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UA test...


skeoh87

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"Hey, I'm here for my test." Oh man this is gonna be a wrap, I drank 18 gallons of cranberry juice in the past week.

 

"Okay sir, if you could just step over here behind the curtain."

 

"Sure thing, just wanna get my clean bill of health ha ha ha!" The fuck? The bathroom is over there.

 

"I'll be with you shortly."

 

"Sounds good!" Jesus, I wonder where the toilet is. Are they just gonna make me fill up a cup? I really need to piss. But she said she'd be with me, maybe she'll hold it for me. She's cute. I'd let her.

 

"Okay sir, if you can just pull up your pants leg...no sir, pull it UP don't pull them down."

 

"Ha ha ha! Sorry! Just really gotta to pee." Weird.

 

"Pee? Sir, we haven't administered urine tests in six months, they are far too fallible. Any jerk on the Internet can figure out how to beat one. We're going to take a leg hair sample."

 

LIFE. RUINED.

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I used to go to a school that did random urine tests. I would fill up an Elmer's glue bottle with clean urine and let it rip. The urine collector was named Franz and he stood by the sink patiently. The first time I did this the bottle leaked all over my shirt and I was covered in somebody else's piss. Twas a day to remember.

 

They eventually switched to hair testing, thankfully I had already graduated. No leg hair, it was hair off the top yo dome. School sux br0.

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Didn't you just post in another thread how you got fucked up on pills and were rubbing on your boss' titties over the weekend? props.... I guess everybody has a different interpretation of "sober" but I would imagine that if you take pills (to get fucked up) you are by definition not sober. Just saying.

 

/end thread

 

You don't read very well. ALCOHOL is my problem. ALCOHOL fucked my life up and put me in the position I'm in. I base my sobriety off of my problem. Or lack thereof now.

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Ive done more yay then weed because of the 3 day detox instead of the unsureness of weeds' detox period due to all the fucking variables, but i always feel terrible afterwards. Never ends up being good. Plus its fucking expensive. I get so paranoid though after my comedowns about the consequences and implications from whatever drug im using could have on where im at in life, i end up just driving myself nuts. Maybe its just the pressures of my job that don't allow me to enjoy the highs and not worry about anything afterwards. Talk about a buzzkill.

 

DO BETTER COKE. BUY LESS SHITTY EXPENSIVE COKE

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ALCOHOL fucked my life up and put me in the position I'm in.

 

First off, sorry to hear your life is fucked up and you're in a bad position but alcohol didn't do that shit to you. Alcohol may have been a factor or a catalyst in creating a bad situation but alcohol did not fuck your life up. It was your inability to manage that substance that has you in a bad spot.

 

You don't read very well. ALCOHOL is my problem. I base my sobriety off of my problem. Or lack thereof now.

 

Actually, I read just fine and I comprehend what I read as well. Just because you base "sobriety" off of your previous problem with alcohol does not make you sober. Good for you for managing your issue but if you occasionally use drugs with the sole purpose of getting fucked up than by definition you're not sober...your argument is completely illogical. You can't be straight edge if you drink a few times a year and you can't be a vegetarian if you only eat meat twice a month (/nh). You can call yourself whatever you want but that doesn't make it true.

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my life isnt peaceful its a mess no lie shit never goes right i dont even know why not to mention i can barely function cuz im so high dark days go by. and certain people die my girl reach out and she try to hold my hand. but i cant even feel it im fucked up in the head son, real shit real talk, let me keep it one hundred not a single day goes by that im not blunted

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