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Weapon X

Ha! Take that, Africans!

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To his surprise, a Finnish doctoral student has discovered size really does matter when you compare penis length and world economic growth.


But despite rigorous analysis and careful mathematical charting of data, Tatu Westling isn’t quite ready to, as he puts it, “imply that I believe in causality at this point.”


In a study liberally laced with double entendres, the Helsinki University economic doctoral student reports that penis size, more than democracy, has a “robust” effect on Gross Domestic Product.


The healthiest economies grow in countries with the penis sizes of 13.5 centimetres (5.2 inches), just shy of the average. Happily, Canada measures 13.92.


“One striking result is the collapse of the GDP after male organ exceeds the length of 16 centimetres,


Westling concludes. “Male organ alone can explain 20 per cent of the between-country variation in GDP growth rates between 1960 and 1985.”


Westling’s study employs a recognized 121-country dataset also used by leading economists, including chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke, to study economic growth. He applies all the usual controls of a serious academic study.


He also relies on two versions of the online “world penis size map,” which not surprisingly depends on self-reporting from many countries.


“It started as a half-serious attempt, but I did not expect the correlations to be so robust,” Westling told Global Post. “The seriousness increased as the study proceeded.”


Westling’s study charts growth from 1960 and 1985. He cheerfully advocates more current research, particularly since the “male organ can be considered quite convenient a variable. It represents a well-defined and concrete object. It is relatively easy to measure.”


For example, “If France with its average size of 16.1 centimetres had male organs on a par with United Kingdom’s 13.9 centimetres, French GDP would have expanded by around 15 per cent more between 1960 and 1985.”


Being a serious student of economics, Westling wasn’t prepared to say size spurs economic growth, just that the statistics show a connection that shouldn’t be ignored.


“To conclude that small male organs have driven GDP growth since 1960 is premature, (but) it clearly seems that the ‘private sector’ deserves more credit for economic development than is typically acknowledged.”

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Oh so I guess my big dick is to blame for being poor


makes total sense

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Westling was upset about his below average dick size, this ridiculous study just makes him feel better about it.

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