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Biggest failure in my 28 years of existence


JUST THE TIP

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I live on the same island as Bethany Hamilton:

bethanyHamilton_p04.jpg

 

I swore to myself that if I ran into her, I would spit game.

 

I was chillin at work today, butchering a delicious tenderloin, and a local dude comes over to me...

 

"brah, da soul surfah girl is here."

 

"the cute haole bitch with one arm?!?"

 

"yeah, brah, she stay by registah"

 

I peeped around the corner, and sure as shit, there she was, all sexy and one-armed n shit. She caught me staring at her nub, which was fuckin awkward, so I went back to the kitchen.

 

Fuckin choked hella tough.

 

A couple lines came to me, later in the day...

 

"Sup ma, I'll eat you better than the shark did"

 

"Yo, im not into jesus, but im into fucking bitches with one arm"

 

"Dont even trip, jump rope is hella gay anyways..."

 

What would you have said to her?

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Yeah, I stooped to yall's level.

 

For a second I thought I'd be fun to get down, but I'm just too nice. I would have just said "Hey :)" made some small talk, gotten her number and given her a look like 'that's right girl, I'm going to fuck you correctly after I finish work'

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For a second I thought I'd be fun to get down, but I'm just too nice. I would have just said "Hey :)" made some small talk, gotten her number and given her a look like 'that's right girl, I'm going to fuck you correctly after I finish work'

 

Nurka's ganna Nurk

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