vanfullofretards Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 ...at the end I wrote my name on the wall in her blood with my dick. GAAAHHHHHHH!!! I hope the wall wasn't textured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Power Bill Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 lost used condom- found. back door pudding surprise. Shot in own eye. Busted by squirt stains and other chart-topping hits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 real quick one, and this shit freaks me out more than most shit. back in 95 or 96, about 5-10 of us, I don't remember the exact count, were smoking weed and drinking 40's in the homies basement, when my boy dave showed up with a hoodrat. after a bunch of young teen peer preasure, we got the bitch to get naked, but she wouldn't let us run a train. my boy dave starts fucking her in a shitty nasty basement side room, you know, the kind your parents never fucking used, light don't work, and that mattress been down there since you used to shit your drawers, dark and nasty in other words. in the heat of the moment, this bitch moved to the main room of the basement, and fucked my boy in front of all of us. she then asked everyone to smash from the back. I was mad excited but I ended up being one of the last, if not 2nd to last. while smashing, we would walk over, hand joints, give daps, laugh in this hoes face, it was the first train I had ever been apart of, but.... when it was my turn, and I know I had at least one dude behind me, I couldn't get my dick hard. this bitch had the worst granny titties, at like 16, and mad spaghetti stomach. somehow, I had missed all this, probably because I was so excited for some reason to run a train. I was ridiculed for a long time, years. the bitch ended up having herpes after high school, and I didn't feel so bad. but I was made fun of daily for having a small limp dick and not being able to smash. did wonders for my self esteem, which I still had at the time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I know of a girl who is about to have a 30 man train ran upon her in the next few days, from what I've heard its been in the making a good few weeks and near enough all of the participants are north london somalians... I'll find out more info when I'm at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanfullofretards Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Would you like to hear the story of the Midnight Caller? One of you will have to be the caller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 To all the haters and nay sayers, either post a story or shut the fuck up. Anyway, This next one is from a few years ago, one of those oppurtunities in life you fuck up for dumb reasons. Anyhow, it was around my freshman year of college I believe and I was in the process of seeking employment. So I head up to this upscale resturant, and by upscale I mean good enough for wealthy suburbanites. I couldnt of been older than 19, probably more like 18 so I couldnt ''legally'' drink so after I asked the bitch at the front for an application she told me to go wait out in the dining area which was on this deck over the water away from the bar. I couldnt have been sitting for more than 5minutes waiting when this older woman, im thinking she told me late 30's, 38 or sum comes and ask if she can take a seat. Not thinking much of it I tell her its cool, she sits down, introduces herself and after small talk winds up buying us drinks. We drink a few beers, continue to talk for what seemed like 30mins to an hour. We talked about everything, she told me shit about how she was Italian, and how she was from Chicago and had mob ties and what not in her family. Aside from that we just continued to drink, talk about traveling and just small talk and she never once mentioned anything or said anything that would lead me to think her motives where attraction/sexual of any nature. I figured she was just waiting on someone, had been stood up, or was just passing the time. So finally the dumb bitch at the front comes to me with an application apologizing saying she had totally forgotten and she was sorry and all this other shit, I could care less I had gotten a good buzz for nada. Anyway, me and the milf go to split ways and she kinda pulls me aside or whatever youd call it once we had gotten to the parking lot and says something along the lines of ''not today, but here is my number. If you decide you want to see me again after today give me a call and well work it out''. So im excited as shit of course, hadnt been with an older woman in like a year. Fast forward a few days I give her a call, and we set up a day for me to roll over her place. She text me the address, I mapquest it and the day of I roll to her place. As I arrive I see the mailbox with the numbers of her address and could barely believe I was at her place, it was a fucking mansion. I mean once I got inside I could see she had an outdoor pool, tennis courts, boat, you know crazy rich people shit. So I start to wonder how the fuck a single woman has a set up like that. I didnt really know what to expect on the first encounter but we wound up fucking all over her house. I banged her on the couch, the coffee table, in the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom. Basically I took that cougar pussy to the house, she had somewhat of a bush but I couldnt really care. She liked to dirty talk but she would like whisper it, telling me shit she wanted and yada yada yada. Afterwards we had fucked for probably an hour straight or so and I finished up on her tits by request and was ready to split. She politley ask if I want anything, water, soda, beer whatever and I decline as I was just trying to GTFO. Then she looks at me all weirdly and ask ''Do you uh, charge for this sort of thing?'' and I was so dumb founded I didnt really know what to say. In hind sight I would of said yeah of course I do thatll be _______. But at the time all I could think was something was fishy about her and all her wealth and I didnt want to be a literal whore. So again I declined and left. After that I lost her number somehow and never heard from her again, but to this day im still wondering if I fucked a Mob bosses wife or something, whatever it was good pussy and made for a good story. ***Cliffnotes: While job hunting I run into an older woman who turns out to want my dick, she brings me home and she lives in a fucking mansion and tries to pay me for sex afterwards. And theres a slight chance she could of been a Mob wive. The end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Snitch. not really dude.... basically the idea was to front like we would snitch her out, and get loot snitching was not a part of the deal, but you can think of it how you want to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 The only time I ever fisted a broad, it was a 35 year old military wife who ran a home daycare. She had a myspace picture with her titties out completely, and was messaging all kinds of dudes talking about she was rolling and wanted to fuck. I had just woke up from a 2 day x binge, and was like fuck it, so I drove 20 miles to the suburbs with my eyes barely working, took pics of her on her livngroom floor with her plastic vinyl underwear set on, and dove into her pussy literally. She wanted me to put my whole fist in it. I obliged, and felt all sorts of weird tied off knots from where her kids must have come out sideways and tore her up. I should have known it was sketchy that she insisted I park my car in her garage, but when I woke up I realized she ran a home day care, and I had to stay there until nap timeand sneak out. Later on I found out she was married to a soldier, hence parking in he garage so nobod knew I was there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 *Edit: LOL at DAO for getting mad at the interwebz My entire life I've always given the false impression that I'm mad when I'm actually chillin. Slaying dipshits is kinda therapeutic for me and makes me the opposite of mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12packprophet Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 this bitch had the worst granny titties, at like 16, and mad spaghetti stomach. Sounds like she probably had an infant at home. Probably being watched by her parents or baby daddy while she was getting ran triz on by a bunch of dudes in some grimy ass basement. You should look this winner up on facebook or some shit and post the link for lols. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 lost used condom- found. reminds me of my ex....i busted the jim and found some pieces in her like 3 days later... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSD666 Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 Sounds like she probably had an infant at home. Probably being watched by her parents or baby daddy while she was getting ran triz on by a bunch of dudes in some grimy ass basement. You should look this winner up on facebook or some shit and post the link for lols. not that I should put this out there but it dont fucking matter, I am 31, this took plast at least 15 years ago, with niggas that are seriously all in jail, or dead, but for ch0, I promise to do my best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Responda Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayWORD? Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 lying about getting pussy in real life is retarded. making up stories about getting pussy on the internet is even worse. but arguing with another man about whether or not his sex story is true or embellished on an internet forum is the most homo shit ever. congrats guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 ^i don't believe your story. Pics or it didn't happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 not really dude.... basically the idea was to front like we would snitch her out, and get loot snitching was not a part of the deal, but you can think of it how you want to cop 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortFuse Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 having zeh sex, girl said you can cum on my belly, Im not one to get off on such things so I was like..k you got it. Proceed to do so...then she bear hugged me.......yeah.....that wasnt a fun shower afterwards, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 ^C'mon son, nothing awesome or shameful about that. Post that story in the nonsense thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geomat Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 went on a date with a girl (half thai, tasty booty..) i met on online dating (yeah i do it with no shame) we had a good night, i took her out to tapas by the bay and then drove her back to her place in the burbs, when we got there she invited me in for a drink.. so we're in the lounge room by the fire sisppin fine wine and flirting for a good 15 minutes or so, she asks me a question, i forget what it was but i didn't answer it, another voice did, turns out her ex, who she had a restraining order out on, was sitting in the dark in the next room listening to us after sneaking in earlier in the day.. she freaked out. I was pretty chilled with it cause he was a little asian dude and seemed a bit nervy to be on game karate style.. anyways i let them have a chat and he eventually left.. ended up doing her on the couch and i shit you not she squirted about 4 times and screamed that it was the best sex she'd ever had.. also turns out he didn't really leave but came back and sat outside the window and listened to the whole thing.. i kept in touch with her for a bit but she was a bit psycho so i stopped it pretty quick.. damn was a freaky night though.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayWORD? Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 this thread got gay as fuck in a hurry. niggas talkin about ronald reagan tattoos. marriage, and nutting on chicks stomachs? fuckouttahea. this one is pretty tame... started pounding out this bitch in my car a few nights (early mornings) ago. we were just pulled off onto some side street in residential. lost track of time. look up to see the paper boy peering through my fogged up passenger window with a look of terror/a childish grin on his face. i had this girls shirt kinda pulled up as she was riding, so dude got a side view of some tits. as soon as he noticed i noticed, he bounced quick. chick didnt even notice, she was far too drunk, and i didnt mention it for fear she would get embarrassed and stop, and then i would be left with blueballs. i pride myself with the fact that this 14 year old probably got his first glimpse of live titties due to my sexual exploits. then again, i guess he coulda been looking at my dick. no homo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UPS! Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 arguing with another man about whether or not his sex story is true or embellished on an internet forum is the most homo shit ever. /QUOTE] My sentiment exactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 haha one time i came in a girls hair... you dudes that are sharing these intro to sex 101 stories better read the first 20 pages and up your game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Word, this I stuck my wee-wee in her hoo-hoo stories aren't cutting it in here. You're still rookie status unless you have had a girls friends blame you for her almost dying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayWORD? Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 unless you have a story about period blood, squirting endeavours, anal mishaps, or a fat bitch that got lambroasted/anything equally offensive, stay the fuck outta this thread. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 impregnating a suicidal 15 year old who went off the rails and tried to kill her self after her parents forced her to have an abortion. i had no shame. ps. we had nasty sex on church grounds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 they had to force a 15 year old to get an abortion? sounds like a smart girl. and how is a period blood story special? everyone's got at least one of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 ^Ask CreamyPotatoes....actually considering your current location...you should try and recreate that story and then post it in this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviltrailer77 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 how is a period blood story special? everyone's got at least one of those. Just for futher clarification we are not talking about The Standard "ruined the set of egyptian cotton bed sheets that where a gift from her mother, we really chrished them." Something more along these lines... Junior year of high school I had been dating this girl for about 3 months. She was on the swim team, in ap calculus and getting a full ride to Cal Poly for that shit. This girl had a future ya know? She had no bussines being with a thug ass kid like I was. Her parents fucking hated me from the second I stepped thru the door. She had them fooled in to thinking she was this virginal little good girl but this bitch was an undercover freak. Bitch LOVED the dick and missed no opportunity to get it stuck in her. Due to legal entanglements I was unable to get my license until I turned 18 but she always had her moms Volvo and $ for weed and munchies, so for me it was a pretty sweeet deal. Until she started in on that standard girl shit, "Why do you always dress like that? Why dont you let me take you shoping at X and we will get you some "nice" clothes." So after about a week of this I'm fucking done with this bitch. I figure I will grudge fuck her a couple more times and be done with it. Couple days later she is dropping me off at my house so she can make it back to her house by her 11:30 curfew. She wants to fuck before she heads home, so we hop in the back seat and I proceed to dig it out. I go to finish on her and I see I'm covered in blood. Not a ring around the base of my dick, but drenched in bright red blood. I tell her she is bleeding and she freaks out. I open the door and as the light comes on I can see the full depth of the devastation. There are bloody hand prints up by her head, two bloody leg prints from my legs, and the topper, a bloody pool and an ass-shaped clean spot where she had been laying. Needless to say there is no hiding this carnage on cloth seats. She is still in hysterics telling me I have to come home with her and talk to her parent with her, I'm having none of that business. She continues to cry and blither for a few more seconds then its like the acceptance of the inevitable sets in and she gets the thousand yard stare. Super calmly she tells me " I have to go, I will call you when I can." That was then last time I ever saw her or talked to her. About a month later I find out from her friends that her parents fucking lost it. Put her in a priavate Christian school, took away her license, pulled her out of swimming and put her on full blown lockdown. Cliff notes: Fucked a girl in the back seat of her moms car and made it look like a murder scene, got her sent to a private school, and probably fucked her scholarship deal in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperface Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I saw a pussy once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 so just because she wanted to buy you nice clothes you bitched out? why not go to X shop say nada and move on to a shop you want buy some decent clothing and look fucking presentable. besides that whole h4rdc0r3 thu6 look is long gone and nobody should ever have to wear pants that cover their shoes ever again. that shit should have stayed in the 70's. ps. its not only her that had a free ride, had you stayed with this freak that loved dick with money, smarts and good parents you would probably have been included in all of this and would never have to worry about shit again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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