you can microwave bacon Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 gonna be a good thread normally i think before i speak but i'll still tell girls things like "you looked better brunette" or pull their arm hair out of reflex more than once i'll comment on a fat girl in public and she hears me. i needa work on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 was drinking in a hostel in copenhagen with a bunch of dudes. one being a homo asian dude, not my style but he was there. we went out that night and in the club there was a total douchebag of an asian dude talking shit and being a general dick. not the same two people. back in the hostel i say to the group "thank fuck that asian faggot isnt here anymore" i turn around and he looks crushed... ha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 in my defense it was never discussed. If it makes you feel any better, the two people I know right now are much happier to laugh and joke than have people walking on egg shells everytime they are around. Which is good for me, because I'm a fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRILLionare Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 This doesnt really happen to me because im convinced that people know what im going to say before i say it. (im schizophrenic) Anyway, this one time me and my three roommates are drinking just kickin it, and these two girls come over. we happen to be having a deep discussion about how faulty cans of mace are; they dont work, they get taken by attackers, they run out fast, most people dont know how to use them, etc. these girls then just up and leave for no reason. turns out one of em had just had a run in with a guy trying to rob her, and dude stole her mace from her, ONLY MINUTES BEFORE THEY WALKED IN THE DOOR! but they were fat bitches so who really cares 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I was talking about that mormon mom on tv who has a million kids and how she took a picture of her dead baby and posted it online. I said something along the lines of that is some weird shit and they are crazy. The problem was I was at my freinds house and maybe ten years earlier they did the same exact thing. She got mad, but not mad enough because they came over the other day. I forgot to add that my son hit their (alive) son with a toy and knocked out his front tooth on xmas eve. I guess they are not mad at me if they are still coming over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Stop inviting them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 letting mormons into your home? haven't you seen their ads? they look like regular people but have imaginary friends and an agenda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CILONE/SK Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 They were not mormons, we were talking about the mormons on tv. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 'I do' was probably one I never thought through. I have put my foot in my mouth so many times I can't even remember, probably because it doesn't really bother me if I have offended someone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bed framed Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 i was at Johnny Rockets on a date with my lady and she said something to me and my response was, "because you're black!" She didn't take offense to it because I say that to her all the time but the two black ladies next to us did lol. It looked like I ruined their whole evening every time i looked over at them. It's not like I'm white anyway so fuck them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 You took a chick on a date to fucking Johnny Rockets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bed framed Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 lol I had never been there, it wasnt really a serious date. More like hey babe lets just eat here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 LOL best thread in a while besides anything KIR made Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 'I do' was probably one I never thought through. gahZINGah holy shit doood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 hahahaha hahahahahaha follow that one up by "its not mine" i was at a shitty show a bit ago and my friend and i were commenting on this crazy guy outside freaking out because the music was to loud. as i'm looking at the guy i tell my friend he should flash the dude his balls and as i finish saying that my friend been had left and there was some underage girl standing next to me instead..... she looked pissed. kinda scared too. dead relative jokes..... pretty much had to stop saying any kind of dead relative joke. ex. make a bambi joke.... someones mama died and everyone had previously been talking about it. everyone hates me. now all i do is say racist jokes to white people and they tell me why i'm a piece of shit. white guilt. like you aren't thinking what i'm sayin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 White what now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 WHITE PRIDE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I want to see pictures of a pretty cool toaster. Maybe juxtaposed next to a pretty dumb toaster or a fucking radical toaster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotsauceinthedickholewastaken Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I told our babysitter..."whatever you have aids" She says "my dad died from aids" I say "well then" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I need that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 psh. mine has a bagel setting. HELLO KITTY WINS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 admitting im looking down a girls shirt in the middle of a conversation with her... realized last night im just a pervert in general if she knows you're gay what the problem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 making jokes about the holocaust and there are jewish people around continue making holocaust jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 i've done that, and then try to lighten the mood with the, "yeah i lost family in wwII also, My great uncle fell off a guard tower at auschwitz" it never gets the praise it deserves. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup forgot his password Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I told my vegan/yogi supertennant that burning man sucked. She kicked me out of the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanfullofretards Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 This past summer I was camping with my girlfriends family We were playing cards, and her oldest aunt said something about her 'arthritic' hands Being drunk, I instantly blurted out "I'd kill myself if I ever said i have 'arthritic' hands" Right there. To her, nice, grandmotherly self. She laughed it off, but I felt like a fucking dipshit the rest of the night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bed framed Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 lol damn van Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolling nowhere Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I constantly talk about my hate for people and always make sure they know but for some reason people seem to enjoy it. No shit. People love a good shit talker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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