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JUST THE TIP

Biggest failure in my 28 years of existence

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I live on the same island as Bethany Hamilton:

bethanyHamilton_p04.jpg

 

I swore to myself that if I ran into her, I would spit game.

 

I was chillin at work today, butchering a delicious tenderloin, and a local dude comes over to me...

 

"brah, da soul surfah girl is here."

 

"the cute haole bitch with one arm?!?"

 

"yeah, brah, she stay by registah"

 

I peeped around the corner, and sure as shit, there she was, all sexy and one-armed n shit. She caught me staring at her nub, which was fuckin awkward, so I went back to the kitchen.

 

Fuckin choked hella tough.

 

A couple lines came to me, later in the day...

 

"Sup ma, I'll eat you better than the shark did"

 

"Yo, im not into jesus, but im into fucking bitches with one arm"

 

"Dont even trip, jump rope is hella gay anyways..."

 

What would you have said to her?

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Aww shiiit

I'm on my way out dood

 

It's 5 in the afternoon here. that's my drinking time.

 

I'll be around later though.

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What are my chances of strong arming you into a date?

 

Yeah, I stooped to yall's level.

 

Honestly I don't know what I'd say, Im STUMPED.

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Yeah, I stooped to yall's level.

 

For a second I thought I'd be fun to get down, but I'm just too nice. I would have just said "Hey :)" made some small talk, gotten her number and given her a look like 'that's right girl, I'm going to fuck you correctly after I finish work'

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For a second I thought I'd be fun to get down, but I'm just too nice. I would have just said "Hey :)" made some small talk, gotten her number and given her a look like 'that's right girl, I'm going to fuck you correctly after I finish work'

 

Nurka's ganna Nurk

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From the interviews I've seen with her, that broad is half retarded, so I don't think it really matters what someone says to her; just lure her into the back room with something shiney.

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