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Bonnaroo 13!!


EvanWilliams

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I'm not even trying to derail in a mean way, but I have never seen the appeal of shit like this. I know some real cool people that are into these festivals and stuff, but I feel like they're outweighed by douchebags.

 

Maybe it's because I like to shower and also don't really care for being stuck in big groups of people. I dunno. I'd rather ingest a ton of drugs with people I'm actually cool with, even if there isn't live music.

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I'm not even trying to derail in a mean way, but I have never seen the appeal of shit like this. I know some real cool people that are into these festivals and stuff, but I feel like they're outweighed by douchebags.

 

Maybe it's because I like to shower and also don't really care for being stuck in big groups of people. I dunno. I'd rather ingest a ton of drugs with people I'm actually cool with, even if there isn't live music.

 

I feel ya I was going to say that too. I'd rather go to an individual show, pay 40 dollars to get in and have a more "intimate" experience then go see a few artists I like and a ton of shit ones and deal with groce people with dreads.

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I have never seen the appeal of shit like this.

 

It's all about the collective experience doood.

 

Seriously though, I just see it as a new niche in consumerism. You can spot the people that go to these events a mile away.

I was going to list all the common characteristics, but it's basically these people...

 

1339602771-bonnaroo-crowd-2012.jpg

 

 

I would honestly rather work a 40 hour week than go to one of those festivals

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Weird Al is wack, except for amish paradise...

 

Festivals are only good for fucking hippie whores, and making mad money off selling drugs.

Ive been to one mainly to accompany my brother and it was everything I thought itd be...

 

That being said it can be a good time if you make it, I just hate the type of people that go.

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I'm not even trying to derail in a mean way, but I have never seen the appeal of shit like this.

 

1000%

 

i know a girl who is real attractive but is also way into burning man and backpacking europe. my thoughts about burning man are basically this: if i wanna be surrounded by weird motherfuckers and/or high people i'll call up the people i already know.

 

and if i wanna be surrounded by people i dont know anything about, have no connection to and dont care anything about i'll go somewhere in america and at least have the benefit of having the same language and currency.

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ok, maybe not camp out there for days & days, but id at least wanna see some of the crazy ass mad max type of exhibits & walk around for a day or two, staying full/hydrated & shit

 

NOT into any dirtyass body grime filthy hippieass orgy tents or the females covered in the semen of a thousand dudes with sand dust crusted on top

 

NOT into anyone approaching me, telling me theyre jesus, & offering me their acid

 

but id still like to go trip with a few friends & just walk around in the evening, looking at all the cool shit. then camp comfortably inside of a giant futuristic house on wheels, offending all the realdeal people around me

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well, do what you wanna do man. i wont judge.

 

i saw a buncha photos of the types of people who attend and decided it wasnt for me in any way shape or form. couldnt get with them at all. like i really wouldnt enjoy it i dont think, i'm a regular ass dude who writes names on the side .. not about "experiences let's figure out life maaaan" i know what my life is and it involves getting out of it what i can.

 

i was born into debt. still in debt. sorry hippies i need to make money and live my life where i can.

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well, do what you wanna do man. i wont judge.

 

i saw a buncha photos of the types of people who attend and decided it wasnt for me in any way shape or form.

lol, no i know.. i just wanna be there with a few friends & shit.. & be tripping when they set that shit on fire + look at a few misc cool shit they have

 

definitely do not want to touch anyone else there, let alone mingle with weirdos dressed all neon & covered in their own feces - basically build a moat around us so the bubonic plague people cant get into the castle

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ha.

 

seriously never heard of it.

 

im either too old, deaf, or dizzy to pay attention when it comes to those events.

 

once a year our city thinks its a good idea to gather thousands of people poppin mollys and ecstasy and throw them into the middle of the desert at 115 degree heat for 3 days and give them all glow sticks and angel wings. there is one way there and one way back it blocks all traffic for hours. fools be stuck in traffic gettin out of their cars oontz oontzin on the freeway Not to mention the price.

doesnt sound like fun.

then again, i dont do drugs.. haha

 

 

now pass me another drink and carry on.

 

i must admit tho, most people are in such a 'happy' mood generally around that week

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We used to rap letter the week prior for sets of free tickets and paint.

 

But I always sold them, fuck a festival. Even with good bands, they play simultaneously at each end of this huge place, I've heard you got to really know the schedule to see whoever and make choices when two good bands are playing at once

 

Also, the last time we were told cops would be waiting for us, so I'm pretty sure they snitches.

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My advice is don't go.

The lineup is absolute shit, the tickets are far to expensive, the venue sucks, the cops/feds are all over the place, you will get custied the fuck out if you fail to bring your own supplies, who knows what kind of stds you will get from banging any of the whores there, they don't service the port-a-potties, I've watched a group of wasted dude brahs tip over a group of port-a-potties with people in them and run off, security sucks, no fucking shade & it's really fucking hot the whole time you are there, and about 50 other reasons I'm just to lazy to type right now.

 

Of course I doubt you are going to listen to my advice and not go so here are a few pieces of advice if you do go.

Obey the fucking speed limit driving into to that place and make sure your car is clean/everything is so well stashed 30 cops and a few dogs can't find it. Expect when you get pulled over for doing something stupid for them to rip apart your car and have 30 cops and a few dogs.

Don't bother buying your tickets in advance, just roll up to the walmart parking lot on wednesday and hang out. Eventually someone will roll through and sell you staff/vip/whatever wristbands for a really good deal. Also staff wristbands = free showers

That shady lot kid is probably has no idea what the fuck he is selling you, sure it could be what you are looking for but it could also be some random research chemical or bath salts if its even real.

Don't expect anything you buy there to be a good deal, a lot of people go to this festival solely to make money off people like you.

Wrap that shit up you got no idea where that nasty bisco whore who has been sniffing all your drugs you want to bang has been. Actually just don't even do it, go beat off in your tent instead. Trust me once you see pictures of that chick your drug addled brain thought was cute you will thank me.

Show up early and leave late. Otherwise traffic is going to be hell.

Bring nose plugs, consider if you really want to be smelling 100k+ unwashed sweaty people doing drugs and having sex in tents with port-a-potties that don't get cleaned?

 

Seriously man don't do it this festival sucks and you are far better off going to a different festival. I could recommend a few for you if you want.

Also just as a little side note I might possibly be going to bonnaroo this year if they are willing to pay me enough money to work for them. Of course I would be working before the festival only and probably would leave and sell my laminate to some stupid kid on my way out.

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