T4M* Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 im in a healthy relationship, one year and counting. Communication, loyalty, commitment, and trust are always present. Finally met a person who accepts for who i am, so we are never fake to each other. My gf likes to go out with her friends, male/female, and i have no problem. she knows who she is going to sleep with the night and where her heart is. I only get insecure when she goes to the bar/club with her friends. She likes to dress to impress and yes she does get attention. I know for a fact she wont go home with any other man, but she does like to dance with who ever and talk/do small flirt. She always tells me that there are guys asking her if she is single and she is loyal, by telling them she is taken and even goes about showing pictures of us together. I always ask if its koo to let her go out like that, where im not there to protect her. overall, i trust her. if she doesnt come home to me, than definitely a talk will come right after. Rather than to ditch her and call her names, we see the issue, resolve it, and move on, putting the conflict in the past and never encounter the problem again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 again relationship is nothing without trust. But I've heard from people in relationships that your opposite sex friends are fine, but it's when you make NEW friends of the opposite sex that jealousy really arises. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 And sometimes it's the other way around. The next time this issue comes up (God forbid) I'll say something like "Okay, I'll put on the man-burqa if you'll wear a t-shirt that says "I'M AN INSECURE TWAT." I just thought of a , though I'm pretty sure most of you wouldn't go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50million Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 it's fine. would you let her sleep on a dudes couch? like if she needed a ride to the airport hella early or got too drunk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Of course there are guys that can pull that shit off, my boys getting married in two days and its his first and only girl so far. Mazeltov! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 depends on the dude. if your confindent enough about yo shit. shouldn't be worried. if your a pussy face. then that changes everything. are you....a pussyface el? c'm0n s0n. i normally wouldn't give 8 fucks about my lady hanging with her dude friends. but now that i'm a good 3500 miles away from her i feel a little different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindfux Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Not at all jaded, Just a fucking snatchhound :p i'm with Mr. Cunt Eastwood here 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silba Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I have never been friends with a girl Ive never atleast wanted to fuck once. Im friends with certain exes, but I still sort of want to fuck them. The question is more about if you have the will not to do it and stay loyal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 This man just killed it. ^ Must spread youngin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50million Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 depends on the dude. if your confindent enough about yo shit. shouldn't be worried. if your a pussy face. then that changes everything. are you....a pussyface el? c'm0n s0n. i normally wouldn't give 8 fucks about my lady hanging with her dude friends. but now that i'm a good 3500 miles away from her i feel a little different. hows that working out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 all her male friends are gay and any female friends i have ive fucked already. hope this helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 So when are you gonna get to work on the dudes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris The Butcher Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 IF HER PUSSY IS TIGHT ENOUGH THAT YOU COULDN'T PULL A PIN OUT OF IT WITH A JOHN GREENE TRACTOR NO NEED TO WORRY--------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 i'm not a big fan of adults being good friends with people of the opposite sex. i don't really think it's possible for adults to be platonic friends with people of the opposite sex, and no one has any feelings, ever. (this is also coming from a woman who has had a TON of guy friends over her life, and nearly all of them have tried at one time or another, to get with me... not cuz i'm awesome, cuz that's what dudes do.) if the connection meant talking more than a couple times a week or going out for more than something like lunch or a dog walk, i think i wouldn't be down this isn't so much to do with insecurity as it has to do with my view on what having a partner is for.. i prefer my man to be my best friend so naturally i don't want him having other close female friends. if we're talking life-long relationship i wouldn't give out any ultimatums, but in that case i think i'd hope that person would also want to be my friend. if not, i'd probably be a little suspicious. i know how most people are, and what motivates them. i also know i don't tend to magnetize the bext people. it's my first solid committed relationship in years. meaning i'm actually tryna keep this chick around. i was single for a while, i've dated but nothing serious. i've met females that i wanna bang, and i've met females that i dont wanna bang. the ones i wanna bang but hasnt happend we usually just go our seperate ways (there's no way to keep chasing after something that aint gonna happen) the ones im not romantically interested in i keep around, and say hi to or hang out with once in a while. Sucks that you had tons of guy friends hit on you and they don't know when they've been friendzoned. i've been friendzoned a few times, but i know when i have been. i don't go after chicks who see me as a friend. it's a waste time and energy when i could be using that time to be going after something real. Sometimes if i start dating a female i let them know right off the bat that i have friends before i met her, and i'll have friends after, and so does she, so im not gonna have her tell me i cant hang out with certain friends, and vice versa, im not gonna tell her to not hang out with her friends. i agree that if you're in a committed relationship you need that significant other to be more than your love interest, you need them to be your best friend, but i also believe that it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex as long as both know what the other one's intentions are, and on the same level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 I have two real solid female friends. They're both hot and I would have sex with them if the pieces fell into place. But I'd also never angle for it. There's plenty of other girls, and my history with them both goes deep (huhuhuhuh) I agree with the point Symbols made to a degree, because that's often how things work out. But at the same time I think it's super sad to just throw up your hands and be like "NOPE IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS WITHOUT BANGING" i've got a couple of those friends too. one female friend i've known for 10 years and she's the one i go to when i got issues with females, or have her talk to me from a female's point of view. my other female one i've known going on about 5 years. i wasn't interested in her romantically but she stuck around and has been a valuable asset to me. I think it's super sad to just throw up your hands and be like "NOPE IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS WITHOUT BANGING" - now this is what im dealing with. this is the mindset my girl has right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 Imagine if one/some of your male friends want to have sex with you...or if her female friends want to have sex with her. (Been on both sides of that. Not fun.) I haven't been in a relationship for a while because I don't have time for shit like this. It's usually well established early on that I don't fuck around and don't tolerate fucking around. Once that conversation's over, that's it. If I have to keep having that conversation, eventually I'll move on. Two things I can't stand are a) repeating myself b) getting hassled for shit I didn't do/haven't done/had no intention of doing. There's all kinds of insecurity out there. If you're doing everything right and things still don't work out, then that's just how it goes. Some people just like drama. this is the situation im in right now. sometimes drama is just natural to some people.... it's 2nd nature to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 im in a healthy relationship, one year and counting. Communication, loyalty, commitment, and trust are always present. Finally met a person who accepts for who i am, so we are never fake to each other. My gf likes to go out with her friends, male/female, and i have no problem. she knows who she is going to sleep with the night and where her heart is. I only get insecure when she goes to the bar/club with her friends. She likes to dress to impress and yes she does get attention. I know for a fact she wont go home with any other man, but she does like to dance with who ever and talk/do small flirt. She always tells me that there are guys asking her if she is single and she is loyal, by telling them she is taken and even goes about showing pictures of us together. I always ask if its koo to let her go out like that, where im not there to protect her. overall, i trust her. if she doesnt come home to me, than definitely a talk will come right after. Rather than to ditch her and call her names, we see the issue, resolve it, and move on, putting the conflict in the past and never encounter the problem again. thats what i told her. i told her i trust her cuz i know at the end of the night im the one she come's home to, and she should realize the same goes for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 depends on the dude. if your confindent enough about yo shit. shouldn't be worried. if your a pussy face. then that changes everything. are you....a pussyface el? c'm0n s0n. i normally wouldn't give 8 fucks about my lady hanging with her dude friends. but now that i'm a good 3500 miles away from her i feel a little different. im pretty confident in myself, and i'm not the worried one. it's her thats insecure/worried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 it's fine. would you let her sleep on a dudes couch? like if she needed a ride to the airport hella early or got too drunk? if dude was her flamboyantly gay BFF then i could care less. if it's a dude with a history of porking tons of chicks, then i wouldn't let her. as her guy, if she needs a ride to the airport or got too drunk, i'm the one who's gonna take her, or pick her up. it's one of the things i signed up for when we got together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 this is the situation im in right now. sometimes drama is just natural to some people.... it's 2nd nature to them. some times its nice just hangin out with girls that your not with and knowing you could fuck em but not doing so. probably will be a bit hard to explain to your girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I dont hang out with girls. I'm not about my lady hanging out with boys. I am in a relationship with a woman who shares the same value set. IM A JELOUS PIG SHOVINIST Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john brown Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you have friends that are girls then youre probably some kind of faggot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 There's another weird dynamic that El V pointed out, though. Men are not usually intimidated by someone more physically attractive than them...but if the guy in question has a reputation for laying pipe like a plumber on speed, then that's an issue. If the female insists that they're "just friends," run (don't walk) the other way. Women generally seem to get nervous if they perceive that the other lady is more attractive than them, but the slut thing...it's weird. Most of the time they give this a pass unless the other chick is doing really stupid shit like giving their dude a (non-consensual) lap dance in front of them...and if their dude doesn't react by saying something like "GET OFF ME SKANK," then dumping said skank on their ass while pouring a pint out on their weave, it's on. Then there's the crazy bitches of either sex who are prone to flip out whenever their _________ smiles at the person who's giving them change at the counter. That just fucking sucks, since it's damn near impossible to get out from under these kooks....plus they're usually the first ones to cheat, because once you stop paying attention to their antics they're going to go get it from someone else to see if you really don't give a shit- you don't, but no one likes getting played, so.... My problem has been finding someone close to my age (+/- five years) who's cool, not jealous, and not crazy on some other level I didn't consider when I first met them. I don't think my standards are all that high, but goddamn...now I think I understand what being a bachelor is all about. It's kind of lonely at times, but it's way fucking better than having to deal with the same second hand neurotic BS over and over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100%juice Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 interesting discussion. I think it depends on the circumstance. It's good to have trust.. but at the same time, the only thing I mostly trust is gut instincts. I find its useful to consider how you got involved with the person in question. People are creatures of habit.. so if you got in quick, easy, as a casual friend, or by accident.. then probably best to keep it movin. Not to say there cant be exceptions to that, but generally speaking. I probably wouldn't get involved in the first place with a lady who kept some guy best friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I dated my best friend for five years. I don't think that it's ever really been an issue in any of her relationships. It was in a few of mine, but she's hot and I...I dunno. No comment. My dad was right when he told me that if I were to go home with someone from a bar or a party, that I should pay attention to what's going on long after the fact. It was pretty sound advice....it doesn't mean that I was necessarily suspicious or jealous, but aware of what kind of behavior I could possibly expect. I'd say that my hunches were right more often than not....but at the time I was kind of scandalous too, so I was willing to overlook certain things as long as I had the same leeway in turn. I don't think relationships are dumb so much as I think they require more effort and accommodation than most people are willing to mutually accede. That's what makes a lot of them dumb from my point of view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbie blowjob Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 buy her a dildo and for once make her happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I have two real solid female friends. They're both hot and I would have sex with them if the pieces fell into place. But I'd also never angle for it. There's plenty of other girls, and my history with them both goes deep (huhuhuhuh) I agree with the point Symbols made to a degree, because that's often how things work out. But at the same time I think it's super sad to just throw up your hands and be like "NOPE IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS WITHOUT BANGING" i actually agree, i mean no one is throwing any hands up. or typing in ALL CAPS and i do have male friends... i'm in a crew fo chrissakes. the thing i said though is about FEELINGS. i am not saying everyone ends up banging, because no fucking way is that the case.. everyone on the planet would always be banging. the thing is, this is all much easier as i said, when everyone; the boyfriend and the girlfriend and whoever else might be around is friends. or when these friends of the opposite sex are maybe also relatives or they are happily married. i think the degree of the relationship matters too.. i mean are these people spending lots of time alone and sleeping over at each other's houses? there are other ways to get to an airport. that said, so many circumstances make no situation exactly alike another. i'm just making a generalization, that i don't really like it, not so much because i don't trust my guy or i have issues and baggage, but because i know that in general people aren't that trustworthy and feelings come up out of nowhere and they can't really be helped. *edit* might also be worth noting that i'm well into my thirties. no way no how did i accept anyone telling me who i could or could not spend time with when i was a kid. things are more serious now though, and it would be very weird if my man made some friend, and it was a woman, and he wanted to go spend time with her. we'd be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Are the girls you're just hanging out with people you've known long before the committed relationship you're in now? My biggest problem because of where I work, and I work with my missus, is that old female friends drop by and always bring up 'inside jokes' or stories that my current girl has no connection to. I feel her on that being awkward. Basically anything in a skirt that knows my name, she thinks I've fucked them at some point. Are you a flirt? Is it possible that your purist of thoughts aren't shared by the females you're having platonic relationships with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I probably wouldn't get involved in the first place with a lady who kept some guy best friends. For real. I'm not gunna front like I'm on some "no no I'm happy you have kept all your old guy friends from highschool!!". I'm gunna say what makes my gut feel uneasy. Works for me. *WARNING* -This makes me conservative and naive to bohemian openness and tantric trust Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100%juice Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 it also makes you a guy who doesnt grab up on sleeze who keep a revolving circle of cock on tap for easy access. probably well advised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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