Soup forgot his password Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 In a car accident. They hit four or five turkeys in the road before smashing into a tree. Real blood bath. Cops found my brother's phone inside a dead turkey about three miles away. We're guessing there was no reception to call for help, so before the remaining vengeful turkeys overwhelmed the only survivor in the wreckage, he managed to dial 911 and jam his phone up one of the turkeys asses. The constipated bird succumbed to his injuries a few miles away with full bars. At the funeral, however, a bunch of cousins I didn't know I had came out and asked if I remembered them. Last time i saw them I was like three and mostly retarded, so I recalled the only memory I had: one of them liked olives. They came from all over the fucking mid-west. Michigan, idaho, Ohio, and missouri, so next summer I'm planning a shitty fucking vacation to see where they live and make memories with adorable fucking children that all look like me. For those of you who are orphans or adopted, i just want to say how fucking awesome it is to have family that's actually related to me. Must suck not to know where you come from, even if where you come from is the god-forsaken midwest. I know a lot of you hipster douchebags live in these medieval states so I'm wondering what advice you have to give me before I go on my epic journey into the seventh layer of hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silba Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Chicago is the best city in the world, I was almost offended at your jabs at the midwest. Then I remembered us Chicagoans dont consider ourselves part of them hicks. Fuck this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Damn dude, sorry about your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Turn on your PMs, so i can send you a message about where you are possibly going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Are they really off? Give me a sec. I think i disabled them because i check 12oz never. We can talk about it here it doesnt matter. I'm road-tripping from californ-I-A to Sunvalley Idaho, Austin Minnesota, Some tiny detroit subburb, Kansas City, and some other places in Missouri. Big long trip all over the side of america i've never seen or had much interest in before now. I want to see the real mid-west. I'm not going to be one of those tourists that stays on the beach near the resorts and never ventures outward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silba Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 You're fucked those places all suck. Minnesota is alright, but still sucks. I hear they have good weed in Minnesota though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Dude you're supposed to be talking up these places. I'm from california. I can shit on it all by myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silba Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Man, Minnesota is great. The snow, the nothingness, the wildreness. Will turn you in to KIR in no time...if you survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Minneapolis is actually cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 You guys either thought that my comments here were serious, or you're holding out on me. I'm looking for places to go, things to do, some rocks to kick, some bears to wrassle, some hip hop dance moves to learn, whatever it is these places have going, I want to know about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I have been all over the US. I hate the midwest. Minneapolis/St Paul were alright. It really depends on what you are looking at doing. Did I say that i hate the midwest? PM sent. If your thru my locale, let me know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'm in Colorado. Hit me up while on your journeys. I've got a couch, good beer, and my dogs are pretty cool. I think KIR thought my spot was a decent stop along the way. Can't tell if your story is jokes or serious. Hope not, but if so I'm sorry, man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horse cock Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Man, Minnesota is great. The snow, the nothingness, the wildreness. Will turn you in to KIR in no time...if you survive. Minneapolis got the women...... but Duluth got the waves brah...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'm in Colorado. Hit me up while on your journeys. I've got a couch, good beer, and my dogs are pretty cool. I think KIR thought my spot was a decent stop along the way. Can't tell if your story is jokes or serious. Hope not, but if so I'm sorry, man. LOL. The only part that's real was that there was a funeral and i met a bunch of cousins. My family is fine—er, the same. My brother did not send an SOS by sticking a cellphone into a turkey's anus with his last dying breath. I dunno if I'll see colorado on this trip but eventually, man. Eventually. I think I'm going straight for idaho on this one. Wherever I go I'll be taking some bikes. I'll definitely be representing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F3 key Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 "turkeys lurking" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Account User Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 correct me if im wrong but werent you adopted by chinese people or something? you ever looked your father in the eyes, soup? (skype doesnt count) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 driving across the dakotas is sorta lonely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B!G D Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I've lived in Idaho most of my life and never been to Sun Valley. I'm assuming you're going there for skiing/snowboarding, cuz otherwise.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I just had a turkey sammich!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 And spit out a couple of errant cell phone buttons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocodile Tears Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Stay off the east coast. Thats my turf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Damn dude, sorry about your family. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/gullible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Yo Sopa, Write down your password or dont forget your password, OK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Yo Sopa, Write down your password or dont forget your password, OK? -------------- OK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50million Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Detroit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Detroit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Moms spaghetti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 Detroit. planning on detroit. Its a must after watching some tourist video and seeing all the clean wholesome RICH looking white folk acting in commerce. SUN D, i'm going to sun valley to spread ashes (NOT MY DIRECT FAMILY'S) And if there's snowboarding there's mountainbiking in the summer, so thanks for the heads up. I'll take rocks and mud in high quantities pls. Also, when we say "idaho potato" what is it we're talkin about here? Are they your average potatoes? Are they gigantic? These are things i need to know and plan for ahead of time. I don't want any fucking surprises when i get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/gullible Hows that kid of yours doing foolio? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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