AlwaysOverDoinn Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 SystemFailure kinda beat me to it with the creamed corn angle but... - buy $30 worth of creamed corn -use the fog machine for when she walks in so she cant see too good -tie her up with duct tape (might have to hit her with something a few times before for believability) -put the bandana over her eyes, stinky ace bandage over nose and mouth -while shes bound and gagged, mix the creamed corn with the OJ (peroxide too for good measure) -proceed to use the vuvuzela to pour the mixture into her stinkhole and bagina -finish off by shooting ur own "creamy mixture" all over her hair, then leave with her left as is Suprise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool_Hand Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I just farted like three times. Outside my window I can hear someone picking through the recycling bags. I wonder how many dogs peed on those bags. This is not haiku. Buy $30 of lube and try to stuff your nuts into her asshole. Two dogs in a bathtub! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
george jetson Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 you could also show her how you made a thread on 12oz about all this and have her read all these responses. chances are... she'll be slightly suprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris The Butcher Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Now that's just retarded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i'moffthywallz Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pet Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Yep, the bad guy would surely had broken his back when he's being pulled out like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_R_O_N Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Just leave me in the room while she walks in... she'll never expect a random person she doesn't know to be sitting there, with 30.00$ in hand wearing nothing but timbo boots and a black hoody sans balaclava.:lol: funnel in hand just in case real talk though my brother from another mother, use thirty dollars to get some shit to cook like the based god and maybe a movie from the red box...and two snicker bars. bitches love when you spend your last dollar on them trying to impress a ho. after she's all mystified and mesmerized by your good guy swag...make her sit on a can of rusto. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 surprise sex can be considered rape......carry on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RES4 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 i think she wants you to be all sensual with candles and all that shit... but go ahead and do this Beforehand, you will need to do two things: have a friend take several pictures of you looking like you got beat the fuck up, and soak your bandage in hydrogen peroxide. You will need to use the 30 dollars to get some nice prints made of the photos. Wear the mask, hoody, and Timberland boots. Use the camouflage bandana as a loincloth. Turn on the fog machine and get some real heavy fog going. When she arrives, tell her the door is open, come on in. She will be heavily disoriented by the fog when she comes inside. Leap out of the fumes shrieking and blowing the vuvuzela. Use the peroxide soaked bandage like you would use chloroform-- she will probably pass out from the fumes. Once she is passed out, bind her with duct tape. Use the clips to affix the photos your friend took of you to the envelopes, and arrange them so that when she comes to, they will be right in front of her. When she wakes up, she will be terrified, having thought that the mask wearing nut that just attacked her brutally assaulted you earlier in the day, and by sheer bad luck she was the first person to come visit since. She will get more and more upset, because you will be sitting in front of her in the mask drinking the orange juice. When she is about to reach her breaking point, remove the mask and you'll both have a good laugh about you tricked her. That's not the surprise though, the surprise will be you stopping the ensuing sex to spray all your shoes with that waterproof stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KARD like WOE Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 its not rape if you yell SURPRISE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 anal fisting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Internerd Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 wait till she brushes her teeth. hand her the orange juice. it'll be crazy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Fuck someone else. You also have two hands with which you could use to slap the stupid out of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 its not rape if you yell SURPRISE! i like this suggestion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 This is not haiku. Farts heard three times over Homeless pick through pee soaked trash What now, Shai, what now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Open can of corn Sweat stain set for ambiance A life of regret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Vuvuzela and Creamed corn in the butt Afternoon delight 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lambmeet Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anything goes Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screaming hand logo Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 wait till she brushes her teeth. hand her the orange juice. it'll be crazy i've surprised myself this way many a times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Vuvuzela and Creamed corn in the butt Afternoon delight ^^YES, must spread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i'moffthywallz Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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