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Hua Guofang

If you have a bushy beard, guess what, YOU'RE A FUCKING FAILURE!!

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Been wanting to say this for a while and this afternoon, after a cafe brunch with the wife where I was surrounded by fucking tools like this, I figured I had to get it off my chest.

 

If you have a bushy beard you are a fucking failure.

 

I'm not talking about this kind of beard:

 

tumblr_m97povtiTz1rc9zsto1_500.png19bear_190.jpg

prince_william_beard_photos_1000x0550x400-475x345.jpg

 

That stuff is normal and is more of a lifestyle choice than a statement of who you are.

 

 

However this stuff below IS a statement and it says that you are a weak willed, tepid fool that is easily led and needs to try and attract attention to compensate for the fact that no one likes you

 

5_month_beard.jpg

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Chris-Masten-and-Nick-Mal-006.jpgbeard20082.jpgbeards1.jpg

 

Bottom line first - FASHION IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO STYLE

 

However if you're idiot enough to think that growing a bushy beard is a good idea (and you're not a Canadian lumberjack or Sergent at arms of a criminal bikie gang), you're probably not going to understand my logic. So I'll spell it out.

 

 

5-7 years ago having a big bushy beard like that was considered unattractive, daggy, a turn off and generally socially uncool. Back then you would NEVER have grown a beard like that. Just like 15 years back you would never have grown a mullet or a faux-hawk until some one famous did it. However fashion follow the anti-fashion and a cult of personality. So many of us (well.., you, not fucking me) dare not to go it alone or even think for ourselves. We take our cues from those we see around us, not only in what they do but what they think. Again, 7 years ago you would never have gone out on your own and grown a bushy beard, but now, when it's "the fashion" you follow along and do so because not only is it acceptable but because it's fashionable. In other words, you didn't even think of doing this in the first place, you just followed others AND stayed within the realms of what fashion tells you is or is not.

 

You don't even make your own decisions, you don't follow your own trends. You follow what everyone else is doing simply because they are doing it. Again, you didn't even think of bearding up 7 years ago and if some one had mentioned it to you, there's no way in hell that you would have thought it a good idea. You had to wait until it was ok and you thought that you would get something out of it - attention and acceptance.

 

A beard is not a style of shoe, a kind of bag, jacket or even a hair style. A beard is on your face, the focal point of your personal image (unless you are massively fat or have 3 legs, etc.) and the point were at least 80% of you communicates with the world. The first thing you look at when you see some one is their face, when you talk to them you look at their face and when you think of some one you think of their face. Your face is your representation to the world. A massive bushy beard on your face grabs immediate attention, is unmissable and is a big step away from "the norm" in urban society, well, it was until recently. To grow a beard is to decide that you want to attract people's attention and that you want them to see you in a certain way. You cannot put a beard on and take it off as you can a hypercolour T-shirt, New Era cap or JNCO jeans. You decide and commit to a beard and you wash, trim and stylise it.

 

Growing a beard is a distinct decision, significant effort and an attempt to attract attention effect the way you are perceived. Based on what?

 

Fashion. You are a victim of fashion. You have put serious effort and thought in to making big changes to your appearance based on what is fashionable.

 

You are a fashion victim.

 

 

Now, I'm not going to say that you are bad for being a fashion victim, as I don't see anything inherently right or wrong about it and I struggle with those concepts anyway. But I will suggest that you are weak, that you validate yourself based on what others think, that you have little ability for creative thought and that you are probably materialistic, superficial and somewhat self absorbed.

 

You are weak because you don't have the courage to do what you want to do. You take your cues not from intrinsic values (do I like this, what would I like to do, what do I think) but from the values of others (this is in, it's fashionable, I want to look like that too..., or even, oh good, I can do this now without looking out of place). You either don't have the intestinal fortitude to do what you want when you want out of fear of ridicule and humiliation or you don't even have the ability to think for yourself - you wait for fashion to tell you what to do and ensure you are fashionable thereby having society validate you rather than your own sense of style.

 

Now, I'm not going to argue that everything I do is based purely on my own creative design and that I haven't fallen victim to fashion at some point in my life (I had an undercut in my hair in the 1990s and may also have worn tie-dye for a short period of time...). I'm sure that there is some level of semiology in the way I've chosen some clothing, footwear, sunglasses, etc. I don't think anyone could claim to be impervious to the pressures and sways of society and trend. However I will say that I and most people I know aren't so beholden to the fashionistas that they have taken the step to not only do something that was considered FUCKING UGLY 7 years ago but to do it all over their face!! Small steps in fashion on your feet, your back and even the top of your head are mild. However totally flipping the picture and doing that shit all over your face is huge, unmissable and undeniably based on fashion.

 

It's always worth remembering how the basis of modern fashion trends like this work. The Faux-hawk, mullet and beard are the perfect example. They are considered taboo in terms of fashion. A mullet was for bogans, the mowhawk was for punk, which is dead and the beard was, yeah, ugly and for people out in the bush, not urbanites. However there are some people amongst us who are truly stylish and autonomous in their thinking. They are usually people like David Beckham, Vivian Westwood, famous hair dressers, bar tenders in chic clubs, etc. These are the people who don't give a shit about what is fashionable and indeed, often despise fashion and those who follow it. They are the anti-fashionistas. They are the ones that people like you look up to. They are the poster-people of cool. They don't care what you think and they LOOK GOOD DOING IT.

 

You wish you were them. You want to be just like them. You copy them. The weak hordes copy them and over a short period of time the unfashionable becomes fashionable. The anti-fashion becomes fashion. The mullet, the faux-hawk and the beard become cool, only 12 months after they were considered untouchable. All because you want to be like some one else. And guess what, that some one else sees you following them and fucking hates you for it. They cut their hair, they shave and they move on because you've killed cool.

 

That's what you do. You do it because you don't have any style of your own. You do it because you envy cool. You do it because you want other people to think you are cool. You grew a beard out of envy and insecurity.

 

You are a fashion victim.

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TL-DR = people who follow fashion do so because they can't think for themselves and crave attention and validation from those around them.

 

Beards are the biggest and dumbest fashion trend ever.

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i read no words but i did read the title and scroll thru the pics and imagine if we were to dip each beard carriers head into a basin of gasoline, lit them on fire one by one as they stood in a row holding hands would they scream in pain as they melted like candles or stand proud with there bearded bretheren as they melted like candles.

 

food for thought.

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What about Muslims and rugged ass (non-Canadian) lumberjacks who aint seen pussy in years?

 

As I say in my wall of text, people who autonomously bushy-up are cool in my books.

 

It's the weak-ass tools that only do it when fashion trends tell them it's the thing to do.

 

 

Oh, and Pfffft, I'm not sleeping in that pic, I'm just checking my left boob out. It's pretty hot.

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but what if "weak ass tool" really isnt a weak ass tool afterall?

how is this conclusion reached without challenging them to a oil changing contest, wood splitting contest or beer pounding contest or some other manly man activity that allows the use of a longer growth beard??

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also didn't read, maybe later...

 

Beards aren't a new thing like kanye west diaper pants, you know that right?

 

People that stress about other people's "style" probably aren't half as stylin' as they think they are.

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I get your point and I half agree.

I personally don't rock a beard (looks like too much work and maintanence for a start), but if I were to do so I would be the victim of ridicule from all the grumpy old working class people at my job and also from people in the circles I chill in socially.

So maybe, if I wanted a beard and grew one besides all of that, I would be super cool and brave in fashion or whatever.

 

2097_1365682817.jpg

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I dunno, the tattoo trend seems worse to me, 25 years from now men with big bushy beards can show their children pictures of how silly they looked in their early twenties, men with tattoos of hands preying on their necks will probably have big bushy beards.

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I have a bushy beard..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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