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vanfullofretards

If You Saw Someone Stealing a Bike

What would you do?  

39 members have voted

  1. 1. What would you do?

    • Call the cops
    • Fight / try to stop him yourself
    • Nothing
    • Offer a hand
    • BoogieBike


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What would you do?

 

Assuming this is in your neighborhood and dude is of average build. and you know he's stealing it. and it's not yours.

and it's close by your place, might be a bike of someone you know.

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I would hire a crackhead to fuck a whore in a truck and get a oneliner on the neighbors fence.

 

Then when he wants his money, i would hit him in the head with my 40d.

 

I am not worrying about anyone else, because they should mind their own damn business unless I am directing my teenage angst towards them directly.

 

 

Stop snitching, I am just having fun.

 

Why cant everyone just let me have fun?

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is it mine? no? then

yao-ming-template.jpg

 

it also depends.. is it my next door/closeby neighbours? & are they good to me? ive had two bikes stolen from me throughout my life - once, as a dumbass kid & leaving it unlocked in the open & once getting my lock cut

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Your story did not directly have anything to do with me. So I drank my 40d and still hit the crackhead on the head.

 

 

but I did not hit the oneliner on the fence. That is saved for if it directly has something to do wit me.

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Not yours, close by your place though. Didn't you see my fucking story?!

ah, missed it in the ol skim. went back & found it

 

the answer is no. at my old jerb when i used to smoke cigarettes, i was having one outside.. a quick break. this was next to a main road at a major intersection & it had only started getting dark. while having said smoke, i heard sawing by hand. looked a few feet around the corner & this crusty looking dude with a backpack (which i guess he carries the saw around in) was hooded up & straight sawing this bike post off to get to the bike. we locked eyes & i just laughed & turned around. a few weeks later, i was walking down the street & saw him on a different bike. itd be different if someone was trying to steal a bike from your older neighbour or some shit.. but in general, i could give a fuck about someones bike. a mans gotta eat

 

randy-trailer-park-boys.jpg

  • Like 1

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extremely relevant to thread:

 

i put "try to stop" 'cause of the scenario. It's close enough to my house and my bike has been stolen more than once, this shit pisses me off. So yea I step to this person. Two things could happen that would cause me to rethink:

 

1. the dude has a weapon. the moment this dude comes at me with a weapon i'm ghost. hospital bills or a funeral over a bike? not for me.

2. the bike was locked up real bad in the first place by someone whos a dumbass or doesnt care about having their shit stolen. i'm darwinist about property theft, if you dont lock your bike and it gets taken i dont feel bad. survival of the fittest. If you're walking down the street tweeting and someone pulls your iphone and dre beats out of your hand and head i couldnt care less.

 

Should he approach and try to fight i'm throwing a punch because:

 

1. police do nothing about a stolen bike. that shits just paperwork.

2. why not? thug lYfEE!!!

 

hope this works for my e-rep!

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i also dont really fear punching 'em because i am white and clean-shaven and therefore can do pretty much anything and get away with it, if it came down to me vs. a bike thief in court.

 

yardwanderer also brings a good point ... huffy thugs!

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The one time that I caught a bike thief in the act I ran up on him and kicked him in the ass as hard as I could while wearing bike shoes....that caused him to smack his head on a parking meter, so while he was stunned I grabbed him by the collar and started to drag him towards the nearest dumpster so I could lock him inside with my Krypto. Fortunately for both of us my friends intervened because we were across the street from the cop shop. He got up and ran off, and I went back in the bar and got another beer. Never saw him again.

 

That's what I would do in the moment...but if I had time to think about it? Well...I would probably pepper spray him, strip him naked, then tag "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" across his asscheeks after I ziptied him bent over a shopping cart in the middle of a busy intersection.

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"Someone" is a polite way of saying nigger, but it might also be a white nurga in a Coogi hoodie on the dolo swapping treks for scripts.... On that case I'd politely ask him to get off my lawn.

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For all of you that said you'd do nothing, if it was your bike would you want passerbys to do nothing?

 

Probably not, you'd want people to beat the shit out of the guy. So I don't understand that line of thinking.

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Anyone I have ever saw trying to commit some lil theft like that really dont stick around after you hollar at them. Im a bike person so I would definitely try all that I could to keep the person from getting the bike. Although Im not about to get arrested with the real criminal just because a cop turns the corner and sees both of us fighting and also because one person cant secure their bike properly. I have no time to go to jail for the lil things.

 

As for my bike(s).....theyre never in a spot where they could be open for the taking.

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