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Illuminati

weekend edition

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Yeah that might be it I'm not sure what exactly it is called right now. But looks like I might have to skip work tomorrow since my friend got wasted and just texted me that he is to drink to make the trip we planned today and we have to do it tomorrow. So time to drink beer and relax.

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Just ran out of beer. But I have gin and cranberry juice so I can keep drinking.

Having a friend and his girl over for dinner. Just stuck the stuffed eggplants in the oven, never made them before hope they turn out good. Gonna get drunk, some a little and bullshit all night long.

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boss tried to get me to work 10+ hr shifts all weekend last night, I said no and he implied I might want to start looking for a new job by saying he wasn't sure if he was going to need me next week.

Friday -

look for new job

get some new markers so I can finish this sketch

Pick up my paycheck

write my name on some stuff

Deposit my paycheck and drink some beer

possibly go to further shows or chinese new years party

Saturday -

Possibly recover from chinese new years or further shows

If not recovering probably go to swap meet and then spend the rest of the day drinking beer and walking the tracks or some shit

Sunday -

Possibly go skate derby if I can make it to santa cruz and BBQ with a friend. Weather depending. Drink beer hope I get to go to work monday.

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^lol

 

acquired beans. drank & watched my friends played pool while dropping a shitty sketch i regret doing. tumbleweeded & ate some pizza, then returned not too late..

 

going out for lunch later.. maybe all you can eat sushi.. then idk

 

sunday, either wanna go somewhere or just relax all day..

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last night;

 

met a bunch of germans from a town called Bremen, i know it's a small place and your two choices for a night are alcohol and spousal abuse--i knew these dudes would be down to party.

 

in true german--we're better than you, that's why we invaded--style, these assholes booked a limousine for 3 hours and stocked it with an assload of booze and invited me to tag along. we got along pretty fucking well, they loved nose candy and strippers, and i speak german...kinda.

 

after drinking way more than i should have, i insulted someones mother, pissed in a obscenely public place and gave my National Socialist Party brothers an irish goodbye.

 

this is where the story should end, but the only thing that ends is my ability to remember things and my capacity to make sound choices.

 

now, i live in a hostel, which makes certain problems more problematic--and when you're blackout drunk you tend to do bad things. from the evidence i have found in the bathroom down the hall and in my room i can only assume that i furiously vomitted on the floor of my room, walked to the bathroom, stripped naked, vomitted more and walked bare-assed back to my room where i proceeded to fall over in my vomit and then passed out in bed.

 

the receptionist tells me that i was more drunk than he's ever seen me, if you know me--which you faggots don't--you'll know that that is a big, big fucking statement.

 

i still haven't mopped up the vomit, nor thrown out the rancid towel and clothing i soiled, but i did ejaculate on the floor just now, because it couldn't get worse than it already fucking is.

 

i'm a dirty human being, and i'm going to celebrate that fact by nursing my hangover with 2 dollar one litre beers and kick it with my amazingly depraved, convict buddy, Des.

 

fuck y'all.

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i still haven't mopped up the vomit, nor thrown out the rancid towel and clothing i soiled, but i did ejaculate on the floor just now, because it couldn't get worse than it already fucking is.

 

THIS GUY

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tonight (written at 2am)

 

met up with said convict dude and gave my hangover some more alcohol to deal with, talked shit about life like a fucking philosofiser or something.

 

as i split from my dirty south african friend i hear some fuck screaming my name...it's the germans...zee fucking germans, ja?

 

they demand for their mighty white penises to be blown and i direct them to some cunt who deals with stranded tourists in search of tight, tight Polish vagina.

 

these bitches were gorgeous, imagine a woman, now imagine a woman with whom you'd like to sex up and whatnot--that be the women we saw. asses so fucking tight you'd give up a testicle to penetrate their bodacious anuses.

 

on the way out my friends asked for a whore-house and then pretended not to have money, i'm not sure why but it was fucking stupid.

 

some indian dude was complaining to one of the dudes trying to get people into their club, that why are they being harassed to go see naked women. i interjected and said "welcome to town, you fucking square'" those bitches were lost when i went retro on their ass. it was hilarious.

 

so that was my follow-up night, i saw some outrageously tight polish pussy and directed my friends towards places to find some snatch.

 

THA END.

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Well.

 

IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M HOLDING A CONCH TO MY EAR BUT THERE ISN'T ANY CONCH.

 

htah wasn't supposed to be in keeps, but I' not going to be making any spelling corrections.

 

Keep on keeping on.

 

And don t go quoting me replacing "conchc" with c"ock" either that would be poor form.

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Getting the Overnight train to Hanoi for the weekend. Recovered from food poisoning. Feast on street food, drink bia Hoi, get them vietnamese girls and the head off to halong bay.

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Australia Day long weekend.

 

Got tomorrow off to make it a four dayer.

 

Gardening and buffing tomorrow.

 

Paint Saturday.

 

Ride Sunday.

 

More paint Monday.

 

Probably a couple of beers in there somewhere.

 

Back to oooontzing, I mean work on Tuesday

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Bastard. I've been flat out gearing up for Aye Day, and it's pretty much confirmed that I'm going to get slammed every single day. Still trying to come up with an Aussie cocktail.

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I drank massive amounts of crown royal and beer this weekend with a friend of mine while my girl was away house sitting. I think I might have overdone it last night with that second bottle of crown to the face when my friend passed out though. My hangover has been epic. Also for anyone who like lagunitas I recommend trying the lagunitas sucks brown sugga substitute ale. 7.85% and goes down smooth. I also would advise against finishing a 12er while working on that second bottle of crown.

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Started off with not getting evicted on Friday...then my friend got out of jail so we had a BBQ for him, where windows got broken and a toilet went kaboom...another friend set up a zipline from a 100'+ redwood next door to a billboard on the roof of our building and cold busted that shit David Lee Roth style.

 

I'll get a pic when he does it during the day sometime.

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Just got home from work. Got paid today, got me a 12pack and a bottle of single malt. Gonna kick it at the house and wait for some friends to show up then go out for the night with some heads.

Tomorrow is shopping, doing some shit around the house and getting fucked up again.

Sunday is recovery day and some work around the house. Might go out and watch the superbowl since I lack a tv but might not depending on how I feel.

What the rest of you doing this weekend?

 

Bonus

ffcr9s.jpg

 

Extra bonus

gonna do photohunt this weekend

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It's Tet in Vietnam, nothing is open but there's a party going down with heaps of rice wine tonight. With no buses running over the next week rode a motorbike through the mountains to the next town, was incredible. Hope I'm not stuck here. Fuck it I'm drunk.

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