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DENO

Confessions of a Ninja

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This has all the tell tale signs of some one suffering from a manic episode.

 

My boy ate too many shrooms once and had a history of bi polar disorder in his fam (like "castle's" dad) and was through the moon happy and excited about life for weeks after his trip.

 

He would ramble on ad infinitum about how he was gonna start the next fortune 500 company, told me he started believing in Jah and that he was was real (don't necessarily disagree), never felt happier etc etc fill in your delusion.

 

Long story short, he ended up getting fired from his well paying job and his parents hospitalized him for a minute because they could tell he was off his rocker. About a month later he snapped out of it and was like yeah I went crazy....

 

So DENO if I were you buddy I might try to seek some help.

 

Hang in there brah, one love.

 

I get what you're saying. But this emotion has consumed me for about 5 or 6 years now straight. There are also no hallucinogens at play here. Once in a rare while, once in a blue moon, there is no catch. There is no 'other' story. I am running on mental mantras, on fearing missed opportunity. Ive had friends go maniac too ( even recently) and they are going to 'make 20 million a year' I get delusions guys. But once in a while, some average kid goes on to be very rich with no negative repercussions. Before I lay this to rest, let me share an example of a scenario I picture and envision to gain motivation...

 

Lets say you are walking down the street after the absolute worst day in a while. Youre hanging your head low, sad, and you are in no rush to get to your next destination, you are sad, you are depressed. As your trudging in your oversized tims, you kick up what looks like an instant lotto ticket that was discarded way too carelessly. You reach down to grab what ' cant be ', and guys... it actually is the big one. 10 million dollar winner. In this scenario there is no catch, you get to keep the money. Now envision yourself. Would you forget the shitty day and feel elation?! Even if briefly, even for a split second, could you see yourself just FEELING pure joy?! If so you are in luck. Why you ask?

 

Because you are conditionable. The joy of large sums of money and feeling that it can erase some problems is completely learned. No 3 year old would become excited over being gifted a big stack. Even if the stack were big enough to buy your castle. Your brain, over the course of years of tailoring input has learned to link emotion to stimulus. Happiness to money. Yeah so?

 

Well, what if you took a handful of mushies? You would ingest chemicals that would bind to receptors in your body, change the chemistry of cells, and change your emotional state. With a lottery ticket, there is no ingested chemical. There is nothing exogenous providing chemical. Its you. You are becoming elated just due to a visual reward triggering a chain of neurons whos last target to zap is a cell that will make you feel awesome.

 

Heres the point. What is to stop one of you writers from attempting to self program the correlation of the feeling of joy with a stimulus that occurs more often than winning 10 million? (How can I correlate the two? It would take me another post to explain). What if you were soo skilled at the self programming that you linked that minute shot of joy to something like just being alive. Can you control your own mind, can you tactically brainwash yourself, through sober meditation and analyzing whatever necessary, to always be ' seeing the 10 million' just in everyday life. Can you steal the emotion like a Crook, and use it to create a Castle?

 

One Love

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Whats cool, and the reason for this post, is that anyone can do this. Its never too late. The goal of my post was to cast a net and see if anyone was interested or had a similar story. If so, pm me.

 

One

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Whats cool, and the reason for this post, is that anyone can do this. Its never too late. The goal of my post was to cast a net and see if anyone was interested or had a similar story. If so, pm me.

 

One

 

But you've not actually done anything. You're earning $0 income, and you are so scared of the reality of who you really are, and that maybe, just maybe nobody will ever like you - so you pretend to be other people to constantly distance yourself from the one person you fear the most.

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Whats cool, and the reason for this post, is that anyone can do this. Its never too late. The goal of my post was to cast a net and see if anyone was interested or had a similar story. If so, pm me.

 

One

 

tell us more

 

PM Sent.

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5 or 6 years of this? Seems like prolonged psychosis. Get some help, man. Group meetings, psychologist/psychiatrist if you can afford it, contact your mother.

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But you've not actually done anything. You're earning $0 income, and you are so scared of the reality of who you really are, and that maybe, just maybe nobody will ever like you - so you pretend to be other people to constantly distance yourself from the one person you fear the most.

 

 

Ive done nothing? I've done enough to gross a rock before im 30. Im not scared lol, the reality is im a person whos winning. Never like me? Please refer to my posts. Mad friends and a beautiful woman of choice. Im giving away the antidote for complacency my dude. Dont fight it

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