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shameful/awesome sex story souperthread.


DSD666
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lets break up the homo snitching, shit is completely uncalled for. saturday night I was suppose to be the designated driver as usual, went the the Tigers game with a few homies, hit a chill ass day spot, went to a house party for a bit, and drove us to our local bar. mind you we been going here for 5 or so years, know everyone, but on the weekend there is always hoes that we aint seen yet so its a pretty good bar. anyway, I took a half a football on the way to the bar, and when we got there my boy had a beer leftover from the drive. so I slammed it. mind yall like I have said before, I drink maybe 4-5 times a year. so I get smashed quickly.

 

after at least 9 shots of tequilla that we could trace through bills and people that said they bought them for me, 6 shots of crown, and a few beers, I was blacked out drunk. apperently I am a mean ass drunk also, and this is how I woke up easter morning...

 

stark ass naked, in my homies parents bsaement, with a huge cut going down the side of my face, from above my eye down, and a pair of my ex girlfriends panties next to my head. my homies pops came downstairs, looked at me, laughed, and dipped. I get up, turn on the lights, there is said panties, which are still in my backpack, the cut, and I woke up with a pocket full of xanax bars. I didnt have a dollar to my name, not sure how I got them. come to find out I smashed out my ex at 5 am. I need to drink more often...

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Why is that so unbelievable? I am an alchoholic, and when i quit drinking i was at a case + a fifth a day. I have relapsed several times and i can still drink that much easy. Take me to a bar motherfucker, and JUST WATCH. 17 shots is easy, i would black out, yeah.. But whatever. Good luck being a pussy. The dudes from detroit.

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it's funny how niggas on the internet love to talk shit. 17 drinks really AINT shit. last month I lost a ridiculous bet and had to wear a dress no homo to the bar, and just to get the nerve up to do it my homie and I split a 5th before we even stepped foot in the bar and I still did shots all night. not to mention the fact you missed I was on xanax, and anyone that has drank on that shit knows you have no fucking idea what you are doing, other than being awesome, and possibly superman. I dont drink because like crack rock steady said, when I was bartending 5 plus years I nearly dided multiple times from drinking related incidents, so I cut the shit out my life. I suggest you stop being such a hipster fucking pussy drinking imported draft beer and wearing pants that cut of the circulation to your dick no homo and man the fuck up when you go to the bar. even when I wore a dress I still got blacked out faded and ripped the shit off at some point and tried to fight niggas. nigga I aint 18, I can handle 20 plus drinks in a night. I just dont remember doing it, and wake up with scars and bruises cause I like getting hit in the face. pussy.

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My homie John (rip) was smashing this girl in this dudes pool at the party once late at night, my homie gets done, goes to hop out the pool, and realizes the condom aint on his dick, this dude swims around the pool looking for this condom cuz he dont want it to get sucked into the engine or whatever and fuck up our homies pool, my nigga cant find the condom for shit, so he gives up. the next morning my dude told me when he woke up next to his bitch, he started kissing her neck, feeling on her clit wanting to fuck again, he goes to slide his finger in her, feels something, and pulls out the condom. bitch slept with that jimmy hat inside her all night long. how gorss, how much of a loose ass whore can you be that you cant feel a rubber up inside you.

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I think i told the story before of my female friend in college who had a similar story.

She was getting banged out by her normal FWB and he lost the condom and didn't think

nothing of it. Later that night she was getting finger blasted by some dude at a frat party

and he pulled the other dudes condom out. :haha:

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Why is that so unbelievable? I am an alchoholic, and when i quit drinking i was at a case + a fifth a day. I have relapsed several times and i can still drink that much easy. Take me to a bar motherfucker, and JUST WATCH. 17 shots is easy, i would black out, yeah.. But whatever. Good luck being a pussy. The dudes from detroit.

 

Because he just got done saying that he only drinks 4-5 times a year and that he was on xanax even before he started drinking.

People who only drink 4-5 times a year get drunk off a six pack.

 

I too have a hard time picturing somebody who only drinks 4-5 times a year surviving 17 shots of liquor + xanies.

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The fact that I'm supposed to believe a dude that's xanied the fuck out is supposed to make me believe you more?

 

Wait a minute! Now I know why you were able to have the beers, it's American beer so they don't count.

 

Second of all, as a dude who is not an alcoholic but has gotten absolutely shittered drunk 3 times within the last week, I'll tell you right now unless you weigh 300lbs or you were an alcoholic, your lying or didn't realize that half the drinks you bought you gave to ugly hoes.

 

Ya I've drank 17 drinks in a night, but I ended up laying in a garden puking on myself.

 

Alice Cooper used to take down a 40 of vodka every day. It's believable but not from a dude who doesn't drink. And not in the allotted amount of time your describing.

 

UmAd?

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I don't see what the deal is calling bullshit on the 17 drinks story. I am the exact same social drinker..oonce maybe a month do i go out and get fucking hammered but when i do its long islands and shots of jameson and $100+ bar tabs, and yes i have woken up with cuts, bruisers, shit piss and and in all sorts of places unfamiliar to me so really, unless you want to visit the D and call the dude out in person just take it at face value. shit

 

and also, I think spinach has some repressed /yeshomo feelings for his mikey. why the fuck else would you bother calling the law over some phone call i love you bullshit. you don't have enough going on in your life that you need to put him on blast like that? damn people are dumb quick to call that 911 over bullshit. least contact as possible, thank you

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