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ATTN: SWAMPFIGHTONER


famecrazy

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Fight Review -

Both competitors are reasonably unknown quantities to those outside their local areas and will be eager to finally settle the scores after multiple, intense tinychat battles and a series of low blow nega prop exchanges.

 

In the Red Corner

 

The tatooed Ayebee AKA SwampFightOner will be boxing in fila trunks, shin high white socks and sandals. Ayebee weighed in at approximately 263 pounds after dropping a remarkable 15 pounds in 4 days due to a strict diet of nothing but 'yak' and greygoose. Fresh off house arrest Ayebee has alot at steak (no cheese) here and a loss would undo years of posts that have sent shivers down the spines of many 12 year old kids in paperchase and brickslayers since his registration onto the oontz. Ayebee has 1 professional fight to his name which he won convincingly, knocking his (ex?) girlfriend to the ground to which all 3 judges unanimously awarded a KO.

His record stands at 1-0 with a second unconfirmed flight against Saigon still being investigated.A quick question to leave you with - If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it still make the same noise as Pony Tony in round 1?

 

 

In the Blue Corner

 

"Pony Tony" Stan from Montreal will be fighting in limited edition Air Jordans and ZULU nation approved trunks. Stan weighed in at scary 79 pounds and has increased his training in preparation to almost double his daily weed intake and multiple combination's of deli sandwiches, fetta, crepes and krink protein shakes. Stan is yet to register an official fight so he will undoubtedly be keen to get his oontz boxing career off to a great start. Unconfirmed reports have filtered in that Pony Tony once fought a kid on the school but when he was 13, we are unsure of the result but suspect he lost.

 

Ayebee's strengths inside the ring:

Ayebee obviously has a huge advantage with his power to weight ratio, one strong combo could have the frighteningly skinny Pony Tony heading for the canvas/car park pavement. Ayebee will also be fighting with an altered mind state due to copious amounts of elicit drugs he has consumed, which leaves him unpredictable and hard to defend. With a double chin that looks well padded Ayebee should be able to withstand Pony Tonys combinations. A quick browse over Ayebee's Negaprops from Stan just before he enters the ring should give him enough motivation to come out firing. Ayebee being large in stature would be hard to defend once he is on the front foot especially against a drastically undersized opponent and going by his previous bout it appears he likes to get his fights over quickly so he can return to posting suicide threads on 12oz.

Ayebee's body odor has been likened to a knock out punch from Iron Mike Tyson, this could cause some discomfort for his opponent.

 

Pony Tony's strengths inside the ring:

Agility is obviously on his side, weighing roughly 1 third of his opponents net body weight Pony Tony should be far more athletic and lighter on his feet. Pony Tony also has a much larger arm reach so back foot boxing would be his obvious game plan. Quick combinations plus his barrage of pre match taunting about the "real ayebee" may have put his opponent off his game resulting in Pony Tony gaining a distinct early physiological win. Stan should have the stamina which will help him gain an edge over Ayebee who looks like he wouldn't be able to make it past the 2nd round. An avid player of Fight Night on xbox live, Pony Tony has boasted he has been undefeated for 32 consecutive online matches and recently unlocked the Smokin Joe Fraser hidden character and claims he has no need to practice real fighting when xboxlive is just as real.

 

Ayebee's weaknesses :

Both fighters have many weaknesses in their fighting techniques

1.) Lack of physical conditioning may cause him to go into cardiac arrest.

2.) Has recently stated that after about 5 minutes of sex he needs to stop because he becomes to sweaty and that grosses him out. I am not sure he will be able to overcome his phobia of perspiration thus ayebee may call off the fight early

3.) No Weapons, Drugs or fellow crew members will be permitted in the ring during the fight.

4.) Ayebee will be fighting on neutral turf, well away from any body of water, this includes rivers, lakes, ponds and of course swamps.

5.) It is unlikely Ayebee has actually ever left RI so homesickness and travel directions to and from the venue may cause complications.

6.) Lack of mobility and stamina may render him about as useless as a snooze button on a smoke alarm after the second round.

7.) General stupidity

 

Stans weaknesses :

1.) Stan will most likely be high.

2.) A strong gust of wind could knock him to the canvas before the fight even begins.

3.) Has a ponytail.

4.) Is Canadian

5.) Has a ponytail

6.) He's the only boxer in the history of the sport to be knocked out while shadow boxing

7.) Weak chin due to lack of muscle definition

 

How the bookies see it:

Ayebee is the favorite at the moment due to his recent KO and weight advantage, however the odd's are close.

Get in while you can.

 

Although this fight may not eventuate and we will more than likely not see a winner, one thing we can be assured of is we will still have two losers.

 

 

Should be an interesting duel.

I hope this happens sooner rather than later.

Venue still to be announced.

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