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First Thing You Ever Stole


Weapon X

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The first thing I remember getting caught stealing (by my mom) was a Batman key chain from the movie theatre, when that first Tim Burton movie came out.

 

Not long after was the dog off of a Mack truck. My buddy taught me how to do it.

 

By the time I was a teenager, I was addicted to racking, but now, I don't steal shit. Ever. If I found an envelope with a few thousand in it, I'd probably do my best to return it. And when cashiers mess up, I always make sure I clear it up with them.

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pack of baseball cards

 

stuffed down my parachute pants and tried walking out the convenience store

 

they fell out the bottom once I reached the door

 

arab guy didn't notice the cards but noticed me drop something, I picked em up and ran out the door and all the way into a field next to the store... till I realized nobody was chasing me

 

baseball cards were hot commodity back then

 

(i was 9 or 10)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

find a wallet? standard fare is return wallet, keep cash. keeps thieves honest, and honest men paid.

 

and if a bank cashier hands me more than I asked for - fuck em, they take my money all the time.

 

 

city life makes you not care. if I lived in a town with 5,000 people maybe I'd return it to the post office if I found an envelope with $10,000 in it

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an address book at the age of 7 or 8 from a grocery store.

 

i dont remember my reasoning, maybe because i was bored at the damn grocery store.

my mom found it a week later and started asking questions

i was like... whhhaaaaattttt??? i totally bought that.... with money i found....

 

she made me go back to the store and apologize.

 

after that it was a number of things, but the next time i got caught was at a sports store, me and a couple friends were on some acid and were walking through the store like we owned the place just putting shit in our pockets. fun.

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Fucking hooligans. I've never stolen anything from a store. I have no idea how much money I've taken from my dad in quarters though. I kicked ass at metal slug.

 

 

The base I was at during middle school and some of high school was super poor and had almost no workers and no cameras at the commissary and shoppette so my friends would always steal CDs and snacks. I never thought a 10 dollar CD was worth getting my ID taken away though.

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