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shameful/awesome sex story souperthread.


DSD666
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quick one from my teenage years, I had skipped school and went to a friends house that dropped out already to smoke weed. hit up the shitter and next to the toilet was his stepdads hustler collection, so being that scumbag I am, I flushed some babies down the toilet (no homo) real quick. I was wearing those adidas windbreaker pants, but the ones that are mad thin material, and didnt think shit of it. fast foward an hour or so, and I go to take a piss, and had some dried dead babies around my peehole and pissed all over myself. to play it off I just laughed at myself and walked out in the living room like no big deal and his mom had come home. needless to say I felt dumb with no whip to bounce out, and sitting in my own piss for my boy and his moms to laugh at me. also, my girl of 6 years on and off broke up with me today. we live together for a week or so till I dip. first order of business, bust dead babies on her cool side of the pillow. taking requests. happy vd day. wrap your shit fellows. pissing razors isn't as cool as it sounds.

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so i'm staying at my grandparents house for a bit. this girl i've know for a while comes over. we were watching tv in the basement and one thing lead to another, we got to business. so shes riding me for a min, i pull her up onto my face to eat her box and after a bit o'lickin, i hear my grand mom call my name. we're startled so homegirl jumps off my face and runs to the bathroom with her clothes, i grab mine and run to the laundry room. so i'm rushing to slide up my skibbies and get my shirt on before gmom walks down and i notice some red on my dick. i'm like fuuuuuuuck. i look in the mirror and i look like a fucking clown. red face and lips. bummer. i was super disappointed.

 

that doesn't compare to shit face dick wacker, but thats the only story i had that i felt was worthy of this thread.

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I feel like I gotta go get my red wings real quick, what?, being from detroit and all, it's a must. speaking of detroit, let me clue yall into a couple things that bother me about my city that the world thinks it knows. one, yes it is grimy here, and the eastside for the most part looks like a bombed out 3rd world country, but it aint as bad as cats make it out to be. it probably is hands down the worst city in the country, and economically unless you have a family here and just can't get out right now, you're a fucking retard for being here. that said, it's a pretty swell place to live, if you like murder, bums, dope, and crooked cops. 2, eminem. not all white boys jock em here. actually, a lot of us see him for what he is, one of the most overated and wack mc's of all time. now dont get all 7th grade I just got statachory raped hurt on me, it's just an opnion, but if you know, you know that the nigga aint really got shit to do with detroit, and never really did.

 

now that I got that off my chest, another quick one. red wings. my homie. 1997, same old story, lots of acid, and 40's of the 45 mixed this particular night. one of my best friends, my girl laura, and this kid nick I use to kick it with, went to fuck on 5 hits of super strong liquid. nick and I also shared a 5th of popov vodka that night, and I had 2 40's. so nick goes in lauras room, and I am tripping balls in another bedroom with this girl meagan. now meagan weighed a good 400 pounds, and that aint no joke. not only was she super super fat and short, but she smelled like shit and piss. I know this because 2 things, one, the bitch smells like shit and piss, and 2, cause she regularly stayed at lauras house, and laura told me that whenever meagan was sick, she was litterally so fat and lazy, she would shit and piss the bed, which ultimately ended her staying there. anyway, meagan is tripping also, and she is laying in the bed and just grinning, and I am tripping something horrible now, and she keeps looking at me smiling, and the only thing I could think of the whole time was Jabba the Hut. so for whatever reason I start looking at lauras junior high school yearbook, and it just so happens to have a fucking handcapped section!

 

nowI am all for retarded people, my homie once told me that retarded people are the happiest people on earth because, "just look at the niggas, they are always smiling, drooling, aint gotta pay no bills, the niggas are always happy." maybe true, but when you're starting to have a bad trip, the last thing you wanna see looking up at you is a 2 page spread of handicapped kids smiling at you. it freaked me out so bad I shot up off the floor, I was sitting indian style, knocked over my full just cracked open 40, didn't bother to pick it or clean it up, because jabba was smiling at me like she wanted some snacks or some dick, neither she gets from me.

 

so I run home, about 2 miles away, and as soon as I get to the crib my boy I lived with and his family at the time, is standing there saying call laura. I call her and she is sobbing talkin bout come back nick is freaking me out. I asked her what was wrong? apperently my man insisted, tripping the fuck out, to let him go down on her while she was bleeding. both are tripping. she decides to let him have a go, and I guess after a few minutes, my man comes up, bloody as face, and tries to start making out with her, making snorting noises and shit. 100 100 fam. she has told the story a few times and everytime she tells the story I am absoloutely horrified, cause I was tripping balls, I cannot even imagine how she felt. I didnt end up going back but she called me quite a few times begging me to, and at one point she said homeboy was sitting in her dads chair, who passed away in that house, staring at her moms bird in the birdcage talking about jesus and shit.

 

my boy nick, who oftened talked about killing himself, was a whiteboy who went to one of the biggest catholic schools in metro detroit. years later he "converted to islam" and then a few more years later, last time I seen him, in 06 I believe, he was not only a huge converted christian, that had a pocket bible everwhere he went spreading the good word, but told me he has mad ak's and bottled water buried in his backyard for the rapture. good dude.

 

next up, the laura done shit her drawers fucking a "virgin" story.

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aaah only thing i got for my 21 birthday was drunk and the clap. I wanted

to kill the bitch but she moved to chicago before i could put hands on her. Next time i see her

ass she sober and had gained 70 lbs.

When i used to do valet there was this little japanese black girl who lived

in the southfield projects who would come up and hang out with me while i worked.

Now i would get tipped big when ever she was up there She would be sitting

outside the valet booth and nogs would be like thats your girl? here you go. spend it

with her. Anyhow she was ok. Not so bright but easy going and down to fuck. We used

to gets it on inside peoples cars that I parked while i was working. Kinda miss mya

A few days ago i was trolling Backpage and found her selling it

HERE SHE GO

No clue what shes charging. Her add shes sayin she can have intelligent conversation which is

a damn lie. She had that straight black asian hair but insisted on putting african hair wax in it nonetheless.

Shit would get on my pillowcases. Wake up and my face is stuck to the damn pillow.

Part of the reason i stopped fucking with her.

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3900_76243444726_511054726_1641081_358460_n.jpg

 

this lil hoe lied about being pregnant when i was 16.

we decided to fuck raw because it didnt matter anymore.

i start fingering her, and then like a fuckin alarm clock she had her period all over my hand.

 

n32817717_34838390_5997.jpg

 

this girl gave head with the most teeth i have ever experienced.

it was so bad, i had to start jacking off and nutted in her hair.

bitches hate nut in their hair.

 

n773430053_1249659_1929.jpg

 

bitch on the right had the hairiest pussy i have ever fucked.

gives me shivers down my spine.

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ONCE ABOUT A DECADE AGO... GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME, VIOLENT SMASHING OF THE VAGINUS, THEN WITHOUT WARNING, AND GREAT AIM AND PRECISION IF I SAY SO MYSELF, I PULLED IT OUT AND DRILLED IT IN HER RUMP.

 

WELL AS SOON AS THAT HAPPENED IT WAS LIKE A SHOOTING PAIN FOR HER, SHORTY LOOKED LIKE SHE GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING, YOU KNOW THOSE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS THAT COME TO AN ABRUPT STOP WHEN .... WELL YOU KNOW THAT OLD ELECTROCUTION TYPE SHIT. I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF FROM LAUGHING. UNTIL THIS DAY, I MAINTAIN MY INNOCENCE AND CLAIM "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT"

 

ANOTHER TIME (IRONICALLY THE SAME GIRL) SHE WAS JUST KINDA JOKING AROUND I GUESS, WE WERE DRUNK, SHE WAS LICKING MY TAINT/KNUTS WHILE I WAS LAYING ON MY STOMACH. WELL AN OPPORTUNITY AROSE HERE, I FELT A GASSER COMING, AND LET IT GO. WELL AT THIS POINT HER NOSE WAS BURIED BETWIXT THY CHEEKS, AND THIS FART WENT STRAIGHT UP IN HER NOSE AND SHE INHALED IT. HOMEGIRL STARTED DRY HEAVING AND SHIT, DIFFICULTY BREATHING AND ALL THAT. SHE ENDED UP RUNNING TO THE TOILET AND WRETCHING FOR A FEW MINUTES. I WAS IN A FRENZY OF LAUGHTER. THE TIMING AND POSITION WERE PERFECT, I WAS PROUD. WOULDA GOT MEGA BONUS POINTS IF SOME DIARRHEA WOULD HAVE CAME WITH IT BUT WE CANT ALL BE WINNERS.

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Since i'm free as of a few months ago.

 

I fucked my PO's daughter. One of them at least. Details can be furnished, but honestly, it's kinda pointless. I met her at a party, fucked her rotten, then found out months later that not only is she my PO's daughter, but a lot younger than she said she was. Let's just say, she was a dirty, dirty whore (just the way i like em`).

 

My ex used to love to tell that story to strangers who didn't "know me", not even as some sort of character assassination thing, either. It's weird when overachieving women like your delinquent behavior. Gas on the fire.

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ONCE ABOUT A DECADE AGO... GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME, VIOLENT SMASHING OF THE VAGINUS, THEN WITHOUT WARNING, AND GREAT AIM AND PRECISION IF I SAY SO MYSELF, I PULLED IT OUT AND DRILLED IT IN HER RUMP.

 

WELL AS SOON AS THAT HAPPENED IT WAS LIKE A SHOOTING PAIN FOR HER, SHORTY LOOKED LIKE SHE GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING, YOU KNOW THOSE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS THAT COME TO AN ABRUPT STOP WHEN .... WELL YOU KNOW THAT OLD ELECTROCUTION TYPE SHIT. I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF FROM LAUGHING. UNTIL THIS DAY, I MAINTAIN MY INNOCENCE AND CLAIM "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT"

 

ANOTHER TIME (IRONICALLY THE SAME GIRL) SHE WAS JUST KINDA JOKING AROUND I GUESS, WE WERE DRUNK, SHE WAS LICKING MY TAINT/KNUTS WHILE I WAS LAYING ON MY STOMACH. WELL AN OPPORTUNITY AROSE HERE, I FELT A GASSER COMING, AND LET IT GO. WELL AT THIS POINT HER NOSE WAS BURIED BETWIXT THY CHEEKS, AND THIS FART WENT STRAIGHT UP IN HER NOSE AND SHE INHALED IT. HOMEGIRL STARTED DRY HEAVING AND SHIT, DIFFICULTY BREATHING AND ALL THAT. SHE ENDED UP RUNNING TO THE TOILET AND WRETCHING FOR A FEW MINUTES. I WAS IN A FRENZY OF LAUGHTER. THE TIMING AND POSITION WERE PERFECT, I WAS PROUD. WOULDA GOT MEGA BONUS POINTS IF SOME DIARRHEA WOULD HAVE CAME WITH IT BUT WE CANT ALL BE WINNERS.

 

Why the fuck you yelling?...good story though.

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OLD STORY: 96' OR 97'

 

DOIN THIS FINE FILIPINO GIRL,

IN THE MIDDLE,

HAD NO LUBE,

I RAN TO THE BATHROOM ONLY FINDING THE UNDER-ARM DEODERANT "GEL" SO I SLAPPED SOME ON MY COCK,

WENT BACK IN THE ROOM STARTED BACK WHERE I LEFT OFF,

OUT OF NOWHERE SHE SAYS ,

WAIT A MINUTE I TOOK THE LOTION OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND LEFT IT IN MY CAR FROM TANNING,

WHAT DID YOU USE,

I SAY DON'T WORRY,

SHE ASKS AGAIN,

I FINALLY SAY WHAT I USED,

SHE SCREAMS GET THAT OUT OF ME!

I DON'T WANT THAT IN ME!!!

PULLED OUT,

HAD TO RUN IT MANUALLY!

DAMNIT!

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DSD you are my hero (nh) the shit you say in the Detroit thread always has me dyin, once i seen you started this thread i had to peep game, and sure enough i almost pissed my pants in laughter, much love from cincinnati, im gonna put up some shameless stories on here, and like you said, hopefully none of my boys on here peep and call me up giving me shit, but its like almost 5:30 in the morning and i been playing the warriors all night long and my anxiety is starting to kick in and i have no blunt to calm it thanks to felony probation for graff so i think ill save it for another night.

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fuck it here goes nothing.

 

so much shit went down in like two hours.

 

Okay, so i was dating this philipino broad when i was 18 she was 17 at the time, i think might of been 16 idk oh well, anyways real sexy ass girl, tan skin, kinda chinky eyed but not to chinky ya know, dark brown hair, most wetest pussy ever, well she was riding me one day in her bedroom, and like her mom would go to work (her mom hated me) and like she lived in this 2 family, and would sneak me up these stairs to her room cuz her little 4 year brother would be watching cartoons and shit below us, well were up in her room, buckey ass naked gettin it in and i hear her little brother coming up the stairs, (she has no lock on her door) so i jump up fully naked and run over by her closet, well her brother is banging on the door wanting her to come down and watch cartoons and shit with her, here she is butt ass naked leaning up against the door so he cant come in, she tells him shes doing her hair and stuff and shell be down in a bit, he goes back downstairs. she leans over onto the bed and i start hitting it from the back, man oh man does this bitch's pussy start farting like crazy, thats how wet this girl gets. after a bit i pull out and nut all over her hardwood floor. shes ass naked walking across the room pussy farting the whole way with every step she took, it seriously sounded like a duck, like somebody stepped on a duck and shit, she bends over to pick up her panties, and her pussy gives out this loud squishy fart right then and there i say out loud "AFLACK" (in the ducks voice) she turns and gives me this kinda pissed off smile, and im just dying laughing, after a nit of chillin, and letting me tag her booty and catch the ol cell phone flick of it, we start to fuck again, this time shes begging me to put it in her ass, and again shes bent over onto her bed, so i pull out and take a cruise up the ol hershey highway, ya know parking the beef bus in turd town, after a bit of ramming her cinnamon hole i bust a nut all inside her, as i pull out, she shits all over the place, like that half turd half watery kinda shit, it hits her hardwood floor and splashes all over my feet and legs, and man this shit stunk, she apologizes right away and her face was red as hell, and no lie these were her exact words "i knew i shoulda took a dump before you came over" she tells me shell be right back, goes downstairs to get some stuff to clean it up with, so here i am, all by myself sitting on the edge of this chicks bed looking down at my shit covered feet thinking WTF and she comes back up with a wet rag and i clean my legs off (not like i can just go shower with her little bro right down stairs and all) so i clean my legs off and bounce, and thats pretty much it.

 

next time ill tell you guys about the story of the 45 year old married milf sucking me up in her livingroom after i had met her on a phone chat line, that one really has an amazing twist to it.

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