vivouno Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 BUMPING THIS THREAD TO THE TOP..... DSD666 please share some more stories..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CannahMontana Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 the homie dsd needs to put in another story man. come on son, i know you got it in you no homo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siks6siks Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 so i just found out my friend is dating an x-porn star and he doesn't know it. classic. not like just posing nude. i'm talking 3 dicks at once type shit. i can go way in depth.....thread worthy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREE HOOVER Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 show him his girls porn haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREE HOOVER Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 i know a girl who sucked five dicks' im talkin shes in a circle sucking off dicks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siks6siks Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 yo i just dug super deep found some vidz she says where she is from no doubt its this girl. later on in the vid she fucks 2 black guys. i smell a thread coming on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famecrazy Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 don't talk about it, be about it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mewzer Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 MAKE DA THRED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 thread worthy, you have our blessing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 i know a girl who sucked five dicks' im talkin shes in a circle sucking off dicks Tell this story fool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 storytime bump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 alright you fucking assholes, we're almost to 10 pages, I never thought this thread would go past 1 before it got closed. thanks to all that shared. hi, my name is DSD, and I am a scumbag, HI DSD. I got a few short stories for yall. Ima end this thread on the worst one, in my opinion, soon. but I still got a few short ones off the top of my dome, that might carry this a few pages farther full of no homos and one of yall has to have something good. so here it goes, a few short stories for the evening, I hate yall... Laura done shit her pants... My girl laura who I have mentioned a few times already here use to stay at my cirb, from 96-2000 on and off. I actually stayed with these 2 brothers I was really close with, and their dad Mr. Wall took care of me, as long as I was in school. so laura dated the younger brother matt, who at the time was about 16. high school kid, nerdy as fuck, vietmanese and white, mad into anime way before I knew any other weird niggas into that kinda shit. laura was a 1st class slut from the day I met her. but a great friend none the less. matt and scott also had a little sister holly who is important to the story. just a backdrop also, Mr. Wall was in nam. He was a fucking gangster. when he got divorced he had a stress induced heart attack, and drove himself to the hospital. he talked very slow and even the smallest of convos took fucking forever, if you know the type, it will help you imagine dude talking... anyway, for months, these 2, laura and matt, would fuck, and niether of the fucks showered, as we were in our young punk rock days. all the time, there would be that funky sex smell of unwashed, fat people. yeah, they were both chunky at the time. but this smell was god awful. not the regular unwashed fat niggas fucking smell. you could smell straight ass in the air. one day laura tells me over smoking some weed that she been letting matt blow out her asshole because as she put it, it still technically meant the nigga was still a virgin. awesome. mind yall, were 16, in 96, I wasnt even smashing out girls buttholes yet, and I done fucked at least 40 skanks by then. so fast foward, we all get home from school one day, and mr. wall got the bathroom garbage can all dumped out on the middle of the living room floor, toilet paper, tissues, q tips, all this shit laying on the floor, gross as fuck, and the nigga is holding a big stick he got from outside. he tells us kids to all come into the living room. we all gather around the mess, and the nigga picks up a pair of panties, caked in shit, and asks us, whose panties are these. laura immediately turns bright red, I immediately aint high from the weed I smoked on the way home, scott busts out laughing falling down to the ground, and holly looks at laura, mind you she is like 12-13 years old, and says bitch dont look at me I weigh 90 pounds, those wouldnt fit me. yeah, they were some big girls drawers. mr. wall keeps a fucking straight face the whole time, and laura runs out the house. mind yall, like I said, these drawers were caked in shit. not no skid mark. caked. following the incident mr. wall lectures matt on anal sex, and I go to my homies house to smoke weed and I call the health department. as soon as the girl picks up the phone I tell her what I am about to say is not a joke and not to hang up on me. she says ok, and I assure her again this is not a joke, I got a serious question. not knowing because of bein 16, but figuring it was possible, I asked the chick if a girl gets fucked in the ass, can she shit her pants. she explained to me that the butthole muscle can get blown out and retract but it will go back to normal, but can tear, and yes, people can and do shit themselves after a healthy no homo buttfucking. good talk. thanks. laura never admitted to the shit, and she stuck around to being one of my all time best friends. funny in 04, when I lived with a homie on 7 mile, where marty b passed away, my roomates girl done shit all over his bed one night after she got fucked in the ass. I know this has happened to one of yall. feel free to share. we dont judge in this here thread, more to come later on tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivouno Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 HI DSD! Welcome back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 i've never got a full on shit story from an ass bang. but there have been many dangle-burry a-top of the ol head hat after pull-out. shit makes me shudder every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 ^so bad, I think I told the one of one of my hefty ass ex girlfriends already, if I didnt short story, she was a big ass girl, and she musta had a wiping problem, went to hit it from the back on night, and she had some toilet paper stuck inside the cheeks. totally turned me off to fat girls for a while, and broke up with her a few days later, but not til she bought me nba live. think it was 05 or so. and on to the next story, which has a few tied into each other, kinda a theme if you will.... Jenna tries to fuck DSD with a dildo while he is tied up, DSD gets revenge on innocent girl later that year... So another very close friend of mine, my girl jenna and I have been fucking on and off for a good 12 years now. she is a great girl, very fucking smart, psych major, but a fucking junkie. anyway, back in 2002 when I left my kids mom I moved in with a childhood friend when he bought his house. jenna came to visit one day, my homie had the day off, but was gone at the time, so we went in my room to fuck. mind you its about 4 in the afternoon on a hot ass summer day, and I wasnt really in the mood. but then she asks me some shit that got my attention. she asks if she can tie me up. by 2002 I had done damn near everything a man could want to do sexually, but somehow never did anything on the even mild kinky shit, so Im all for it. now this bitch musta been in the fucking boy scouts, cause even after being in the military, I still couldnt tie me up how this bitch had. she gets me tied up, gives me head for a minute, then stops. lights a cigerette, fucks around in my room for a few, goes on my computer, comes back, and gives me head for a minute or 2 and stops again. im getting pissed. I aint got ac in my room. its fucking hot. bad idea. I tell her I aint down anymore and she gets that evil fucking girl chuckle. she reaches into her backpack, and pulls it out. never forget. it was white, fat as fuck and slim at the top no homo, and prolly about 8 inches no homo. I aint ever let a bitch stick a finger in my asshole while sucking me off on some its cool it aint gay just try it type shit. fuck this. and fuck that noise to. I know one of yall let a bitch do that to you. well not DSD. not even all the shit I ever done. no sir. and now this bitch got voltron ready to plug my shit up. so I start screaming, straight the fuck up screaming. obsenities, death threats, shit that dont make sense. I aint pleading with her, I am straight up telling her I will kill you. why did I let her tie my legs up?!?!?! so this sly bitch in an attempt to calm me down comes up on me kissing on my neck and telling me no its ok she aint gonna do it trying to calm me down, but now I notice she is lubing the motherfucker up. I start screaming again. luckily my roomate came home, and started pounding on my door. Im tellin this nigga to kick the door down, and she is trying to get dressed saying no its ok. nah nigga it aint ok, kick the fucking thing in. he broke the locked door, and this bitch is in her bra and panties laughing. I got my flacid ass terrified dick flopped out tied the fuck up. he looks at me and does the whole ahhhh nigga I didnt want to see this look, walks out the room, and just yells, you ok. yeah nigga, I am now. look at her, untie me bitch. she laughs hysterically as she untied me, and I shoulda knocked her the fuck out. it took me a long time to trust a hoe, but never again was I tied up, but.... fast foward to the same year a little later. here in detroit we got this free paper called the metro times. has show listing, hipster shit, whatever. in the back is the tranny adds, the tute adds, and the free dateline phone numbers. so I start calling these free trial shits. I call damn near every number in the fuck, and alls I get is escorts, prostitutes, and fat black girls. I love me big girls til this day, but not fat black girls. never been attraced to them. anyway, I finally get this sweet ass sounding white girl. now, my experiences with sweet sounding white girls on the phone, is they are fat. she tells me her titty size, and it was something stupid. til this day I still have no idea how big they actually were, but they were the biggest titties a nigga ever saw (rip)! so I go to her crib, she invited me over to meet her, play tony hawk, and chill and smoke weed. I get there, and she is dope. she aint even fat! te biggest titties on a girl I have ever seen, and she is hardly chubby. 100 percent jackpot. we chilled for a couple hours just smoking and talking, end up making out, and on to the bedroom. we get to her room, and she asks me to tie her up! jackmotherfuckingpot. so I tie her up, and I go down on her for a good 20 minutes. we fuck for about 15 minutes, and I decide I wanna go hit the bowl, so I stop and without saying shit I go smoke weed, and start playing tony hawk. this bitch starts yelling at me to come untie her, and I keep telling her to hold up a minute. after smoking a bowl, of her weed, smoking one of her cigerettes, and playing tony hawk, I go back in the room. she is mad fucked up pissed. she tells me to untie her and get the fuck out or she is calling the cops. I actually thought of just dipping out without untying her, but I didnt. as soon as I untyed her she charged at me and tried to hit me. I just bolted for the door, left my cigerettes and lighter, and dipped. really fucked that one up, cause she was actually really good looking, and had super titties. I was, and still am, a complete fucking retard and always manage to fuck up the best of situations. which brings me to the 3rd installment...the dating line. after I got out of the military, I was staying in and out of motels cause I had no where to go. one of these joints is a notorious spot in detroit for prostitution, so after a week I dipped. I start calling these numbers trying to find some strange pussy, and I get this chick saying she has a room at the same motel I just dipped from. tells me the room number, got her cell phone, Im golden. so I go there. when I pull up I call and she dont answer. so I go knock on the door. as I am knocking I turn around and there is a cop car with 2 pigs just staring at me that I somehow did not notice. so after a few hard ass knocks I say fuck it and walk back to the whip. the cops roll up on me, and ask me what I am doing. I straight up tell them, trying to get some pussy. just got out the military. the cop that was driving looks at me and rolls his eyes and says, pussy, yeah right, and looks at me funny and drives away. I am mad confused, no homo. so I get back to my room, and call the bitch to see what the fucks up, and she answers. im like yo what happened I came over and banged on the door. this hoes voice changes and starts talkin bout, how do you feel about a dude sucking your dick. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nigga you got me. fuck you. I start talking mad shit and dude hangs up. I still til this day dont know if I woulda beat the shit out of dude in a rage, which is most likely, cause I just got home from the military, or just dipped. point is, be careful when you go to meet strangers for sex. in most of my experiences, hoes just dont meet for dick unless they fat and ugly, they a dude, or they getting paid. more stories tomorrow. good day fellow ch0 scumbag assholes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 hi, my name is DSD, and I am a scumbag, HI DSD. Shit had me rolling, anyway im gonna tell y’all the story of the time I thought I fucked a bitch to death. I was living in the Ventura/Oxnard area at the time, and me and the homies would head up to Santa Barbara on Wednesday nights for collage night on State St, the bars would have drink specials and the rich dumb collage girls from UCSB would be out in droves. This particular Wednesday was dead as fuck. Turns out it was spring break and most of the collage kids had bounced to Cancun or some such rich kid shit. So it’s only us and a few sad old drunks playing video poker ya know, so we decide to make it a hard drinkn night. Well about 2 hours in to it a gaggle of chicks showed up and I remember that, but I started “time traveling” right about then. You know waking up in the future? So everything that happened after that is second hand info… One of the homie starts talking to em and finds out that they are up from Ventura too, didn’t get the spring break memo either, so they come over and start drinking w/ us. Blah, blah, blah, I hit it off with this short little blondie named Kim. She was super shy and me being the drunken outgoing train wreck that I am, she thinks I’m funny. I woke up with her number in my pocket. So I call her and we go on a few dates, the standard coffee-movie- dinner progression. About 4 dates in I’m starting to get the hold out vibe, well I start hinting around and 5th date she invites me in and it’s on, we start getting down and she is the stiffest, deadest fuck I have ever had. Well I’m not gonna stand for that, and I pull out all the tricks. She starts getting to it, well, I’m thinking she is really in to it. I back off and tell her to roll over so I can hit it from the back, well she is still grunting and twitching. I’m starting to get weirded out, I try calling her name, shaking her, no response. So I flip the light on, and this bitch is foaming at the mouth and her eyes are rolled back in her head. I freeze up, the only time I had ever seen shit like that before was some junkie OD’ing. So I’m fucking freaking out, trying to get the fuck out of there. I’m going all CSI trying to wipe up DNA and shit, all that is going through my head is this bitch is OD’ing and the cops are gonna pin this shit on me and I didn’t even give anything to her. So I flee in to the night, and head to the crib to wait it out. Well her roommate shows up at like 5:30 the next morning on my porch pounding on my door and screaming at the top of her lungs. “You piece of shit she could have died, you coward, you just left her there!” and of course the standard mother fuckers and fuck yous for good measure. Well turns out Kim was epileptic, and the sex had brought on the seizure. She had to go to the hospital, almost bit her tongue off and shit. Needless to say, I never talked to her again. TLDNR? Cliff notes: Met a bitch at a bar while black out drunk, go on a few dates, end up smashing, she starts having a seizure, I don’t know she is epileptic or whats happening so I panic and bounce. Bitch almost bites her tongue off, and somehow I get the blame for it all 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
what it iz Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 eh, fuck it. I posted this story in the special sped dating thread, and there were enough of yall that enjoyed? it enough for a thread. plus I dont wanna fuck my mans thread up, so I start this. feel free to drop any stories you got. me, I got so many shameful stories, that even at once a week this thread will survive. don't be scurred niggas. come out with it. you fucked fat hoes? me to. you got burnt once? me to. you ate some yeast infection? me to. and if you are a hoe lurking and just wanna tell niggas how when you were 14 and lived in the trailor park and regularly got bustos ran on you cause uncle billy use to make you sit on his lap, pm me, let me get those digits, and fly me to your city so we can make porno flicks and so I can get the clap, again. dont be shy. drop your dirt here. unless your girl creeps on ch0. that shit is bad news. the original story, with another to follow shortly tonight. and fellas, no bullshitting here. no need to lie. once you came in this thread you were automatically marked a fucking scumbag sex fiend... "please bare with me for this might be long, but I am going to confess some shit that no man should ever confess to the oontz. but ch0 is my fav place to lurk, and yall seem like really bad people so let me share some foul stories with you. feel free to negaprop me for my actions but keep in mind I was a young man, who needed to get his dick wet. feel free to prop me for spilling shit that most my most close homies dont know about but will get to read and call and belittle me... for those of yall that are my age, you remember the dial up days of the net, aol chatrooms, free match.com, learning for the first time you can smash by using the internet. those days. well in 1997, I was one of those dudes. 17 years old, and just mad excited about the possibilities. mad bitches. first up, the 40? something year old who was probably more like 50 something I met in a michigan aol chatroom. 1997. not even 18 yet. big tittied bitch. like 40 eees big titties. the kinda titties a nigga would never fuck with in his grown man stage cause he knows with them big nasty to the floor droppin titties, this bitch got some stretch marks, a mole, and an unkept, hair comin out the panites bush. but at 17, drinking all kinds of 40's of the 45, these titties were good to go. from what I remember, I ended up at this broads house one mile out of detroit, in a city called Ferndale. for those of you that know detroit, you know Ferndale is our San Fran. gay capitol of the motor city. and of course this bitch had mad gay dudes as friends. so after many drinks, many shots, and many gay dudes staring me down talkin bout how good I look and how young I look, askin for id and shit, I decide I had enough and want to get to it. I vividly remember her telling me "no" as I tried to go down and eat the cake. and she really did try to tell me know, for about 30 drunk seconds, before she let me have it. she let me have it alright, nigga oatmeal. what's that dsd? for you youngins, thrush, cream of not good wheat out the puss, YEAST INFECTION my niggas! yeah. woke up the next morning, feelin like I did something very wrong. around the mouth, a little crusty, no joke. could of been from all the drunk snoring in a dry room. coulda been from eating peaches and old ass cream. I got plenty more stories from the late 90's internet dating scene. just say the word." I'ma keep it 100 with you. I read the first half expecting to shit all over you and your "shamefull, awfull sex stories" Then lay into how pussy you young kids are. But then I read the rest and it literally turned my stomach. You's a foul motherfucker. You go ahead and decide for yourself whether that's a win or a lose. :yuck: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CannahMontana Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 okay well heres my doodoo anal shit story....fuck. I use to work with this girl Olivia, real hot white chick, one of those kinds that love rap, talks shit, and likes the fight, but not the wigger type of chick though, just raised in the slums. bad ass body man, i mean ass for days, i can upload a pic on here, and actually you know what, i will after this story, we had just got back in touch, and right away she started sending me pictures, bitch loved the pipe, had her strung, aint talking that crackhead shit either, na meeen. but anyways, here in Cincinnati we got a radio station called WEBN and every year they have this huge firework show down on the river, shoot off big shits off a boat and shit. one night she calls me and says "hey what ya doing for the fireworks" i knew she wanted to chill for em, and i knew she would end up wanting to fuck me. she tells me were going to her aunt and uncles who lives next to the ohio river, we can watch the fire works from there balcony, i got there and instantly im uncomfortable. her aunt is this big fat redneck, bitch has on shorts made from jeans, you know the kinds were you just cut the legs off, a flannel with the sleeves cut off, and a coyboy hat on (she ended up showing me her tattoo later in the night, bitch had "bite me" right above her hairy ass puss i almost threw up) her uncle was a redneck covered in shitty tattoos and had long hair and had a short ass temper. well we start drinking, but she says before we get drunk i need to know if you need a ride home or not cuz ill take you no if so, i wanted to leave cuz her redneck ass family was creepin me out, but at the same time i wanted to smash so i stayed. so i bought a 24 case of bud light thinking this bitch would get drunk with me, but she had already got trashed quick drinking tequila with her aunt, well fast forward, i remember going to the bedroom, i wanted to fuck straight up, was sucking on the tits and trying to get wet, thats when the bitch hits me with that "im on my period shit" fucking bummer, but she must of wanted the dick bad cuz right away she considered anal, so man, drunk as fuck, no lube, no rubber, nothing, i remember hitting her in her ass for like half an hour, man.... i must of have gotten the case of the whisky dick and i went soft after a bit, and i was pissed cuz i didnt even get to nut, but from what i remember i didnt nut, i remember her stopping me and saying "fuck it lets just go to sleep" well i wake up freezing, bitch had the ac on full blast and was hogging all the blanket, so im laying there ass naked cold as fuck, i turn to grab the blanket and i pull a lil on top of me and i feel something cold and mushy, i look down, bitch had shitted all on the blanket, all over the bed and all over me...i wake her up and she looks at me like what, "bitch you fucking shatted all over the place" she gets up and i can see all the butt mud on her booty, she showered downstrairs and i showered upstairs, thank god we was both butt naked, i dont know how id feel if she got shit on om polo shirt and polo boxers, be going home in her uncles redneck gear. we still havnt spoke about that night, we both acted like it has never happened. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CannahMontana Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 here ya go. Olivia, aka Poop Shooter Extraordinaire [ATTACH]159435.vB[/ATTACH] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sars.Saw.Chicago Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 word 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 smash. even let her shit my bed. shower, and smash again. no shame. good shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Which one of you used that bathroom to scrub yourself off in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karl_Hungus Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 First thread I've ever read top to bottom. I must visit detroit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CannahMontana Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Which one of you used that bathroom to scrub yourself off in? lmao, neither, whole diff bathroom, whole different house. i dont ever wanna step foot in that bathroom again, let alone her crazy redneck family's household. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CannahMontana Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 i got a phone line chat story too DSD funny you bring that up my dude, well lets get into it. One night im just chillin, watching some old school dragonball Z smoking a bowl of some chronic just chillin, well i get super bored, its about 1 am, and i have nothing to do, tons of chronic, a flask full of that kickin chicken, nobody to kick it with nothing, everybody was either sleep, at work, already out doing something, well a commercial for one of those phone chat lines comes on, if im not wrong i remember it being "Live Links" phone chat or something like that, said try it free, so im like word, well lets see what this hype is all about and see if i can find some shortys to fuck with, so they give you like 30 free minutes to hear girls adds send em messages and connect live with bitches that live in the same city you live in, or cities near by, well im skipping through the adds (hella old bitches looking for love, and casual disscussions and whatnot well fuck all that) i come across this add, a bitch wanting a guy or two to come over and get bossed up, sounds like shes in her thirties, but sounds sexy though, and even better the bitch said she was residing in Westwood. hell yeah, same hood as me, well she says serious replies only, so i send her a message and say "hey serious reply here, bored horny as hell looking to get sucked up, heres my number 513 bla bla bla hit me up, well like 2 minutes go by and i get a phone call, and its that bitch. So i answer we start talking and stuff, i ask were she stays and she tells me such and such street, so im like cool, only like two blocks from me, bitch tells me shes slim, 31, long brown hair, pretty smile, c cup titties, and i describe myself and whatnot and shes like cool, (im only 19 at the time just thought id toss that in) well i ask her if she smokes weed she says hell yeah, so i start picking a few lil nice size nugs out my stash, and i tell her ill head over shortly give her a ring when im on her street. now Cincinnati is fucked up, not like Detroit but we have a fare shares of robberies, murders and whatnot, so im no dumb nigga, i never get caught slippin so im starting to think..hmmm like what if this bitch is setting me up, what if i get there walk in, and boom theres to masked men beating me down till i give up the goods, so i start thinking to myself, should i bring my burner? then again its late out, and in westwood, cops creep the streets like no other at this time, then i think well fuck it i pack it alot why not now when your meeting up with some chick you never met up with, and then im thinking, well what if you go to smash ol girl, and you have to take the burner off your waist and lay it on the night stand, whats old lady gonna think? gonna scare the bitch, so im having this war with my self on what choice ima make, finally im like fuck it man just leave it here, this bitch sounds legit. since its like two blocks away, i just walk, it feels good out. i get on her street give her a ring, she comes out on the porch, turns out her bitch lives directly across the street from one of my crew mates, im like hmmm..this is ironic. well bitch was 31, and looked 21! omg, fine broad, top notch milf, im thinking to myself, damn gotta fuck with these chat line numbers more often. well we go inside, and right away i notice family photos hanging up, bitch has 2 young kids, and a husband, looked like a pretty swolle dude not the guy you wanted to fuck with or get on his bad size, and i ask her bout the pictures, said her kids are at the grandmas for the night, hubby is at work, so im like ehh cool, but at the same time having images of this big ass nigga coming in the door and beating me down, but i just say fuck it, we sit down on the couch and i ask if she wants to smoke, so i roll up a nice little stoagie, me and her sit there watching tv for a sec puffing this L just talking bout random shit, well i throw the roach in a ash tray, and no lie this chick looks at me and flat out says "well you want your cock sucked or what hun" just hearing a sexy lady tell me straight forward like that gave me a hard on in like 3.5 seconds, so i say hell yeah, i stand up unbuckle the belt slide down the levis and she starts bossin me up. Yo you ever stand there getting head while a girl is toppin you off and your getting tired of holding your shirt up so you just take it off? well thats what i did, i took off the polo and threw it on the floor, (yes another night wearing polo, im a lo fanatic) im just standing there getting bossed up, and i hear the keys hit the door, im like fuck, instantly im thinking oh shit, macho man randy savage is here to beat my ass fuck!, i go to pull up my pants the door opens up and he sees me, i look at him, No lie, homeboy has the Sheriff uniform on, (dude is a C.O downtown at county) i thought dude was gonna pull his strap and tell me to freeze and shit, i run for the kitchen hoping theres a back door, there isnt, i go to climb through this window, this fucking window is tiny as fuck, and as im trying to squeeze through, frank the deputy is grabbing onto my leg, i start kicking as wild as i can i break loose and fall to the ground outside, i jump up, i only have one of my shoes, im shirtless, belt is still unbuckled i grab ahold of my pants and run like the wind, i cut through this back yard, and i come out on a main street were this school is, i run into the playground of this school and duck down by this bush to catch my breath, smoking heavy amounts of weed and ciggs is not a good thing when it comes to having to run for your life, im weezing, feels like my chest is tight, got that lump in my throat no homo, just sitting there like fuck, i see a pick up truck pull of her street im like fuck thats him, i crawl under the bush, and lay there, shirtless, bush is all prickling me and shit, im pissed, breathing hard, my fucking polo is in ol girls crib, and one of my sneakers, im just over all pissed about the whole thing, i lay there for about an hour, dude is circling the blocks looking for me, finally i get up and creep back to the crib. a few days later im over my homies crib, sitting on his porch drinking a couple 40s and theres a uhaul truck out in front of this bitches crib, hubby was packing shit, and i was just cracking up, i told my homie the story, and we just sat there getting weak at the whole thing, to this day i pray if i go to county again, the guy booking me in is not this dude, that would really suck. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siks6siks Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 see, and IM the bad one for not reciprocating in anal ?(see purple people eater story) fuck that..now you see why. You can call me 'typical' ..' "backing" down on a deal' ..'bitch' or whatever..but the one thing you wont be calling me is 'the person on the recieving 'end' of one of these stories. and that whole siezure bit-scary. Ive blacked out/passed out a few times during sex-funny thing is the men it has happened with, get all big headed and think they fucked me so good, that i passed out. Then i remind them of my lil brain issue. get over yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish meatloaf Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 aside from the customary brown liquid funk on the tip when you pull out, i dont really have any amazing doodoo accident stories, at least not that i can recall.. except this: last summer, around the pinnacle of a pretty bad dope habit, my current girl moved in with me. everytime we did a bag homegirl would get horny as fuck, even if we were in someone elses house she would whip my dick out of my draws, pull up her skirt and try to get me to lace her pussy right there in her friends living room while her kids are running around the house (yeah i know scummy as fuck but what can you do?). that being said, at my crib, we would always get high and fuck around. i will tell you first hand that while achieving erection high on heroin is often very difficult, it is not impossible. and for a while i had a pretty good handle on this. sex was still very, if not more enjoyable. her position of choice was usually 69 with me on top, which i didnt really have a problem with because it granted me more leverage to drill her mouth. for some reason though when we would get real into it she would be doing things with her finger to my leather cheerio. id usually just tell her to knock it the fuck off and she would. in retrospect i should have expected that since usually i would be knuckle deep in her ass while i dined on her snapper. one very, very hot summer day we each do five dimes in one shot a piece, and commence to our regular fucking around. once again, its the reverse 69, and she asks if she can lube up her finger and try it on me once, making sure to remind me of all the times she had given up the bootyhole in the recent past. im geeked as fuck and nodding out pretty lovely so i think "fuck it go head" (/nh). its this exact way of thinking paired with the needles sex and feces that puts your typical heroin user at a higher risk for contracting diseases, illnesses and unsuccessful existence aka LIFE FAIL. so anyway this girl is probably working my guts or whatever, dont really remember everything crystal clear but long story short, afterward she pulls her finger out of my ass and its covered in liquidy, tanish brown dookie. she says "ewwwwwwwww" and gets up to run to the bathroom. and im thinking to myself "yup thats what this bitch gets for trying to violate my rump while im incompacitated". and to this day, even in soberdom, has this girl ever tried to finger me again. and thats just the way i like it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 and that whole siezure bit-scary. Ive blacked out/passed out a few times during sex-funny thing is the men it has happened with, get all big headed and think they fucked me so good, that i passed out. Then i remind them of my lil brain issue. get over yourself. The sad part is that the whole train wreck could have been avoided if she would just have mentioned it, ya know? "Oh by the way I'm epileptic. So if your around and I start to have ye ol grand mal seizure, here is a list of things you should and shouldn't do" A heads up is all I ask for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swordfish meatloaf Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 i would have kept piping til i was done... regardless of epilepsy. once i start i cant stop. anal opportunity. her fault. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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