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McLovin

where's the twinkie thread at??

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Just the other day my kid asked to try a twinkie, I told him to wait until we were in the ghetto where there would be a better selection of synthetic baked goods. Now he will never know and I feel like kind of a asshole, which is something that happens as a parent when one least expects it.

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there was this girl back in elementary school that i had the HUGEST crush on, im serious.. i straight up wanted to marry this bitch, i think this is where my love for latinas comes from (she was like half puerto rican or someshit)... anyways my mom used to always pack twinkies or some other similar snack treat like a moonpie or something with me for lunch at school, and seeing as i had a huge crush on said girl i would always hook her up at lunchtime in the hopes of dating her and doing whatever the fuck 3rd graders did when dating. one day i finally got up the courage to ask this hoe out while walking with her home from school. i don't remember exactly what she said but it could be best equated to "nigga please LOLOL" like no really this bitch laughed in my face and everything. i was crushed, and when i am rejected i get very spiteful.. so i said to myself "this bitch aint finna get no more of MY damn twinkies" and so when i saw her the next time in school and she asked me for a twinkie i said 'NO!' and then she beat the shit outta me and bit my ear on some mike tyson shit and i freaked the fuck out because i thought i lost an ear and was gonna look like van gogh or some shit and wanted to go to the hospital.. but this is the south and the people in the office were just like "quit being a fucking pussy and ice that shit son" so anyways we eventually forgave eachother but i didn't give her no more of my twinkies

 

FAST FORWARD almost ten years later... i hear through the grape vine that this bitch who gave me so much shit as a kid now wants the dick like REAL bad and is always trying to flirt with me and shit, unfortunately by this time she's a fucking recovering drug addict who has two kids before her senior year in highschool, oh and did i mention she's fat? probably from all the twinkies she got from me as a child, and the two kids of course. anyways i wasn't having any of that shit and was basically like "get the fuck up out my face hoe" and now i only fuck with the dime pieces namtombout?

 

 

basically the moral of this story is don't be fallin in love and givin all your twinkies to these hoes, because 9 times outta 10 they turn into some straight gargoyle lookin bitches in the end, and also your a bitch if you trick on these hoes and some other gangster pimp shit that you could imagine some ignorant ass rapper saying at the end of one of their songs degrading wemens. basically don't be tryna save these hoes with your twinkies nahmean?

 

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also, sort of off topic but whenever she would come over to play on my trampoline (bitches love trampolines btw), i'd never let her use my bathroom and would always make her pee outside i still kinda feel bad for that but not really.

 

FUCK BITCHES GET TWINKIES!

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i said hoes way too many times, i will come back and edit it at my own convenience when i can think of other words i can use in describing said women of lesser quality.

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