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cmanb7

Airplane stories with the person sitting next to you. . .

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went to take a piss on the Dirtdog on my way down to socal on my birthday, coming down from acid. i open the door and, still seeing strange shit, this black homeless looking fat bitch in sweatpants and hoody is in there smoking rock or some shit. it's dark because, of course, the light only turns on in there when you LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR. she flips the fuck out, i stumble back down to my seat, annoyed. she comes stomping down the aisle talking about stabbing my white ass or some shit. she makes about 4 more trips back to the shitter, damn near YELLING a bunch of racist, violent shit. each time i had myself cocked and ready to manhandle this bitch if she put her hands on me. nothing happened, she eventually got taken off the bus, but let back on with the (lack of) understanding that she wasn't to be a psycho anymore. even this large ass white supremacist dude was tripping when she walked by and we'd start laughing hella hard once she passed

 

it was fun. definitely one of the best/worst birthdays of my life.

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don't talk to no one on the plane, put my shades on and eat my cheeba chews then proceed to watch whatever movie they play

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When I was 13 I was on an airplane from Chicago to Ft Myers Beach and this girl who was i believe 22 or 23 and I got to talking. About 45 minutes into the flight she had her hand down my pants touching my junk. That was probably the weirdest experience in my life thus far.

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Getting on a plane to melbourne tonight, will report back. Hopefully meet a nice qantas flight attendant, they're in the news for fucking dudes every few weeks

 

643489-qantas.jpg

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from dc to rome italy, ex bulgarian gymnast ,current makeup artist from LA, sexy ass accent and she slept with one leg extended almost above the window :)

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Rocked up to schippol airport to leave for home but the italians didn't stamp my passport on the way in so apparently i was "illegally" in europe as the customs lady lead me to believe a bit of sweet talking isorted it out

 

On the same flight, mate and i started talking to the guy next to us who had a free room in Dubia from emirates for a delayed flight, landed at 10 pm went out for dinner, taxis around the place, went swimming somewhere and had an epic night (all free???)got back just in time for the 8am connecting flight

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^ Sounds like the lady was just trying to put a scare in you. I've flown to many countries that didn't stamp my passport upon arrival and never had a problem.

 

I hate when someone's on a plane with a crying baby and they walk it up and down the isles so that everyone can hear it screaming. They should really make special flights for kids ages five and under.

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Agreed, I once paid for an upgrade to first class at check in since it was only $50 extra for a 5 hour flight.

This dickhole and his wife behind me both had toddlers, on their laps, trying to save money by not getting extra seats.

Kids would not shut the fuck up and kept crying the entire flight, I couldn't go to sleep.

 

Everyone in that first class was giving them WTF looks after realizing the flight was going to suck.

I think there should be a 3rd class built into the luggage or something for the obese and people with kids under 5.

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so i got a middle seat on a cheap ass flight to go visit some booty down in tampa at her school. Fat ass greasy motherfucker on one side skinny jeans fagboy on the other. the two hit it off as best friends as soon as i sit down. this obviously makes for a horrible flight. The gay dude was on his way to florida to start working on a new design for a mermaid tail and a mermaid convention. And the other guy supposedly owned some crazy restaraunt in vegas and was a food critic. The two start getting more and more flirty and eventually exchange numbers. This whole time im stuck in the middle wishing i snuck a gun past tsa to blow my brains out. Fucking mermaid loving chefs and shit all up in my business, fuckouttahear

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I usually take some xanax and hit the bar before a flight, then pass out untill I land. The greyhound though, oh boy.

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Hooked up with a cutie when I was 16. We were both on the same exchange program flying to France. We were on AirFrance so we drank wine and enjoyed a whole middle section to ourselves that we found. She wasn't having that mile-high-club airplane bathroom.

 

Recently I was on a coast to coast flight sitting next to a woman in her early 20s who told me she was in the Marines. I hate small talk, but I really hated it with this chick, especially since she was all about it, so I tried my best to brush her off. Still though, she insisted on telling me about how badly she had to pee as we were taking off. I didn't say anything. I proceeded to watch her blow 10 bucks or whatever it is on WiFi for her laptop and chat on Facebook for the next 4 hours. Of course I was gonna look. She hit up a bunch of dudes who's display names started with things like Sgt and always started out with, "What's up, turd?" Basically, I found out about how she's getting passed around like an ounce blunt at her base, wherever she's stationed, getting rammed by married dudes. One guy told her to go to the bathroom and take a "naughty picture" of herself. She perked her head around, looking for where a bathroom might be, but never got up to go do anything. Prude bitch.

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When I was 13 I was on an airplane from Chicago to Ft Myers Beach and this girl who was i believe 22 or 23 and I got to talking. About 45 minutes into the flight she had her hand down my pants touching my junk. That was probably the weirdest experience in my life thus far.

 

I call total fucking BULLSHIT on this.

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Why? Doesn't seem that far fetched. I made out with and fingerbanged some chick on the greyhound while my buddy banged some other chick in his seat.

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i'm flying for the first time this summer and it kinda scares the hell outta me. i plan on taking some ativan and trying to sleep.

 

The worst thing about being a plane is that it's boring. Imagine sitting in a room with nothing to do, surrounded by 250 people farting and coughing.

 

Bring a book.

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I usually take some xanax and hit the bar before a flight, then pass out untill I land. The greyhound though, oh boy.

 

xanax + bar b4 flight = win

 

and ur 24'd

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^

Depends on how you handle benzos. 5 valium and 5 drinks I felt a mild buzz, got on the plane napped for a half hour woke up and felt pretty much normal again. It was annoying.

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