Decyferon Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? just take a huge shit on her, if she doesn't leave, then your farts will be nothing after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Wrap your lips around her anus and let her spray fart into your mouth. It is the only way she'll respect you. cakefart.oldnews.png Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? In other news...A Chinese man thought he would look years younger after bathing with live eels in a spa treatment designed to remove dead skin. Instead, one of the eels meant to eat the man's dead skin cells decided to enter his penis through the urethra. Yes, it swam up his penis and into his bladder. According to Metro.co, Zhang Nan, 56, tried to grab the six-inch eel before it could swim all the way up inside him, but the eel was too slippery for him. From the story: 'I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,' the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said. 'I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? chinese farts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Tony is on the right track. What I would do is keep her in a small room whenever she isn't at school/working/out with friends. Basically any time you spend together, confine her to a small room. There will be a tube in the wall of this room that dispenses food. With a discreet sound system wired into the room, fart into a microphone so it is projected into the room via the speakers and she hears all the nuances. Just be sure to refer to my story on the last page so as to avoid making a mess. Immediately after you do this, dispense some of the food. Essentially, you're going to keep doing this for an indefinite time period. Over time she will start to associate the sound of your farts with being fed, and you will have invaluably contributed to the field of human psychology. This experiment has been successfully conducted with dogs and ringing bells. Contribute for the good of mankind. I'm definitely starting to rethink our engagement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metronome Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Get it out of the way early... nothing more needs to be said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallafarce Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? i don't know how old you are but, just fart man. if a chick breaks up with you for some passed gas then she aint worth shit. i farted on a girl while in bed once she said "oh grooooossss it's warm!!" she got me back by farting on my face....literally on my face. I had to applaud her for the effort in timing that went into that. make games of it...it's fun./noscat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? is this girlfriend a stripper or a prostitooooooooooooooooooot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bumboclot. Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Fart into her. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? I'm definitely starting to rethink our engagement. Don't worry, if I happen to confine you in a small room at any point in our marriage it's gonna be well stocked with cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? this should be a poll.... and the question should be "should I piss on my new girlfriend" ur doing it wrong bro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grd Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Don't worry, if I happen to confine you in a small room at any point in our marriage it's gonna be well stocked with cake. As long as it's birthday cake, confine away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mewzer Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? cakefarts.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belmonts Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? fart while she's playing your meat bugle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i'moffthywallz Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? fart in a cup and server it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Son you already live with her. Got your order switched up haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerCityRebel Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? just dutch oven her next time.. go for the gusto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? cakefarts.com I showed an entire party cakefarts once. I had a fifth to myself, then i had a room to myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wafflecakee Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? I never knew what was the acceptable time frame before doing it. One day I was giving her a back massage and one slipped out. I totally farted on my girlfriend. Probably one of the best days of my relationship. If freaks and geeks taught me anything its how can you love someone if you can't fart in front of them? We've broken up since, but it really was a learning experience that I'll take with me into new relationships. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wafflecakee Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? pin her under the blankets first though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnesia Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Re: should i fart on my new girlfriend? Take her for a ride in your car lock up the controls for the windows and use the child safety lock on your doors then let loose and see what happens... or while sex.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a mutant rancor Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I trap my girlfriend under the blanket and fart. too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 If you had any game whatsoever, you'd be able to shit in her purse and she'd still suck your dick. This sounds more like a confidence issue that she'll eventually sniff out, and then dump you over. (sniff ... dump ... puns) Man up son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 USE SAND Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 :lol: Its not a confidence issue. I've farted in front of her just not on her ... yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ded zed Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 you need to change your standards if you can fist your NEW girlfriend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 dutch oven or bust Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 give her that dutch crunch loaf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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