I'm concerned about you

[blood fart]

I was gonna cut my hair in a Chelsea recently.

Then I remembered I have a head full of scars.

And am in my 30s.

And own very few Fred Perry's.

So I nixed the idea.

 

I think the idea was born after I got a really rad "OI" shirt at Goodwill for two dollars.

 

Neat punks are neat.

 

Upon second thought, I did make zines for a job I used to have in the late 90s.

Working with a street outreach team and teaching squatter hobo kids how to shoot up and have sex safely.

They were pretty good zines.

 

I am currently working on a zine.

Of my own personal secrets.

And another zine.

Of my personal stories and photos.

Should be aight.

[blood fart]

I had made attempts in the past to clean my life up.

Some were successful to varying degrees.

Nothing like what is happening now.

 

I would quit heroin and crack and just smoke tons of weed and drink to excess.

Or take pills.

And convince myself that I was doing good.

I still had problems in my life as a result of my vices.

 

It's not as hard as people make it out to be.

You just have to want it.

And be willing to do whatever you are told to do.

Even if you think it is total bullshit.

 

I've buried literally hundreds of friends in the 20 years I was involved in that lifestyle.

I am lucky to have a circle of friends that made it out alive and are all sober now.

It's a good scene to be part of.

 

I am grateful for the life I've been given.

[blood fart]

I ran into my ex-bff last night at a show.

We were bffs from the age of 6-16.

We stopped hanging out due to my drug usage.

He now organizes a pretty well respected punk fest in Austin.

He's made a name for himself and I am proud of him.

For the first time in our lives, he told me he is proud of me.

It was a good feeling.

 

I didn't realize how much of a mess I was when I was living it.

But the difference is visible to those around me.

It's hard to see change when you are doing it on a day to day basis.

But to step back and look at the progress you've made in a 6 month time span, it's pretty mind blowing.

[anybody_wanna_chestnut?]

Getting addicted to a drug like heroin is like a frog and boiling water. If you put s frog in a pot of cool water and put it on the stove, he will sit in there and boil to death. If you put a frog in boiling water....it will jump out immediately. When you do a drug like that the addiction gets progressively worse and you don't realize it, like the first frog. But if you had never done drugs before and thru yourself into that life style...you'd freak out and realize it was a terrible way to go, like the second frog. I dont know you but your story seems interesting and you seem very likable. As a recovering addict myself your story, what little I know, gives me some hope... Especially right now with this bullshit hurricane aftermath I'm dealing with, I really wanna fuckin drink. But a drink is never just a drink for me. I'm somewhat of a collector of DIY zines' / punk zines', would def like to get my hands on a copy of yours if you wanna do a trade or something.

[Dr. Scientist]

Can't believe I just read all that. . . I must be growing up too, my attention span is increasing.

[blood fart]

I will let you know whenever I finish the zines.

Right now I have a lot of projects that I am working on at once.

Just got word from a friend I ran into over the weekend that he wants me to make a mosaic for him.

I still have about five others to do for other people.

It's good to be busy.

[injury]

[RIPS]