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Local Crazies


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The bearded lady: 350lb land monster that had a full-blown beard, wandered around town with her shopping cart full off odd shit, like stained glass lampshades and shit. Constantly drinking king cobra 32ers and offering to show us "a good time".


The prophet: pretty average top of the lungs street preacher, screaming about sin and wickedness bringing down gods wrath. But he would just drop his drawers mid rant and piss and shit right where he was delivering his "sermon" without even pausing.

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When I was a kid (late 70's early 80's) this totally normal looking guy would stand in front

of our house and yell at the telephone pole "Why weren't you here yesterday?"

He did a lot of other crazy shit that I can't remember because I was too young.


In another weird town in Connecticut these days you can find a few jems.


Crazy Cliff - First time I met Cliff he walked up to me and said "when I walked in all I saw was lights! And I noticed that one was out." Then went on to complain about how his dog don't throw down for rent and other crazy shit. He look like he started smoking crack around the age of two.


Nasty - This lady is also known as Rubber Ducky Lady and always wears a yellow rubber rain hat. She rides her bike all over town with these nasty black pantyhose on with ripped up shorts. She looks to be about 160 years old and never talks.


Katie - Katie is bald and has many dolls that she pushes around in her baby carriage.

She only talks to the dolls and digs through everybody's garbage. If you walk near her

she will smile at you and that is enough to scare the shit out of anyone.


Jesus - This guy likes the Bible a lot. He also rides a bike like our friend Nasty.

He like to write verses from the Bible all over himself. His close his bike, whatever. Looks like he had NEVER washed anything he owns and if you get near him he will stand still as if you can't see him if he does this. He also like to fish.


That's just a few I can think of right now.

Well there is one more but we don't have a name for her yet.

She just yells a lot for no reason. Blah blah blah mutha Pucker!

(threatened to kill me twice because she seen me eating a sandwich)

I'll try to get some video next time I see one of these find human beings. :)

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there's a old bearded professor at the university doon the road from me, he walks aboot in a skirt and tights all the time... no one knows why,,,


and there's alfie... alfie's really small drinks pints at the speed o' light and gets fuckin' blootered after 2, he then resorts to singing kareoke classics before gettin' thown in the air... (see video)



he wears suits all the time, and he used to come to the big nightclubs in the centre of the town shouting at people to try and hit him with their spare change whilst waiting outside...


we used to heat ours up with lighters for ages then watch as he tried to pick them up...

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this one-legged, old alchoholic guy rolls locally around in a wheelchair shouting at everyone, rolling in the middle of the road in front of buses and shit. if anyone says anything he flips out on them. this thread would be better with flicks or videos


Sounds like a guy in my town that got hit by a train. He fell out of his wheelchair once

and we tried to help him. Dude stated to hit my boy and shit, yelling crazy shit at us.

So he wrote on his wheelchair. Cops must have bugged out when they seen it.


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Treetop: hoomeless man always has sticks and shit in his hair.

Sophistocrack: crackhead who has on a suit and tie every day.

Bicycle Jim: swears he used to be a lawyer and rides around on a bike with 2 trailers full of trash tape recording cops conversations because he thinks the government is against him.

Wagon Man: homeless dude pulls 3 wagons all over town with signs like "Be Positive" all over them.

The D.A.: former lawyer turned fiend who now showers nude at the local beach access spots and she throws trash at passing cars.

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Handshake man: Walks around the trains and shakes every guys hand and then proceeds to ask them for change. He doesnt talk. Also has a really creepy smile on his face always. Doesnt cause problems though


Hunchback: She is always at one train station and can only see her feet. Very old and her body form looks like a question mark without the dot

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Where I grew up we had an old lady who would dress as a bride and carry dolls and would wander around town, full white veil and everything. Then we had this big dude with Blue hair and some tattoos on his face who would wear a big black monks robe and just pace around all over the place.

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I grew up in 2 small towns


First town had a guy that my.mom knew in high-school dudes name was Tony scrulios one day he cooked up his own acid...took a bad hit and gave himself brain damage. For the last 30 years he's sat infront of his deceased dads rundown tailoring store playing random notes on his car....he's now known as Tony Screwloose


Same town there's a dude named Rex who dresses in full Harley Davidson leather gear but doesn't have a motorcycle, locally known as Rex the bikeless biker

Move to a small town in Ontario,


The chicken man is a guy that rides his bike around town with a live hen on the back of his bike. The chicken apparently fell off a couple times. But I think he died last year.


Crazy drug addict named "crazy Carl" lived in a house he built in the local ravine.


Finally.my favourite of all, this guy wasn't crazy...just hilarious. Old guy got a bunch of DUIs and lost his ride. Started driving a john Deere lawn mower to the beer store and would cruise with 2-4s on the back

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When I was growing up there was this guy that i'd see around and apparently he was allergic to radiation or something?

Anyways he had to avoid sunlight and whenever he bought something it couldn't be scanned, the product number had to be manually typed into the register

He lived behind the grocery store


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Back in the early 90's there used to be this disgusting bum with super long dreadlocks who would walk laps around the fountain at Love Park in what looked like a catatonic daze.

He had the crotch of his pants cut out and one of those shit catchers that you see under horses that caught his shit.

He'd be dragging that shit through the water in the fountain at Love with a blank stare on his face.

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