke up next to big pile up thrown up ice cream and covered in piss.

 

Also, major not able to walk type of hangover.

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I also slept pissed twice in one night on a cruise ship. Once in a fake potted plant in front of a bunch of people. This was after I got in a fight and choked out some punk kid.

 

Side note: I have found that you can pretty much do anything you want to on a cruise ship without consequence.

 

Next was after I passed out in my room and tried to piss next to the front door. My wife was with me, but we weren't married yet.

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One night I was chilling and drinking with my girl and she passed out on my bed. I wasn't tired yet and wanted to secks so I decided I would try and wake her up by going down on her.

After 15 seconds she got up startled, drunkenly walked over to the doorway near my bathroom, squatted and started pissing on this big bag of empty paint cans I had left there.

Once I realized what was happening I was like wtf nahh and guided her to the toilet.

 

Made her clean it up once she regained full consciousness. :D

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I've never done this, but I've woken up and vomited and immediately gone back to sleep. That's always a fun surprise to wake up to.

 

A friend pissed into his air conditioner.

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Under the kitchen sink at a house party, under couch cushion at a house party, in the sock drawer at home, on the mini fridge in a hotel room, passed out in the passenger seat of a car, I think maybe on a open pizza box in a fridge but am not sure.

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I don't think I've ever done this.

 

I have woken up covered in vomit on several occasions, though.

 

My old roommate has a picture of me passed out on my bed, covered in pink (vodka crans) vomit with one shoe off and my pants half way off.

 

My ex wife has pictures of me passed out on the bathroom floor with a shirt and shoes on. No pants, socks, or underwear.

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^only when you're dehydrated?

 

one drunk nite i awoke while peeing in my cats litterbox.

Im sure there have been worse nights for me but i cant remember at the moment..

 

third wheeling it on a short trip with my boy and his girl.

spent the entire day/night drinking wandering a new town. ended up having to share a hotel room bc everything was booked. woke up in the middle of the night and dood was standing on the other side of the room peeing on the curtain. once i realized what was happening and that my bag was under the curtain. i started screaming aye what the fuck!! which woke up his girl and she started yelling and he turns to her and says"____ sshhhh you're going to wake up the neighbors" he then proceeded to drink the cup of water we were ashing into. i did not stop him. fucker didnt remember any of it but bought me new clothes the next day/

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^only when you're dehydrated?

 

one drunk nite i awoke while peeing in my cats litterbox.

Im sure there have been worse nights for me but i cant remember at the moment..

 

third wheeling it on a short trip with my boy and his girl.

spent the entire day/night drinking wandering a new town. ended up having to share a hotel room bc everything was booked. woke up in the middle of the night and dood was standing on the other side of the room peeing on the curtain. once i realized what was happening and that my bag was under the curtain. i started screaming aye what the fuck!! which woke up his girl and she started yelling and he turns to her and says"____ sshhhh you're going to wake up the neighbors" he then proceeded to drink the cup of water we were ashing into. i did not stop him. fucker didnt remember any of it but bought me new clothes the next day/

 

 

 

A mate did that on his first date… Opened the cupboard door and pissed in her hand bag :lol:

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There was this rich kid who i knew back in high school and me and my friends used him to throw parties at his house.

We crashed at his spot we are all in the same room and dude gets up standing next to his bed and straight pisses his pants getting his sheets and his carpet soaked. I was telling him to go to the bathroom but he was too drunk or too deep asleep to respond to me i dont fucking know. Anyways he ended getting back under his piss soaked sheets and mattress while wearing his piss soaked pants and socks.

That was the first time...

The second time we had a party at his place he got too drunk and went to bed way early. The party was in full swing and dude sleepwalks out his bed over to the fan he had turned on and started pissing right into the fan! Piss was getting flung all over him, the floor, wall, ceiling, furniture. And me and like a group of 11 people watched it go down.

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PISSED ALL OVER MY GIRLS BEHIND ONE NIGHT PASSED OUT HAMMERED AND SPOONING. SHE SHOOK ME AWAKE MIDPISS AND WAS FUCKING FURIOUS. I SLEPT NAKED ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR AFTER THAT WHILE SHE STAYED UP CLEANING THE MATTRESS.

 

SOMEHOW SHE STILL LOVED ME AFTER THAT.

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