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when you date a hot chick...


nsmbfan

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you get this.... from dudes in her "friend zone" (that lasts forever apparently)

 

(TLDR: one of her ex boyfriends keeps drunk texting her, I tell him to fuck off.)

 

 

 

ex bf:

 

you dont know who i am or what ive done. you threaten me again i will come find you and make you see who i am. you think im scared. youll need a weapon to stop me. i have had a hatred towards you simnce i heard your name. she's a grown woman and i guarantee i care about her more than you ever will. ive known her more than half of her life. she is the only girl i would die for. either drop this shit or well get together and end it and i wont stop until you kill me.

 

 

me:

 

you've hated me since you've heard my name? then why you been all smiles? fake ass bitch. i have what you want. you hate me for it. if you weren't such a bitch you wouldn't have lied to me about who you were when I met you. or acted like a timid little bitch. but that's who you are. so if you're done hiding behind your keyboard, bring that shit to my front door pussy. otherwise, keep running your mouth. you need a physical address? cuz you just might get your wish faggot.

 

it's funny, you remind me of that guy in the "friend zone" who just doesn't know how to get out or how he got there. you're stuck there because you're too big a faggot to close the deal when you had the chance. that's why you get to hear about MY relationship, and all the shit you THINK you know. so cry more. there aint shit you can do little boy. except wish you was me.

 

ex bf:

 

watch your back.... be careful i kknow where you live and where you work so always expect something. fuck you and i cant wait till were face to face.

 

me:

 

LOL. why wait? you need an invitation pussy?

 

ex bf:

 

expect it

 

me:

 

Dually noted. Grow a pair or get on with your life kid.

ex bf:

 

just wait not playin.. you dont know what ive done to people. neither does melina. bring a weapon

 

 

me:

 

did I hurt your feelings?

 

ex bf:

 

what are you talkin about. i have no feelings anymore ive been in jail too many times, ive been in fights. and im not scared of some pussy ass 30 year old takin advantage of a kid.

 

me:

 

you've been to jail? tell me more about how you're a badass

 

 

me:

 

oh snap. idk what you said to her but now she broke up with me. she said she's been in love with you for ever but is too shy to tell you. i guess now she tells me the truth. she wants to be with you, not me. you've completely ruined my life over here. i don't know what to do now, I don't want to live in a world without her. why couldn't you just leave me alone!!

 

 

LOL. just kidding. you're fucking stupid. have a nice life.

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i feel the best solution for avoiding getting friend zoned so often is to just come out and ask the question upon meeting a girl "sup baby you tryna fuck?". this way there is no confusion as to what your motives are. no bitch i do not want to be your friend and spend 2 hours on the phone with you discussing your feelings and all your lifes drama. i want to stick my penis in you. even if it doesn't work it will atleast teach you to not be such a pussy when it comes to talking to girls and just go for it.

 

anyways, my advice to you is to call his bluff and show up at his house or place of work and see whats really poppin. chances are he's a bitch or else he would have done all the things he said by now. in any case slap this nurga and maybe post some of your girls tits so we can see what said lame is catching feelings over.

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This is juvenile homie. My friend showed me his fancy phone with a 3 day argument I scrolled through that looked exactly like that. He's 25 and I'm thinking you fools look like what me and my ex-gf's drama was like in high school. Of course back then the threats were face-to-face or over land lines then hang-ups, but same shit. I'd just block/ignore that fool and if the lady is worth it just spend time enjoying the company/fucking/dating/whatever it is you're doing.

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Dude sounds like quite the bitch

 

Here's what I think you should do.

 

Call him up apologize and pretend to be all buddy buddy, then get him really drunk and slip him some xanax or some shit and hire his ass some old disease infested hooker and get him to rawdawg that bitch. take pictures and video of said incident and bounce.

So when you are hanging out with him be sure to get him to use your computer to log into facebook or some shit, install a key logger on the computer and steal his login info.

Now next time he starts acting like a bitch take over his facebook account and shit, share that video with everyone he knows, post crazy shit about how he caught a bunch of stds from the hooker and whatever other kind of shit you feel funny. Just make sure to change his password.

Now I assume you know where this dude works, lives or someway to find him, wait a few hours after you fuck up his facebook, go find this little bitch as he is crying in a corner realizing he is probably never gonna get laid for the first time cause you shared that video of him fucking some nasty hooker with everyone he knows and curb stomp his ass, break every tooth in the bitches mouth and leave him lying in a pool of his own blood.

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Dude sounds like quite the bitch

 

Here's what I think you should do.

 

Call him up apologize and pretend to be all buddy buddy, then get him really drunk and slip him some xanax or some shit and hire his ass some old disease infested hooker and get him to rawdawg that bitch. take pictures and video of said incident and bounce.

So when you are hanging out with him be sure to get him to use your computer to log into facebook or some shit, install a key logger on the computer and steal his login info.

Now next time he starts acting like a bitch take over his facebook account and shit, share that video with everyone he knows, post crazy shit about how he caught a bunch of stds from the hooker and whatever other kind of shit you feel funny. Just make sure to change his password.

Now I assume you know where this dude works, lives or someway to find him, wait a few hours after you fuck up his facebook, go find this little bitch as he is crying in a corner realizing he is probably never gonna get laid for the first time cause you shared that video of him fucking some nasty hooker with everyone he knows and curb stomp his ass, break every tooth in the bitches mouth and leave him lying in a pool of his own blood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What type of clusterfuck household did you grow up in------------?

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