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Police Story Thread


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not intended to be a koolgraffstoriezsking thread, plenty of us are assholes and break the law without writing on a single thing. post up!!


obligatory black flag


one of mine to start it off:


one night about a year ago, i decided that it was sunday night and that drinking a fifth of evan williams was a great idea. and i decided to go out painting? logic.


i tucked a can of valspar into a brown paper bag, the kind you get at the liquor store, as i was thinking "oh it's stealthy the can will just look like a bottle and no one will say shit to me."


so i black out after walking just a few blocks and don't remember anything for about 4 hours.


i come to, sitting on the sidewalk, with a cop standing over me. i'm giving him my info and i somehow get him to call my roommate to pick me up even though i distinctly remember pointing at the wrong number in my phone and saying something like "heerecallemthismyrmate."


the part that i don't remember, i learn later, is that after i got picked up and my roommate showed up the cop showed the paint and suggested i get treatment for "this huffing problem he's got, i mean, wow!"

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last year a buddy and I entered into a commuter train yard as we always did in Brazil when a Dog came barking... My buddy and i jumped up between the cars so we wouldnt get our legs chewed off.

Sure enough the transit cops came that patrol the yard with guns drawn. When they figured out what we were about to do, they said "you made us get up for this?"


we got down and I could only think fuck fuck fuck...

they got our documents and realized I wasnt from there.


They took us to a dif part of the yard and told my Brazilian friend to punch me in the face and in return I would punch him in the face. The whole time they were laughing. I looked at my friend and told him to punch me as hard as he could, just to let these dudes know i wasnt going to give the the satisfaction of letting them get to me. My friend knocked the shit out of me. I almost fell down and they cops were cursing me and telling me to get up, ect, ect. I then punched him in the face..


They took our paint and let us leave.. im guessing so they wouldnt have to deal with paper work.

My buddy was super pissed. I was happy i wasnt in jail in a 3rd world country. its not fun. Losing the paint and getting punched in the face sucked but at least I went home that night. fuck all cops

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couple friends of mine got caught puffin in a park

out of a damn bong. (effin 18 year old logic)

cop took the bong, the dank, and told em they'd get letters in the mail about their court case

.... which never came. such an old story. one of those buddies killed himself a couple years ago.


misty bong water mammaries

of the way we were

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Russians are crazy tho..


One fall night I had been given two free tickets to a soccer game. Sweet.

made plans to meet the homie at the stadium before the start

so in an attempt to think ahead I brought a bag of paint with a couple beers

stashed it on my way. After the game we were walking back feeling good

the home team won and my bag was still in the high weeds right where I left it.

Cracked a beer, passed a can to dude and we were on our way.

First wall we see is this corner building on a main street.

Coast is clear at the moment and as he begins his first letter the cap clogs.

Damn. He gives it back but right after he passes the can back to me

(I didnt even have time to drop it in my bag, just snugged it under my arm inside my jacket)

An undercover pulls up window down. asking us what we were doing.

I was quick to respond, "nothing officer we just left the soccer game we're on the way to the bar."

5-0 "Oh yeah how did they do"

"It was a good game they won 3-1"

5-0 "have a good night"

and because that cap clogged we did

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One of my favourites was getting rolled up on at a supposedly 'chill spot' - two wagons, lots of noise. Then after making the right clicks and grunts, they asked us what we were planning to do, I produced the blackbook and showed them, showed them how much paint we had to achieve it, and they let us go for it, even kept the lights on for a few minutes while we chalked up.


Building was gov. property, but trackside, so people were bemused as to how we got so much time at the spot.

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I've got plenty but a fun one was me and this dude doing a legal, an obvious legal with our cars playing music, midday, mad ladders and paint blah blah... This bitch cop rolls up all hard telling us we're going to jail, we're like Ma'am we have permission, that's why we're doing the whole side with ladders and such. She sarcastically knocks on the door of the business knowing they're closed and says "See? No one here and in a sketchy area, (was kinda mini industrial zone) now let me see your ID's". I said all polite sucking up to this cunt but I haven't done anything and she's all "I'm taking you all in" back up come, seemed they realized she was a bitch and just said go home, do it when the owner is here...


Later that dumb bitch one night walked into traffic without looking and got blasted by this under-age drunk on a main street. My boy recorded it to VHS from the news (2002) and we watched it repeatedly laughing our asses off. Few years later I saw it on some stupid cable show, World's Dumbest Criminals type shit.


HA!!! Found it on Youtube! Take that bitch! It wasn't a police station just a bank where they all meet up on weekend nights, and while she recovered, she was fucked up and in a wheelchair for months.


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