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Secret

graffiti friends vs "normal" friends

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Who do you choose??

 

I have a best-friend who moved away when we were young, and recently came back. After being apart for 8 years, it's obvious we developed a lot of different interests, but we still have the common bond... like sisters.

 

While we pay $7 each for parking at a trendy bar, I rather pay $7 to hop on the subway to see my crew and catch tags. My friend just recently broke up with her steady boyfriend of 3 years, and she's been rebelling like crazy. I was out of town for a week, and she already slept with some slimey 30 year old we met at a bar. She loves meeting older men, and I hate going with her because I already have somebody that I love of my own. I wanna be there for her because I know those older guys aren't her REAL friends... they just want to get in her pants. But she's facisnated by all the material things they have like Porsches, Audis, and million dollar homes. I miss my friends that live in little apartments full of canvases. I want to get away from this whole "fake hollywood" type scene, but how do you tell someone that's practically your sister you don't want to get hang out with her anymore?

 

:confused:

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Guest MR BOJANGLES

all my friends are writers, with a few b-boys and djs scattered in for good measure. fuck all outsiders!

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Well, I don't have any "hip-hop for life" friends, but thanks for your useless advice.

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hhhmmmm...perhaps take her with you to these studios of art, maybe itll "get her off" in other ways, then again maybe shell just sleep with all your friends...is this same girl you wanted to watch porn with cause she was dating an older guy? hmmm, i say try to do other things with her, check a movie, go shopping, grab some dinner, etc...jus something besides going clubbin, maybe thats where the problem lies...and also maybe your friend needs some good "sisterly advice", you guys shouldnt be afraid to to let the other one know....and then again perhaps you need to look past certain traits, she could be doing this because things are fucked up with her and its a cry for help, and a sister is really what she needs...then again perhaps she will just become one of those let do lunch once in a blue moon people...things change...r

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Guest --zeSto--

ummm... nope

the broader the cross section of society the better!

 

I want to meet and chill with...

 

Hardcore Christian Zealots

Post-Mullet Rockers

Spoiled Rich Girls

Rich, Bitchy and Bored Women

Old Dudes with Yachts and crazy stories

Mad Scientists

Pirates and Rogues

Ballet Dancers (girls)

Old turks who smoke Hookas

Chess Master who play in the park

Urban Sceensters

maybe even Yuppie Scum

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leave that hollywood b.s. behind....move to NY!

 

or, if you don't feel like doing anything that drastic, just tell her how she's being a blind idiot (but do it in the most concerned way that a real friend would) and suggest she do something better when you two spend time together...for example, tell her to try some of the things you are interested in (not necessarily graffiti). bring her to a museum or something.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

I dont choose something over something else, i choose my friends.

From person to person habits and behaviours change but i could never hang out with people i respect for being goodhearted and still acting completely stupid.

I lost many friends cause i didnt want to involve on their stupid shit. luckily.

Theory and practice as well as needs and prioritys have a huge gap inbetween

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hrmm... I recently went through something similar..and Im still kinda dealing with it. Without going into too much detail.....be honest. completely upfont without being blunt. Its a hard line to walk I know....but I always think honestly is the best policy. If you keep hanging with her......it will be fake and sooner or later she will realize this and be, perhaps more hurt than if you had just been upfront. I tend to err on the way too blunt side of the line and it has gotten me in trouble. Take it from me saying "I dont like you anymore" in a moment of pissed off-ness is not a good choice. Maybe you could approach the whole thing by telling her that you are concerned about how shes living lately or something like that.....anyhow.......thats my $.02

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Guest MR BOJANGLES

secret just move to cleveland, you can come be hiphop with us! forget that girl, you can become best friends with my girl! (p.s. i just posted in response to the topic name and not the story. so i gues my input was useless.)

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Originally posted by MR BOJANGLES

secret just move to cleveland...

 

Isn't that where Bone Thugs N Harmony are from?? I don't roll with no gangstas.

 

:)

 

Mesthree's advice seems the most reasonable. Eventually, the truth always comes out...

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Just tell her straight up that you are worried about her. There’s no telling what these old guys will do to her. Some are just “looking for some young pussy” and some are probably just using her to boost their old ass self esteem. All the while these guys are just messing your friend up (probably more emotionally and mentally than physically). Tell her that, and go from there.

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Just don’t stick around if she keeps acting that way. Sooner or later, you’re going to get dragged into some drama.

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oops, well...

 

make it apparent that you two are very different, and then maybe she'll start losing interest in you. or you can introduce her to the hooligans you normally hang out with. that might scare her away.

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dont hang out with here so much. just say your going out painting. let her know that art is one of your major hobies and you have other friends with the same intrests as you. the odd time give her a call but dont make her think that you guys are still best friends or somethin.

 

its hard i guess. i started hanign out with a friend i didnt see for like 5 years. we seem to be pretty cool but its not like we do everything together. i dont paint with him or go out on friday night but we will just chill. hes a chillin friend. i wouldnt ditch her secret. just let her know that you have other friends. im sure in time she will have lots of her own friends.

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Tell her how concerned you are about the lifestyle she has chosen to steer towards. Ask her why she has chosen this -- and tell her the truth about it. It's just empty sex and material goods. They say that if women can't have someone to support them emotionally - they'll find someone to support them financially -- (even though that isn't exactly the case) Tell her how she isn't going to find the comfort and support that she needs in these men and in the end they'll do more damange than good. Tell her how it hurts you to see her doings this and that if she continues to go along this path that she has chosen -- that you won't be able to stay friends with her because of it. It isn't exactly an ultimatum.. but just letting someone know that you are truely worried about them and that you care for their well being.

 

Help her get her mind off of things. Like some suggested -- take her to a movie.. introduce her to the world of modern art -- or something.. does she like to dance? Tell her to take classes (yoga, dance - something) -- she needs to get into something productive so that she can rebuild her self esteem.

 

(hope the jarble makes sense - or helps.)

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Originally posted by FROSTY

but dont make her think that you guys are still best friends or somethin.

 

:confused:

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when i read this post, my first thought was to reply with "well, just move to austin", but then i read the replies, and every other person is telling you to move to their city.....my conclusion, the best way outta this is to move somewhere.....that way, you wont have to act as if you dont want to chill with girl anymore....:D

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Originally posted by jades_blue

Tell her how she isn't going to find the comfort and support that she needs in these men and in the end they'll do more damange than good.

 

That's the exact problem right there. There's something I forgot to mention... she knows exactly what she's doing. She doesn't want ANY type of emotional support from these guys. I think her very clingy ex-boyfriend makes her this way. Her motto is "no expectations... no dissapointment!" I don't want to get too personal because that's unfair for her. I'm defitinetly going to talk to her...

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Guest professor poopatronic

kill her.

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my friends from before writing: will always be there for me..

 

my friends that i met through writing: will always be there for me..

 

 

 

and why?

cause i dont just paint with them, they are my real friends just as much as those that ive known since i was in high school.....

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Guest imported_Tesseract

Or tell her to come to Europe where audis arent that expensive nor a status symbol to play 'hollywood' with.

She'll have some great cheese and wine and she'll be sent back to you like a new person, :D

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Originally posted by --zeSto--

ummm... nope

the broader the cross section of society the better!

 

I want to meet and chill with...

 

Hardcore Christian Zealots

Post-Mullet Rockers

Spoiled Rich Girls

Rich, Bitchy and Bored Women

Old Dudes with Yachts and crazy stories

Mad Scientists

Pirates and Rogues

Ballet Dancers (girls)

Old turks who smoke Hookas

Chess Master who play in the park

Urban Sceensters

maybe even Yuppie Scum

 

 

same with me man. same with me. add some frat boys and beverly hills girls to that list and some comic book nerds and surfers and im down.

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i dont have graffiti friends. everyone i meet that does graffiti has the whole 'im a fucking rebel, fuck the cops, im a gangster' attitude. i stick to the friends that dont do graffiti. it might be my niegborhood, but most people in this culture seem to be quite ignorant.

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