penmanship Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 And I'm getting married! That's awesome and all but I need to learn to be sociable and talk to people. I am starting with talking to degenerates on the internet. I've always bailed and done my own thing and over the last few years have been trying to go out more with my fiancee to dinners and shit with her friends and people I don't know that she does. Am I the only one who hates striking up conversations and shuts them down when others try to talk to you? Cliff notes: Hi 12oz! been here a long time and haven't talked to anyone ever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aumstarsbcf Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 I suffer from the same thing, so I make a valid point to tell myself in any social situation/ interaction; * The universe will one day swallow it's self, what I am partaking in most likely has no relevance on a moral, or global stance, and most things I will hear are most likely superficial, and irrelevant. With this I do declare you will be at ease, because my friend, its all bull shit no? Just be son. It's not like your hanging out with Thor or anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Congrats on the marriage. I'm also an introvert, but not cripplingly so. I just really crave time to myself, and there's plenty of nights I'd much rather just stay in and watch a movie/get quietly buzzed than go to a loud shitty bar. As far as conversations with people in the day to day, I just kind of go on "conscious autopilot," but working in service jobs is what I think helped me hone that skills. Meeting folks through friends I kind of do the same thing, but try and put forth more of an effort to not be shitty. I also despise big crowds of people, especially if they're loud. You know that shit where audiences clap in time to the music? I fucking hate that. I don't think that has much to do with being an introvert, but figured I'd toss it in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penmanship Posted June 6, 2013 Author Share Posted June 6, 2013 I was on the subway today and my eye started doing that twitch that crazy people get because there was a shit load of kids and teens getting on after school. just got off and walked. how do people not know what personal space is. crowds are the most annoying thing to encounter. Who are you people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 For real dude, I get the same shit, feels like i'm going to bust out of my skin when people encroach all up on my in public space. I fucking hate parties, too many people with a great potential to do something really stupid and draw too much attention to themselves. I don't like to chill at home all the time, i like to get out and explore, but usually by myself or with one or two other people, I have never been good in groups of more than 4 people, i kinda shut down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddy Mercury Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Introverted graff and dance....Appropriate.. congrats on the marriage dewd, I believe Im not properly suitable for any woman for longer than a period of 3 years maximum.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
massgraff Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Team recluse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Can not relate. I'll talk to a doorknob if it talks back. Congratulations on the marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 congrats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SukiSukiNow Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I don't think you can learn to socialize. All you can do is just be polite and talk until you wanna stab them in the eye then say excuse me I need to use the restroom. I'm the opposite I can bullshit with anyone not that's a good thing but maybe you have anxiety. Fuck em if they don't like you or find you "interesting". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 And I'm getting married! That's awesome and all but I need to learn to be sociable and talk to people. I am starting with talking to degenerates on the internet. I've always bailed and done my own thing and over the last few years have been trying to go out more with my fiancee to dinners and shit with her friends and people I don't know that she does. Am I the only one who hates striking up conversations and shuts them down when others try to talk to you? Cliff notes: Hi 12oz! been here a long time and haven't talked to anyone ever. congrats man. i feel you 100% on this. i felt the exact same fear when i realized that i was out of college and needed to socialize with real humans (who were married! with children!) outside of drinking heavily, which also included the girl i was dating. if you're in a room full of people who you have nothing in common with ... don't sweat it and don't feel obligated to do anything. a forced conversation is worse than none at all - people can tell and will leave. if you dont give a shit about someones job, why ask? keep in mind that in polite company some people may ask. they may even show interest in what you say. stick with them - they're not dead yet. (note: i'm not saying approach someone and say "what has your life been about?" or some other interesting/soul-baring shit because that's fucking weird). just pick and choose wisely who you talk to. if i'm at a bar trying to make friends and there's 4 people there i'm gonna talk to the dude wearing a geto boys shirt. why? cause we clearly have at least one thing in common. i'm in my early 20s and so music is still something i can have in common with people. "what do you listen to?" can be a shitty shot in the dark but sometimes its a gold mine. i'm re-learning how to have a conversation with literally everyone. it's really fucking hard, so you've got at least one who understands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 also "what do you do?" is a terrible question. no one cares. literally, no one. avoid at all costs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanfullofretards Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Team Recluse. I'm really good at making conversations way shorter than they should be. Oh you had trouble with a coworker today? I...I just don't care. I can't empathize very easily. Neither can psychopaths. I'd rather have conversations scripted out ahead of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..romero.. Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 i write on things because i can't function in society.. fact. i feel you though. i have been solo most of my life, the only time i can get into a convo with someone is about graffiti, its the only thing im really passionate about. otherwise i don't care, and i have no clue how to feign interest. its hard for me to pretend that i give a fuck about what you did over the weekend, and i feel like saying hello to people at work is more of a chore than actually me wanting to greet them. part of me wants to be social and get along with people, but when i try to be social i just come off as awkward.. i cant make small talk to save my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penmanship Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 That's the first thing my girl and I did alone together was go walk at night and write on things. I've had the same five friends for the last 9 years and am happy with that but feel bad when I go to places and need to pretend to be interested in strangers. I mean the majority of people I've met through her are really interesting and have plenty of stories, but I just find a lot of people put on acts to impress, aside from a few there's been a heap of bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brickos Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Costanza Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 congrats man. surely you've tried this but maybe not. alcohol? im not saying get wasted (unless you wanna) but maybe having a drink or two will loosen you up and allow you to give less fucks about how terrible people are and shoot the shit with 'em. this works for me but i'm trying to work on being able to talk to heads i dont know/identify with, without the help of booze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
you can microwave bacon Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I just tend to ignore people and observe their behavior anthropologically some peeps are good though 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Congrats, no more solo masterbation for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 congrats on the wedding/marriage/lifetime commitment over the years i've become more and more introverted and less and less interested in dealing with idiots meaning i hang out with my man and our dogs and only a small number of other people, maybe 3. i also decided to stop worrying about it, and just do what makes me happy. hanging out with other people doesn't do that... so, i can't help you with it. i can talk to people though. just don't be a boring person. have hobbies and do things and you'll have shit to talk about. btw, i know a few people who are just terrible conversationalists and on top of it, work in classified jobs, and don't follow sports or weather. these people don't ever have more than a one word answer for anything and don't ask questions. somehow they are still getting through life. they even have wives and shit. so don't fret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 btw. might wanna peep this book Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classified Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 congrats....but you're not an introvert you're just a prick yeah?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classified Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 i write on things because i can't function in society.. fact. waaaaaaaaaaa , waaaaaaa .....i'm different ....waaaaaaaaaaa thats fucking lame. fact. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 have hobbies and do things and you'll have shit to talk about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I just like to watch/listen without being the loudest and most opinionated person. Some people would perceive this as being introverted, I do not. I do value my time to myself very much and when I am alone but out in public I tend to introvert slightly. People and groups of people tend to annoy me as I get older tho. Fuck bitches get money. Congrats on the vow's there bud, you still up the mountain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penmanship Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 congrats man. surely you've tried this but maybe not. alcohol? im not saying get wasted (unless you wanna) but maybe having a drink or two will loosen you up and allow you to give less fucks about how terrible people are and shoot the shit with 'em. this works for me but i'm trying to work on being able to talk to heads i dont know/identify with, without the help of booze. When I have a couple drinks everyone I talk to knows exactly how uninterested I am in what they have to say. No poker face with a few drinks. btw. might wanna peep this book Got it the thee week when looking through the book thread. Decent. congrats....but you're not an introvert you're just a prick yeah?! I am a bit of a prick. But I blame that on the person, who perceives me as being a prick, is actually obviously pretending to give a shit about things they don't. i write on things because i can't function in society.. fact. waaaaaaaaaaa , waaaaaaa .....i'm different ....waaaaaaaaaaa thats fucking lame. fact. I don't want it to be misconstrued that I am crying or bitching about being antisocial. As I said I have five friends that I'd be glad to not add to for the rest of my life, but for my girls benefit I'm trying to be more talkative and personable. However that's hard when you've spent your life not lying to people about what you think of them. Or maybe I am bitching. Who cares. Fuck you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penmanship Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 I just like to watch/listen without being the loudest and most opinionated person. Some people would perceive this as being introverted, I do not. I do value my time to myself very much and when I am alone but out in public I tend to introvert slightly. People and groups of people tend to annoy me as I get older tho. Fuck bitches get money. Congrats on the vow's there bud, you still up the mountain? Back to Toronto for the summer and possibly for good considering the marriage. Went back to the mountain solely for the party celebrating the retard I worked with for five years getting fired. Three days in Vancouver and five bottles of scotch and I'm fairly certain everyone knows exactly what I think of them there now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yardwanderer Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I always thought introvert / extrovert as a false dichotomy There are lots of people who love being alone but you would never know just because they can also put themselves out there and are good at talking anyone up It really depends on people, place, mood, so much other shit There are experiences you can only have alone and experiences you can only have with other people.. Being alone can be a useful skill.. Being with others can be a useful skill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yardwanderer Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I'm a speak when spoken to kind of person myself, at least with people I don't know very well, but the ability to chat up people is useful in so many ways Fake it til you make it is the best advice ever.. Once you throw yourself into uncomfortable situations enough times you gain experience the best teacher. What else can you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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