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'DEAD' man walks into his own funeral..


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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2222241/Man-alive-funeral-familys-shock-identical-looking-murder-victim-lies-casket.html

 

'Dead' man surprises family by walking into his own funeral - while identical looking murder victim lies in casket

  • Gilberto Araujo had not been seen by his family for four months when police called to say he had been killed on Sunday
  • Brother, Jose Marcos Araujo, mistakenly identified similar looking Genivaldo Santos Gama and took body home for wake on Tuesday
  • The 41-year-old car washer from Alagoinhas, Brazil was told the family believed him dead by a friend in the street

A family gathering to mourn the death of a relative were shocked to tears and fainting when the deceased man in question pitched up at his own funeral on Tuesday.

In a bizarre case of mistaken identity, news of car washer Gilberto Araujo's murder had been relayed to the family by local police in Sao Paulo, Brazil on Sunday.

 

Shortly after, when the wayward vagabond's brother was called into the morgue to make a positive identification on the body, he saw his brother lying on the table and took the corpse home so his family could hold a wake.

 

 

Jose Marcos Araujo was so fooled by the likeness of fellow car washer Genivaldo Santos Gama to his brother Gilberto, that he mistakenly confirmed the body to be his sibling's.

 

Police inspector Roberto Lima said that Jose Marcos took the body to his mother's Alagoinhas home where a wake was held on Tuesday

 

 

 

 

 

'The confusion started when news started circulating that a car washer had been shot dead,' Jose Marcos' wife, Ana Paula, told the UOL Internet news portal.

 

'Police called my husband and told him that his brother had been killed and his body was at the morgue,' she explained.

 

article-2222241-15A6F0E3000005DC-779_634x459.jpg Mother's love: Gilberto Araujo's mother, Marina Santana, was shocked and overjoyed to see her son after a friend told the man that his family thought he was dead and he should go and let them know he was okay

 

Lima said the confusion was 'understandable.'

 

'The two men closely resembled each other and both worked as car washers,' Lima said adding that no further information on Gama was immediately available.

 

According to Gawker, the family had not seen or heard from Mr Araujo in the four months before the vexing case of mistaken identity.

 

A few hours before the Monday burial 'a friend of Gilberto's saw him walking down the street and told him that his family was mourning him,' he said.

 

article-2222241-15A6EF8D000005DC-174_634x440.jpg Relief: Family gather outside Mr Araujo's mother's home in Alagoinas, Brazil, after many fainted and ran away at the sight of the car washer walking into his own funeral on Tuesday

 

'So he went to his mother's home to let everyone know he was very much alive.'

 

When Araujo showed up at his wake 'some people fainted and others were so scared they ran away. It was a big shock,' family friend Maria Menezes told the G1 online news site.

 

Gilberto's mother Marina Santana told reporters: 'I am overjoyed. What mother wouldn't be after being told that her son is dead and then sees him alive.'

 

Crime-bugs-Brazil-ahead-of-2014-World-Cup.jpg

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...and in other news...

 

 

A woman has turned up alive nearly two weeks after her family held a funeral and burial for her.

 

Services for 50-year-old Sharolyn Jackson were held Aug. 3 in New Jersey.

 

Jackson's mother, Carrie Minney, says the woman in the casket looked just like her daughter, except for the nose. She says the family assumed something had happened to the nose during the embalming process.

 

"There was really a strong resemblance, a really strong resemblance," Minney, 69, said Friday in a phone interview from her home in Trenton, New Jersey. "She looks so much like Sharol they could be sisters."

 

After Jackson showed up at Pennsylvania Hospital last week, police confirmed her identity through fingerprints. Her son went to the hospital and immediately recognized her.

 

"He said, 'That's my mom. We made a terrible mistake,'" Garrow said.

 

 

 

 

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/Philly-Woman-Turns-Up-Alive-After-Her-Own-Funeral--220859341.html

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  • 3 weeks later...

Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."

The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."

 

So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.

 

Finally, the third man goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.

 

He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"

 

 

 

A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him.

The guy asks, "What's in the box?"

 

The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad."

 

The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?"

 

The older guy nods. The young guy goes to the men's room and returns 20 minutes later.

 

"That was amazing," he says, "You've got to sell it to me."

 

The old drunk concedes to sell the toad for a hefty sum. The happy young man struts home and meets his wife at the door.

 

"Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?" she demands.

 

"South American Blow Job Toad."

 

"So?" asks the wife.

 

"So, teach it to cook and then get the hell out."

 

 

 

A farmer walks into a bar with a horse. He says, "I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh."

A man yells, "I'll take that bet," and leads the horse into the men's room.

 

After a couple seconds, a loud braying laugh is heard from behind the door. The farmer screams to the man, "OK, I'll give you $2,000 if you can make my horse cry."

 

The man shouts, "You're on!"

 

After a few more seconds, the man exits with the horse trudging behind him with tears streaming down his long-snout. Flabbergasted, the farmer asks, "How did you do it?"

 

The man replies, "I said that my johnson was bigger than his and he laughed…then I showed it to him."

 

 

 

A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day."

The guy says, "Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. To top it off, I came home to my wife screwing my best friend."

 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your wife?"

 

The guy says, "I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again."

 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your best friend?"

 

The guy says, "BAD DOG!"

 

 

 

A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

 

"Thass a great idea!"

 

When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

 

He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

 

The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

 

"Oh yeah, he pissed my pants, too."

 

 

 

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits.

Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me."

 

The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?"

 

"Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."

 

 

 

A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell.

A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name."

 

"You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay."

 

So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!"

 

"Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."

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